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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Baby name dilemma - what would you do?

23 replies

missytabitha · 15/12/2008 06:56

Really interested to hear the objective view on this. Have DS1. I chose his name about 20 weeks just after we found out he was a he. DH liked it okay and that was that. Never really changed our minds and it was lovely that he was welcomed into the world with his name.

I am also having a boy this time and I agreed DH could choose the name. He has a defintite preference for a name and here is my dilemma. I also love the name. In fact I suggested it to a close friend around ten years ago (when babies just weren't on the horizon to me) and she called her only DS this name.

Without going into any detail I am no longer close to this friend though we still move in same circles (we were very close up to about two years ago). Is it acceptable to use this name for our DS2 do you think or is it a social 'no'? I don't want to upset her. I also don't feel that I can talk to her about this. My DH doesn't think there is a problem as it is a family name for him and as he says 'She doesn't have copywright on the name!' which is a point. Therefore posting and welcome your views!

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goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh · 15/12/2008 06:58

agree with you DH......

although having said that after my cousin named her DD our preferred girls name it was never on the list for my subsequent babies had they turned out to be girls (but then we had pointedly decided not to have any family names at all).

lizziemun · 15/12/2008 06:59

I would agree with your DH, especialy if it is a family name.

carrotsandpeasifyouplease · 15/12/2008 08:16

well you suggested it in the first place so I would definately go with it, and there are 10 years in between so I really don't think it will be a problem.

belgo · 15/12/2008 08:21

Agree with your dh.

belgo · 15/12/2008 08:21

But I should ask first, what's the name?

GooseyLoosey · 15/12/2008 08:23

Agree with your dh too and as there is a 10 year age gap, the two children are not exactly likely to be moving in the same circles anyway.

piscesmoon · 15/12/2008 08:24

Agree with DH.

littleboyblue · 15/12/2008 08:25

Agree with your dh too.

mickeymistletoe · 15/12/2008 09:14

Agree with your DH. its not as though the two boys are going to play together is it? if you love it but settle for something else you will probably regret it.

Cies · 15/12/2008 09:16

I agree with your DH.

largeginandtonic · 15/12/2008 09:21

Agree with your DH but like Belgo we need the name

LiffeyCanSpellGeansaiNollaig · 15/12/2008 09:49

Would your friend remember that you always liked the name too? or even that you suggested it in fact!!

If so, she's unlikely to think that you copied her, in some rueful lament of your fading friendship! That would be embarrassing imo. Maybe I overanalyse things!

Is the name something relatively normal, in your taste, in the same style as your first DC's name?!

I mean, it's not Dc1 Jacob adn Dc2 Bruno is it? The two names are 'stylistically' similar are they?? If so, the 'friend' may not even be that surprised when it reaches her ears that your sons have the same name.

It's not that easy to find a name that you both like, that matches your first child's name, that isn't already used in your immediate circle, that matches your surname...... i'm sure your xfriend is still aware of all that.

LiffeyCanSpellGeansaiNollaig · 15/12/2008 09:50

ps, please tell us the name though!!!

2pt4WiseMen · 15/12/2008 09:51

Not a problem with using the name at all imo

edam · 15/12/2008 09:53

Your dh is right, otherwise we'd run out of names - imagine if no-one was allowed to use Jack or Lily because one out of 60m people in this country had already got that name? She's not your sister or SIL, the children are a decade apart - would be very daft to avoid a name you like for such a tangential connection IMO.

HarktheheraldAnglepoise · 15/12/2008 09:56

Use it.

Original poster

missytabitha · 15/12/2008 17:08

Ladies, forgive me I have been out all day. Thank you for the many replies. I really appreciate it and you have given me the answer I need though I will probably mention it to my pal anyway out of courtesy. I am probably overanalysing the situation.
PS. Name is Joseph
PPS. Now you are all going to tell me you HATE the name :-)

OP posts:

LynetteScavo · 15/12/2008 17:15

It's a great name!

I also agree with your DH.

Personally I would keep quiet about the name untill your baby is born.

Someone I know called her DS2 the same name as my DS2. She had decided long before the baby was born, but kept quiet - I'm glad she did.

BikeRunSki · 15/12/2008 17:20

Joseph! One of the oldest names going.... of cpurse your ex-friend doesn't have copyright on it! Use it! NOW!

delightedoldbag34 · 15/12/2008 17:54

Absolutely. Use it!

nowwearefour · 15/12/2008 17:57

goodness. definitely think you should use the name. even if they were the same age and would play together all the time i wouldnt see a problem so in this situation definitely definitely definitely! esp as the name is joseph which is so lovely! i know a joseph born this year and one about to be born in january!!!!

belgo · 16/12/2008 07:47

use it! It's a lovely name.

largevirginbirthandtonic · 16/12/2008 08:52

Use it, i love it! My ds has it as a middle name

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