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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Ptolemy???

129 replies

SpangleMaker · 11/12/2008 15:12

Found out today we are having a boy

DH has suggested calling him Ptolemy... at first I thought he was joking but now the name's really growing on me and we're seriously considering using it. Trouble is, we're not mega posh & the kid will be going to a state school.

So what do you think? Acceptable in this age of weird names, or are we being mean to the poor child?

OP posts:
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tessofthedurbervilles · 12/12/2008 13:01

Remember beware of the name that is a grower....your first reaction to the name is what it will get all of its life when it meets people.

themoon66 · 12/12/2008 13:04

It makes me think of an Italian sausage for some reason.

wotuhohohoinat · 12/12/2008 13:18

No. Poor kid. Don't do it.

LurkerOfTheUniverse · 12/12/2008 13:31

I like how it sounds, but what is the point of having p at the start? Just looks odd and confuses everyone.

Loving Ptolemy The Great though

KittyBigglesworth · 12/12/2008 16:38

I really like it!

When you say he's going to a state school, that doesn't necessarily have to condemn him to having the pee ripped out of him just because it will be a state school. It depends upon the culture of the state school, probably influenced by the area it's in, academic results it has, type of parents sending their children there etc.

Imagine this:

"What's his name?"
"Ptolemy"

Scenario 1: "Ahh, I've heard that name before somewhere, a young man, an architect presenting a tv series...." It's a conversation starter, if you feel like it, you can go on to tell them more about the origins of the name if they aren't already aware of it or tell them why you chose it. If they show more interest, great, they may be intrigued, congratulate you on selecting an unusual name and ask you more. If they don't, or say they hate it, who cares? It will never be a bland name so it will polarise opinion.

Scenario 2 "Eh? What Tolemmeee? Whatzzat? Never heard of it before, where does that come from then?" They might not have had the benefit of a broad education and they might be genuinely curious to understand more.

If of limited interest or intelligence and it's obvious they just won't care or want to know more, just say it's a name with Greek origins, old family name, whatever. There are many Indian, Chinese, Middle Eastern names etc that have to spelt out today anyway. People are used to what they perceive as unusual names.

Scenario 3: Very worst case scenario - A thick and horrid individual encounter, they think that it's a made up name, "T-O-L-O-M-E-E-E-E" Whatever will they think of next, ha,ha, what a ridiculous name, I suppose it's like another one of those Princess Tiami, Heavenly Hirani or Apple names, what is wrong with a good old British name!" Racist undertones,you know the type, think they know it all, always bragging, but in all reality know very little. See the lighthearted side of the situation. Have a set, short, snappy reply in place in your memory ready for this sort of very rare but expected exchange. Chances are, they might either realise they're stooooopidly ill informed or it will all go over their heads. Why care what they think if they're not the type of person you want to talk to anyway? Just laugh it off.

Scenario 4 - Someone educated "Ahh, that's an underused name, the great and influential Greek astronomer....." Sigh of relief, you can chat, laugh about how some people are really flummoxed by the name etc. Chortle that you thought that naming him with it would automatically make him great at geometry. Oh God, you can see I'm not good at small talk.

You can even use the introduction of name as an intrument to distinguish the pleasant, interested and educated from the plebs less enlightened. Get it all over and done with in the first few mintues of introduction, yah or nay!

School tutors and receptionists (whether it be at surgeries, offices, etc)are used to odd spellings in today's world anyway. His friends will naturally just accept it. With Wikipedia, nobody is that ignorant anymore, anyone from the age of 7yrs old can type "Ptolemy" into Google and read about the origins of the name. It's not like the days of old when you'd actually had to go to a library and actively find a book that answered your query if you weren't fortunate enough to have been taught by someone who knew the answer or didn't own the appropriate books. The accessibility of knowledge has been completely transformed by the internet.

I would go for it! Look how much can be said about it! A lot more interesting than a top ten name.

Apologies for the long reply.

nooka · 12/12/2008 18:52

Lol Kitty I get mostly one or two for my name, and I'm not often forgotten (mostly a good thing). The only irritation is when I ring up somewhere where you get a receptionist who takes down your name (I'm never sure why they do this as the next person invariably asks in any case) and then says "what" after you say it. Very rude.

I do always have to spell it, but then I'm used to that so it's no big deal, in fact I usually start off spelling it out before they ask how. And mostly people are unsure how to pronounce it, so they are always a bit tentative.

I've always liked being unique (in fact I get very irritated when I come across someone in the public eye with my name ) but I guess it takes a certain personality to carry it off. But the OP says both her and her husband have unusual names, so I guess they have experience in that area.

nkf · 12/12/2008 19:06

It has a P at the beginning because that's how it's spelled.

SpangleMaker · 12/12/2008 19:15

Kitty thanks, that's a really lovely reply.

I'm trying to work out how many of the negative views are indicative of how his peers would react and how many are the reactions of other parents. Eg 'pretentious', 'trying too hard' 'if you wanted a posh name...' etc are not views children have, so I'm not bothered about those sort of opinions at all. Plenty of really rather normal names are the brunt of jokes too - eg a friend Nicholas was 'knickerless' & a George (in the 70's when it was unfashionable) was 'Georgie Porgie...' (or the pink puppet off Rainbow!)... not to mention any dodgy surnames - which I had as a child - but we all got over it with no harm done.

