Dilemma

[MrsY]

Hi.

Wanted a bit of advice.

My husband and I are a few weeks of having our first baby, a girl. We found it really hard to agree on names, but had one or two 'top choices'.

When asked by friends and family I've tried to be non committal, but as one name (M...) edged in advance of the other two, he started referring to her by that name (at home). Now there are messages on his facebook page from a friend of his saying how much she is looking forward to meeting M... and his brother has posted on there cousins page that M... is due this month. One of the reasons I liked the name is because it's quite unusual, so the more I see/hear the name, the more usual it seems and the more I go off it.

I maintain that she might not suit this name, and that we might choose something else, but now I feel like the decision has already been made for me.

Anyone else had a similar experience, or am I being mad?

i already named my daughter, then changed my mind in the delivery room in case she was ugly - it was one of those names you have to be pretty to carry off.

its your baby too, speak up woman

Thanks, custardo.

I feel like one way or the other I'll be making a decision based on other people, which is stupid.

I still love the name, and if it no-one knew the name, would probably use it, but it feels like I can't change my mind, even if I wanted to. Bit of a rock and a hard place, situation... I've tried to talk to my husband about it, but he doesn't understand (either that a name should suit a baby, or that the fact people know the name bother's me).

It doesn't help that I'm incapable of deciding what I want to wear or eat, let alone name my baby!

Also doesn't help that when I broach the subject with my husband, he hmms at them all, and then says "I still like M..."

MrsY It sounds like he is being rather manipulative, knowing that you haven't 100% decided yet telling people the name and referring to her by the name in order to pressurize you.
I would sit him down and be very clear you aren't 100% about it, and that his behavior is putting you off the name, you no longer want her referred to by name and get him to tell friends that the name hasn't been decided.

This is ridiculous! You're the one who going into labour, not him, unless he wishes to swap? Remind him that it's all undecided. How dare he 'hmmm'about your decision! He needs a bit of reminding about what you're about to go through and how his support will be needed in every way.
God, I hate all this facebook business of having to let everyone know what you're doing 24 hours a day. Where's the mystery anymore? Let him merrily type away what he wants to. He'll just have to amend it all when you've decided what to call the baby. Isn't the announcement all part of the fun? He can't force your hand in this. Who's going to be doing the majority of feeding, changing nappies etc? He should be a little more gracious, caring and spontaneous about it all. FWIW, I don't think you should worry about anything right now, in the euphoria immedately after having the baby, you just might be able to talk him round to the name you want

MrsY, if you love the name, use it and sod everyone else.
when I had DD 2 years ago we'd chosen her name a few months before and it really helped us bond with her when she arrived as she was already part of the family. We only told our eldest two DC then aged 13 and 10 what her name was. I had a few wobbles just before she was born that it wouldn't suit her but you will know as soon as you see her.
Look forward to the birth announcement!

Custardo, I'm sure your DD wasn't ugly and was in fact beautiful as all baby girls are

You'll hear the name a heck of a lot more when she's born, so it was bound to end up sounding normal to you anyway. If you like it, use it.
Go on, tell us what it is!

My dh did a similar thing. He told the nurses at the hospital what our dd2's name was and they wrote it on her tag. then when we got home he told everybody else too! I have never liked dd2's name and feel a bit daft when I tell people what it is. There is nothing wrong with her name but I just wouldn't have picked it. She is two now.

Savoy, what is it?