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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

What do you if your mother objects to the name you love?

31 replies

Tyniclogs · 16/02/2009 22:37

I have fallen in love with a boys name which is unusual (and dual gender) and I ran it past my mother today. She objects to the name as it reminds her of a an ex girlfriend of my brother (who died six years ago) The ex girlfriend wasn't a nice person and my mother holds a grudge. I'm very keen on the name as there are so few which go with our ridiculous surname. SO....the question is, do I stick to my guns and tell my mother she will have to live with it OR choose a different name to save the potential heartache?

I'm planning on finding out the sex at my scan next week and have my fingers crossed for a girl as the name we have chosen is my mothers!

OP posts:

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thumbwitch · 16/02/2009 22:41

ah now, I was going to say ignore her but before I opened this I thought "unless it really has bad connotations for her".
I think I would really look for an alternative myself as the connotations of the name might affect your ma's feelings for your lo, not that they should, of course, but still.

I have a huge loathing for a few (mostly girls') names, as does DH, purely because of people we have known with these names and it does affect how I see new people I meet with those names, even though it's completely illogical!

sweetkitty · 16/02/2009 22:43

Well maybe I'm the wrong person to ask but that would make me like the name even more

but seriously this is your baby not your mothers and if you love the name then go for it

my advice is NEVER discuss names with anyone in RL (MN is the exception) there is always someone who will say someone bad about the name and try and put you off, you cannot please everyone, much better to announce the name as a surprise when the baby is born

Original poster

Tyniclogs · 16/02/2009 22:50

Sorry I didn't mean to post this thread 3 times, does it show that I've never posted before?!

Yes, it's a tricky one as on one hand I do think the link is pretty vague, also given the name would be for a boy rather than girl. On the other hand I know my mother can take umbridge at all manner of things that I wouldn't even think of and I obviously don't want to cause her any hurt. The name itself is going to be contraverstial (my apologies for rubbish spelling!) in any case so it's going to be one which has to be given with complete conviction!

OP posts:

MuchLessTiredNow · 16/02/2009 22:52

if you love it, go for it. as soon as she sees her grandchild, the connotations will go. but don't mention it again until then. my mother hated all my suggested names for my children, but now says she thinks they are beautiful names

thumbwitch · 16/02/2009 22:54

is there another derivative of the name you can use, or pronounce it differently so that it doesn't conjure up the image of this horrible girl for your ma?

(what is the name, btw?? [nosey emoticon])

Original poster

Tyniclogs · 16/02/2009 22:59

No, unfortunately I can only use one syllable names so it's already a shortened version. OK, I don't wish to be shot down in flames...but here goes...Viv Heasman.

OP posts:

thumbwitch · 16/02/2009 23:08

whoops, didn't expcet you to post the whole name, just the baby name in question! you might want to think about pulling that post to maintain anonymity = just click on the red exclamation mark on the right of the page for that post if you decide to and ask MNHQ to delete it cos you accidentally put your surname in.

If you're not worried about it, then no prob!

I can see your issue though.

Original poster

Tyniclogs · 16/02/2009 23:12

I have a different name so it doesn't worry me. I did marry Mr Heasman but I wasn't about to saddle myself with his surname! I thought it would help to see the situation more clearly..I love the name Viv for a boy and there are VERY few names I can come up with that go with 'Manwhodwellsonaheath!'

OP posts:

thumbwitch · 16/02/2009 23:15

I take your point about short and sharp names, definitely - and I do like Viv (always makes me think of Viv Richards, WI cricketer).
how do you feel about Val? (like Val Kilmer)

Original poster

Tyniclogs · 16/02/2009 23:20

Thank you Thumbwitch. I liked Val...and Vic but the 'L' and the 'C' jar a little in my head. I have realised after naming DS number one successfully that I am completely anal about names that 'go' well.

I have as back up: Guy, Roy, Jerry, Vinnie and Leo.

OP posts:

thumbwitch · 16/02/2009 23:25

you could just go for Vin then - like Vin Diesel (or however he spells it); or what about Vlad (the Impaler)?

Original poster

Tyniclogs · 16/02/2009 23:35

I'm liking Vlad (with The and Impaler as middle names!)

OP posts:

SenoraPostrophe · 16/02/2009 23:35

my mum objected to ds's name.

I used it anyway.

I think as your ds grows, she'll come to associate him with the name before your brother's ex.

it's not a ridiculous surname btw. most names will go with it.

littlelamb · 16/02/2009 23:38

I would do it anyway. I made the mistake of telling my mum the name I was going to use for dd (I was convinced she was going to be a boy at that stage btw) about a week before she was born only to be told that everyone she had known with that name was dim Thanks mum. I would say don't tell anyone about a name until that name actually belongs to your dc. They wil only feel free to criticise it otherwise

thumbwitch · 16/02/2009 23:41

might affect his future career options though!

seeker · 16/02/2009 23:46

But Viv is a girl's name. Why would you give your boy a girl's name? You wouldn't - presumably - call him Daisy, so why Viv?

thumbwitch · 16/02/2009 23:49

Viv is both a male and female name.
Remember Vivien from the Young Ones?
If being pedantic, the girl's version should be spelt Vivienne.

MsBrandybuck · 16/02/2009 23:52

I'd say go for whatever name you like. I'm sure your Mum will soon forget any other association with the name.

Our niece told her Gran (my MIL) what she had named her newborn first great grandaughter. My MIL's exact response was "That's shit!!" , so we refused to tell anyone the names we were considering for DS. Well after much nagging I told MIL if we had a girl it was going to be Hepzibah ...just to shut her up for a while

wasaconventgirl · 17/02/2009 00:08

My mother did'nt like my child's name - I still used it. Tuff titty.

Clary · 17/02/2009 00:23

I wouldn't worry about yr mum (my mum dislikes all my children's names - she says they are "old-fashioned" )

I wouldn't give a boy what is more commonly a girl's name tho - like Evelyn, Carol, Hilary, the assumption would be a girl.

I prefer Guy from your back-up list, tho I agree with SP (hello!) that many names will go with it - Daniel, Oliver, Jacob, oh I could go on.

I've heard many worse

seeker · 17/02/2009 06:40

Vivian uses to be a boy's name - but it isn't any more. The reason that character in The Young Ones was called Vivian was precisely because of its inappropriateness!

seeker · 17/02/2009 06:42

And I know about Viv Richards - but he could be called Wendy and get away with it! You just don't know what sort of a person your ds will be - he may be small and shy and diffident and Viv will be a burden to him.

Original poster

Tyniclogs · 17/02/2009 09:30

Thanks for your comments everyone, I'm sure I shall know what the answer is when the time comes, I was just interested in other's opinion of the situation. On the whole I completely agree with everyone who says it's entirely your choice! I'm aware the name isn't to everyones' taste, if we all worried about what others thought we'd all name our children the same names. Children grow into their names whatever they may be and I'm sure in the future Viv will have classmates with far worse spellings and names to contend with! The issue for me isn't the name just the effect it may have on my mum.

OP posts:

Ashantai · 17/02/2009 23:19

Sorry i would definately think that Viv was a girls name, but hey its your bub, you can call him what you like

RiaParkinson · 17/02/2009 23:23

I think its lovely but then i know a gorgeous bloke with the same

Ignore mum she will come round

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