Two surnames - why the confusion?

[CuppaTeaJanice]

Myself and DP are both the 'last in line' when it comes to our surnames, so neither of us were prepared to give up our family name and we have given DS both surnames.

This seems to be causing some confusion, particularly at the doctors surgery and health clinics where they seem to want to give DS my surname only. Other places tend to put a hyphen between the names.

Has anybody else given their child 2 surnames (not double-barrelled)?

I can think of a few examples - Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen, Frances Hodgson Burnett, Whatshisname Cougar Mellencamp etc (some may be hyphened or stage names, not sure). It's not that unusual, surely, so why is it causing such confusion and are we going to have to constantly explain his name for his entire childhood?

I wasnt with my sons father when i gave birth and had such a dilema over surname. In the end i decided to give my childboth my surname and his dads (dads 1st) - now my child has just started school i regret this decision purely for the nightmare of trying to to write it all out! Its abit of a mouthful especially as he has a middle name too. School have randomly stuck a hyphen in there even though iv not done this on any form and written them separately.

Alot of people if they know my name... just assume my sons name is the same and the other two are middle names!

I actually really regret doing it! People just dont understand two separate surnames at all! Dad gets upset if just my surname is used. Its caused me hassle so far in life tbh and i can only see it getting worse in future for my son :-s Even a matter as simple as the register in school - would that be done by first surname or second? If a child has two?!

We’re not married, and neither of us would change our names even if we were so our son has both. His first, then mine, not hyphenated.

Personally, I don’t think it requires that much adjustment to accept that somebody has two surnames. I don’t mind correcting people until they get used to it. I think it’s ridiculous to expect either parent to have to give up a name too!

10 year old thread people

Not strange to me - in Scotland double surnames have been common for a long time - never used to be hyphenated, and it was considered to be very English/French to use a hyphen.

Deed Poll and Wikipedia say the hyphen is optional and Wiki points out David Lloyd George, Ralph Vaughan Williams, Kristin Scott Thomas and others as examples. It’s fine - just a non-hyphenated double barrelled surname.

When we got married we both took both names (hyphenated) there's been no confusion, DS will also have the same, I think the confusion comes when there are different names for parents and child, NHS assume it will be the same as mum at least

Camilla Parker Bowles

When they're not hyphenated it's more ambiguous as it's fairly common to give the mothers surname/maiden name as a middle name, and lots of first names nowadays reassemble surnames. So I can understand the confusion.

Having said that my surname is hypehnated and that doesn't eliminate these problems. As a pp said not all computer systems (especially abroad) are set up for hyphens, and for anything organised in alphabetical order it seems utterly random which name is used. I often receive official letters with only one of my two surnames.

On the other hand, as someone who lived in Spain I can confirm they are equally rigid with bureaucracy. It might have got better since I lived there, but I had lengthy arguments with the woman in my local bank. She insisted on knowing my "segundo apellido" - second surname - and simply would not accept I didn't have one, despite what was clearly stated on my passport.

In Spain people do have two surnames but in everyday use just use the first one - like Antonio Banderas, Penelope Cruz. Their second surname will be on everything official though. The only Spaniards I've known who use both surnames do so because their names are very common. You could easily have several people called Pedro Garcia in one company, so using Pedro Garcia Fernandez identifies you.

And of course you have the possibility of having two surnames the same. One of my best friends over there was Inma Extebarria Extebarria.

I didn’t hyphenate my DC’s surnames and their new school automatically goes by the last of the two surnames which is my exH’s . I didn’t ask for that and both surnames are clearly on all forms but they keep choosing purely to use the latter.

I don’t know why it causes so much confusion either, it’s pretty easy to understand someone having two surnames without the need for a hyphen.