What would you do?

[McDreamy]

If your fav baby name was used by your DH's best friend for his child would you still use it? They use a different shortened version of the name than we would use but still the same name. Although it's DH's best friend we are not close as families. Would it be bad form to use it?

no if you like it have it

if you like it use it - no one has a monopoly on a name.

If you like it then use it, particularly as your families are not close.

When pg with DD I liked the name a v good friend of mine had for her DD but as I didn't know her child I didn't feel strange using the name. I also asked her first if she would mind but she was really pleased I liked the name that much (and her daughter was chuffed to have a baby named after her too)

I really really love it but I don't want to offed. You're right though throckenholt - no one has the monopoly on a name and I'm sure DH's BF and his wife would see it like that. (I really hope so)

offend

Personally, I wouldn't use it if it were close friend as feel it would be 'tainted'! This happened to us with the name Lucy. Its a pretty common name but it just didn't feel right using after a close-ish friend used it.

We have a rule of not choosing any name belonging to anyone we know. This does make it pretty tricky to choose a name!

e.g.

Me [at end of tether trying to find an unclaimed name]: "Well what about Rufus?"

DH: "No. Our next-door neighbour at our old house had a dog called Rufus."

Me: [getting very exasperated]: "Milo then?"

DH: "No. There was a boy in my brother's class at primary school called Milo. He was a knob."

DH: "What about Jarrow. We don't know anyone called Jarrow."

Me: "That's because it is a really, really crap name! Aaaaargh!!!"

That's the problem LuLuBai, now that we and our friends are onto second and third (and some fourth) babies there are fewer names than when DD was born.

I really think if I don't use it I will regret it!

I think the fact that a close friend has used the name would put me off, but I can understand that the 'pool' of names has got smaller as more and more of your friends have kids. I am pregnant with my second and after using our favourite girl's name for our first child, there are only a few girls' names DH and I can agree on for the second.

I would ask DH's friend if he'd mind, explaining that you really, really like the name and have done for a while. Most people would say go ahead, and even if he doesn't approve, at least you'd know that you did the decent thing by asking first.

It is just the DH' that are close. As I said before the families are not close and although I get on with his wife we're not buddies and I don't think we ever will be. The other thing is we'll never live close to each other either - think I am ust making excuses to justify using the name!!! I'll stop now.

Use it. You'll regret it if you don't.

yes, i would still us eit

Go for it then. Esp if

a) you are going to use a different nickname
b) it's not some extremely unusual 'Rumplestiltskin' type name that is unique to them

No no not a unique name at all, more of a classic.

Can you tell us the name or would you rather not?

As LLB says i would use it if your friend is using a different shortened version.

The only reason for not telling you the name is that I know a few mumsnetters and it would give away the gender - which we are keeping to ourselves for now

Awww, good for you

We had always wanted Ben for a boy. My BIL and SIL had their baby boy six months before us and called him Benjamin. I would have still liked Ben but knew Benjamin would probably be referred to as Ben by most people (he is).

I supposed that is different as it's family and it would be pretty weird for the grandparents to have 2 grandsons called Ben!!

If your not close as families I would go for it.

That's a bit spooky DS is called Ben lol Yes when it comes to families it's a bit different isn't it, esp when it means grandparents having 2 grandchildren with the same name. Shame for you though

We have a Daniel and he is a Daniel ifkwim.

Daniel and Ben are very close and they look so alike that everyone thinks they are twins. Can you imagine being out with them and telling people they are called Ben and Benjamin?!

lol! DH and I couldn't decide, he wanted Benedict and I wanted Benjamin, decided he would probably always be known as Ben anyway so we went for that! Daniel was next on our list!!!!!

My ex's first cousin had the same name. They were only 10 months apart in age, went to the same school and had the same (unusual) surname and looked quite alike so it was very confusing.

I did read that it was just your DH that was close the man. I was referring to a close friend of both of or either of you, not just people you are friend's with. Would it make more difference to you if it was one of YOUR close friends? Which brings me to this point - how does your DH feel about using the same name?

oops - apostrophe abuse - shoudl be 'friends with'.

Right - now have gone full circle and maybe want something of our own!!! Don't you just love being pregnant!!!!!!

I wouldn't use it. My step sister and a very good friend have both used our first and second boy's name choices recently - they're now off our list. They are too close to us for it not to matter.