our fave name has been swiped!!

[claudib]

i'm due in 9 weeks and a friend of ours who's just given birth has announced they are calling their child our planned name! (-they didn't know it)
they are very close friends but don't live nearby and we see them only 4 times a year on average. we've not said anything to them but would you still use this name? what is the right thing to do..?

She's mean, why would she do that?

i ws going to carry on but mum told me everyone would think i had copied

but tbh they probably wouldnt have

you fell out over a name?no regrets then?

I've got an Esme!

Irrelevant, I know.

I'd still use it if my friend had picked it...

don't mean to state obvious but what if you had stuck with original name.fast forward to school meet another same name

what would you do
how would you react

makes me think ofSATC Charlotte's baby name got "stolen"

fall out with them?
stop talking

what irks so much

is it the perceived betrayl or use of the name

can you really expect exclusive 1st dibs on a name

i never reallyliked her anyway

aye well that explains it, she was a dobber who just got worse

I told my MIL when i was pg with ds2,if the baby was a girl we would call her Megan,always loved it.

She gets a god awful ugly mutt Airdale Terrier and calls it bloody Megan.

Never said a word to her until ds2 arrived,said i was glad he was a boy as she had "stolen" my girls name.

She said well if you had had a girl i wouldn't have minded you using the name too

Twattery indeed!!

Use it. Esme is a georgeous name and its not like you see them that often. Plus, when they are older they will love the fact that they share a name! Good luck x

The 2 little girls will love having the same name when they get older, honest

We have always kept the names we have in mind 'secret' until the baby is born, mainly so people won't pass judgement and say rude things but also I suppose so someone doesn't 'nick' our name. It can work the other way tho as someone could pick 'your' name without knowing you were thinking of it! When we were expecting ds we had a girls name in mind and never told anyone but a good friend has since picked a very similar name for her dd born recently. It put us off picking that name this time for our dd (to be born soon). We have picked something else which fortunately I like better than the other name anyway. We do know someone with a dd of the same name but we hardly ever see her and her dd would be much older so don't think it matters so much. I don't think I would go for the same name as a close friend who we see alot and whose dc would be close in age for fear of looking like we 'copied' and it may also get confusing, but at the end of the day, unless you pick a really off the wall name, there is always going to be someone else with that name.

As people have said above, I think the likely scenarios are either that life may move you apart, or (better) that you will carry on seeing them and the shared name will be a bond that is hopefully fun.

The problem is the signal it sends out to them - it could sound as if you're thinking 'Well, it doesn't matter, because we don't see you often anyway.'

I think the answer is not to say anything now, while postpartum hormones are high and their little E. is new, but wait until you have your baby, when they'll be overcome with feeling pleased for you. When you tell them, make a big deal of what great good taste you both have, how you think it will be fun for two Es to meet up etc. - in other words, make it clear you see them as a big part of your life.

Ring her and say it is a coincidence but that was the name you and your dh had decided on and as it was hard to decide, and you're both quite sure, you won't change because of her child. Just to let her know that she didn't inspire you. That'd be what would annoy me, if she was thinking "they admire me so much they copied my name".

use it!
your esme will be completely different from their esme - if you see what I mean...

my boys names are as common as muck but to me me no-one else inhabits those names like they do!

"your esme will be completely different from their esme - if you see what I mean"

exactly. That's partly why I thought it might be a good idea to wait until yours is born before telling them your choice, by which time they'll see their Esme as her own person (I'm sure they already do, but in a couple of months' time all the more).

you could always call her esmerelda and then esme for short ... more unusual then and dd gets to chose

both are beatuful names

when SIL and i were both pregnant with our firsts she blurted out the name she had chosen for her DC if it was a girl and the first name was incrediably similar and the second name was exaclty the same as our one and only option for a DD. she suggested that whoever has their DC first got the name and we disagreed and said that if we had DD we would be going with the name regardless. Any this caused a little tension but all worked out ok as we had DS and she had DD. Needless to say we didn't discuss names AT ALL when pregnant again least year!!

I guess what i am trying to say is if you have your heart set on a name then stick with it - you will only feel a twinge of resentment in the future.

Oooh, Esme. Nice! I would tell them that was your planned name too and gauge their reaction. Or even just speak to them outright about it and see what they think? I had to hold my breath twice last year as my two close girlfriends were also having babies (2 months between each of us!) and everytime they called to announce the baby I had to hope they hadn't chosen our name. I make it a policy to not tell anyone the name we are thinking of incase someone says, 'Oooh no, that reminds me of that Tumshie from down the road...' and puts me off. Tumshie is a scots word for a turnip by the way!

Esme, not Misty. Personally.