Re first reactions, I did think DH was joking at first just because it's so unusual. I don't happen to agree that first reactions to a name are the most important. Any decent person would be more interested in the individual behind the name, though I admit an unusual name does lead to expectations of having a strong character. Actually, when I think of the adult Ptolemy I think the name will give him a distinct advantage in that he'll be easily remembered which is a definite plus in most careers.

OP posts:
nkf · 12/12/2008 19:18

SpangleMaker, if you don't really care about other people's opinions, why did you elicit them on an Internet forum. If you like the name, use it. Why will other people's opinions either for or against make be of interest?

SpangleMaker · 12/12/2008 19:31

Because, if you read my op, I'm thinking about the child and the reactions he'd get at school. I wasn't asking if anyone thought I would be being pretentious, though blatantly quite a few people do.

Anyway I thought MNers love a good debate

OP posts:
ScummyMummy · 12/12/2008 19:31

The thing is, I honestly think a significant proportion of people would actively sneer and tease, throughout his life. Some might be rude enough to to so to his face, others would fail to disguise their eyerolling, more still would comment behind his back in a way that would get back to him via evesdropping children. That is would be quite quite wrong of them but I think it would certainly happen. A sensitive child would hate this- he'd need to be very emotionally robust to carry it off, imo.

nkf · 12/12/2008 19:36

Oh, I see. Nobody can really tell how kids will react at school.

SpangleMaker · 12/12/2008 19:53

No, that's the thing... ScummyMummy may well be right, but then kids can also be very accepting, eg I went to quite a rough secondary school where there were some deaf kids but no-one ever took the mickey out of them.

OP posts:
nooka · 12/12/2008 20:17

I suspect it depends on your local area too. Until recently we lived in London, where my kids were at school with an Attila. When I raised an eyebrow they were most perplexed, as it didn't seem a weird name to them. On the other hand when we moved to NYC there were lots of Korean kids in the class, and my children thought they had odd names. However I suspect that if we had stayed there longer after a while those names would have seemed perfectly ordinary. So I'd only worry if everyone around you is calling their children "ordinary" names like Harry, Jack, Chloe etc etc, in which case Ptolemy might stand out rather more. So long as there is lots of diversity I doubt it will be a problem (generally a good thing too for those of us who worry about our children standing out for any reason).

ScummyMummy · 13/12/2008 01:04

I don't think the problem will be with his peers until he hits about 10/11/12 plus. Some adults would be quite likely to comment negatively though, unfortunately. Teachers at both my primary and secondary schools thought nothing of commenting and gently teasing children with unusual names, names they considered spelt wrong and lengthening/shortening names without the say so of the child. I think the specific problem with Ptolemy is that it combines a Rupertlike uberposhness (often a problem in the sometimes inversely snobbish world of state schools) with being unusual enough to actively invite comment and having a silent p. Anyway, I'm shutting up on the matter now! He's your baby so his choice of name is yours. If you love the name then you should probably go for it and bugger the wider world.

Clary · 13/12/2008 02:09

My sister (who lives in South London) knows two Ptolemys. Eh??

They go in for very ahem unusual names there apparently.

It would be looked very askance on in this part of the Midlands I feel.

My DC have rather unusual names just now, but most people can spell them - as they have a grandad called that.

I do think it;s a pain always having to spell your name, or always getting it spelled wrong (and I speak as someone in the latter situation)

Imagine calling your child Medea have these people never read Greek literature?

thumbElf · 13/12/2008 12:30

that's what I thought, Clary - might as well have called her Medusa (although more people would be aware of the negative connotations for that, surely?)

mumzy · 14/12/2008 09:12

I know a little boy called Ptolemy (its pronounce with a silent P so we say Tol'lemy) at first I did'nt like it but now its really grown on me and it suits him very well. I think its the name of an Eyptian pharoah (though I may be wrong here) IMO its unusual, classical, not difficult to pronounce once you've been told once and you really remember the child. So all good reasons IMO for choosing a name

onebatmotherofgoditschilly · 14/12/2008 10:09

But by the time he's 11-ish, he'll either be supercool and able to take it, or he'll have abbreviated to Tol, which is sort of Lawrentian and lovely.

Even though a very dear friend of mine uses it as the exemplar of pretentious di pretentious , I actually rather like it

annasmami · 14/12/2008 10:23

Why would any parent comment negatively on (innocent) child's name???? I mean, its just a name! Would they also comment negatively on their choice of hairstyle, clothes, the parents house, their choice of holidays???

Why aren't we more accepting of other people's choices??? Its ok not to like other people's choice of name, shoes, hair styles etc, but you wouldn't tease them because of it, would you?

thumbElf · 14/12/2008 11:59

annasmami - it must be a long time since you were at school - children find anything out of the ordinary to be a target for teasing. Some adults never grow out of it either and think it is ok to bully tease people about many of their life choices.

LurkerOfTheUniverse · 14/12/2008 12:08

lol at tiredemma though

phlebotomy is quite unusual

thumbElf · 14/12/2008 12:11

no no, Lurker, phlebotomy takes place daily at every hospital in the country!

T'would be a shocking name, like Candida or Chlamydia

LurkerOfTheUniverse · 14/12/2008 12:29

yeah, I know

thought it would go down a treat with the London-types

LurkerOfTheUniverse · 14/12/2008 12:30

my mil was a phlebotomist for 40 years