Baby girls name picked 3 years ago but brother-in-law just left his family for woman with same name?!

[Zacksmummy]

What would you do? - stick with the name you both liked/imagined using if you had a girl or would you be put off by the pain caused within the extended family by "the other woman" of the same name?! Brother in laws wife and children don't yet know about the other woman for definite yet or her name, she lives abroad and we have never met her.
Hubbies attitude is that if we like the name then we should stick with it regardless (I'm a bit more sensitive so I'm worried!)
(Baby due in 8 weeks but don't know if boy or girl....)

I think that you should call your baby Lucy as planned. I was going to call my dd after my MIL and then a looser seleb had a baby the month befire and called her baby my name! I called my dd another name as I felt a bit daft and I really, really regret it now. After a few weeks people will associate your baby's name with your baby and not with anybody else.

Lucy is a lovely name and it is not a totally unusual name so it may pass under the radar with your extended family. The chances are that they will probably split up anyway!

I don't think you should use the name - sorry. My brothers' ex wives had 2 of my favourite girl's names, and I asked them how they would feel if I used the names and the both said they would feel very hurt and thought it would upset their children - so I didn't. Still regret not having a little Caroline thought!

I agree with you. I think it would send out a message that you don't care about SIL's pain or discomfort.

It's perhaps a shame, but there must be another name.

I love Lisa - in fact I think I prefer it to Lucy. And it's not a widely used nowadays so you won't get three of them in her class...

how about Lucia?

I think I'd go with a different name, or one similar but not the exact one. Especially as everthing will be so new and raw at the time of naming your baby.

I would ask BIL's wife and and your MIL for their opinions.

Personally I would probably change the name but if you love it then stick to your guns.

I would ask BIL's wife and and your MIL for their opinions.

Personally I would probably change the name but if you love it then stick to your guns.

OOh tricky.
Probably wait and see if you have the baby before your sil finds out about the affair, call her Lucy if sil does not find out about the ow first.
This sounds awful I know but the name may have negative connotations with family.

Your BIL may not stay with this woman and her name may never be known so use the name you like I think though the spelling Lucie is very pretty so maybe a good middle way.

Perhaps tell your Sis (is that who was left?) that you have chosen name Lucy so you stake your claim now, before she finds, out, so she knows it is coincidence not vindictive?