Regretting the name we gave our baby

[Ineedtotalkaboutthis]

Hi everyone,

First of all, I'm Spanish and I live in Spain (this is an important detail).
My husband and I decided to call our daughter Alexandra. In Spain, the usual Spanish version of this name is Alejandra. While Alexandra isn't unheard of, Alejandra is by far the more traditional and common version.

She has just turned one and the problem is that, from time to time, people in general and even some of our relatives, call her Alejandra by mistake and although they inmediately correct themselves without me telling them it makes me sad to think that my daughter might have to deal with this for the rest of her life.

Lately I've started wondering whether we made a mistake choosing this name.
We lived abroad for several years and have friends from all over the world, so Alexandra felt like a more international choice. We also absolutely loved the nickname Alex, which was another big reason we chose it.

So my question is: if you were in my position, would you do anything about it, or is this just something we should accept and move on from?

And for anyone who has a name that people constantly confuse with another version or variation, how does it make you feel? Do you dislike your name because of it, or does it not really bother you?

You're really overthinking it,this is a non issue. We have a similar situation with our child and just accept it.

Accept it. Move on.

I'm interested - are you introducing her as/calling her Alexandra day-to-day, rather than Alex? You say you like Alex, so I assumed you'd use that in general conversation - which I think would put the issue to bed, because Alex isn't a nickname for Alejandra as far as I know (the only Alejandra I know is nicknamed Al/Ale, anyway).

If not and you're using her full name all the time then yeah I think it's just one of those things - if there's a more common version of a name people are probably going to default to it, but I don't think it's an awful experience for a child to have and I would just let it be for now. Family and close friends will get used to it eventually - she's only tiny still - and everyone else isn't that important/she'll get old enough to correct them herself!

(Caveat is, obviously, if you've since decided you preferred Alejandra, in which case I think I'd change it. But doesn't sound like that's the case, so I'd just carry on as you are :) )

I have a name that although very straightforward, is almost impossible for anyone outside my own country to read/say/spell, for example, a name like Niamh.
I think you are in a tricky position because in the country you live, the name is pronounced differently, similar to Anastasia in the UK or Russia. I think I'd be inclined to call her Alex outside the home/at school etc so at least people get that correct.
I don't agree at all it is a non-issue - I've had 50+ years of correcting my name and it's deeply fucking irritating.

This just wouldn’t bother me. She’s 1 she’s knows her name already. I really wouldn’t be changing it. Especially as you love it.

I quite often get called by a more common variant of my name though not by family. Both names exist separately in English with one letter different - like Anna/Anne though not that. For my name one of the variants is much more common.

I know what my name is, I like my name, and I answer to both!

She’ll answer to both, it’s not big deal.

My name has always been mistaken for a Spanish name. It’s ok.

Thanks all for your replies. I agree I'm maybe overthinking it a bit too much. My big fear was precisely what @MurielTheTerrible has mentioned that she will find exhausting to be correcting people all the time.

BUT as @Jellybean23 and @AmaryllisNightAndDay has said, maybe in this case, because Alejandra/Alexandra are that similar she will answer to both the names without that feeling of tiredness.

Also, to answer to @scoopsahoooy, yeah, we´re calling her Alex around other people. And you are also right it´s the same nickname that Alejandra. In fact they will call her Ale too, because where I live some people find it hard to pronounce that x at the end of the word.

Thanks again to everyone, you´ve given me peace of mind

She won't need to correct people,they aren't calling her the wrong name,they're using her name in their language.

Does it actually bother you that people call her Alejandra? Our kids have always been called different names by different family members as some of my husbands family are from a different country. It hasn’t caused any issues at all. I quite like it. It’s a nice link to their heritage. Both Alexandra and Alejandra are lovely and are very similar.

I disagree with the majority. I think you were wrong to give her a name with a sound that isn't natural to many native speakers and it's hardly surprising they have nativised the name to change the X to a J. Just like if you'd raised her in England and called her Alejandra - 8/10 native English speakers would pronounce it wrong and even if they did attempt the J sound it wouldn't be a proper Spanish inflection.
I don't think you can change it now but it was badly thought out.

I have Spanish/English children the two sides of the family, including DH their father and I, use the correct pronunciation for their language, the children just accept it as normal.

I don't think you need to change it. Think of it as a pronunciation difference rather than the "wrong" name. I know an Elizabeth whose English mum pronounces it the English way and her French dad pronounces it the French way (El-ees-a-bett). She happily answers to both!

I have a name like this. My name has an A on the end but the typical UK version does not. Think Louisa and Louise but not that! It is annoying but I correct people and then they say it right. It's not a big deal for me. It bothers my dh more actually!

I wouldn't worry my GS has a Spanish name but lives in the UK many people get it wrong at first it hasn't bothered him at all and he says he likes his name

Completely fine, I've known Alejandros that go by Alex. I've not known an Alexandra with the X pronounced as J but then you have names like Xaviera and so on. Think it's totally fine family affectionately calling her Alejandra, both are beautiful names.

I wouldn’t worry, my friend called her daughter a name pronounced completely differently in England and in her native language, she accepts both. It’s not a mispronunciation really to me, it’s more like an adoption of the name into people’s own language or accent. If your daughter minds later she can tell everyone.

I am English and my parents gave me a foreign name with a foreign spelling. People can rarely pronounce it or spell it easily nd I’ve had people call me the wrong name for years. It doesn’t bother me in the slightest. It certainly doesn’t ‘exhaust’ me to have to correct people. It’s a lovely name and it’s always been a great talking point.

Hi. You are way overthinking.
I think it's great.
She will be bilingual and so is her name!

Embrace it.
X

I'd just accept that her Spanish family call her Aljandra or Alexandra interchangeably, and her English family call her Alexandra. So nn Ali or Alex.

Hoenstly, I'd try and chill and just accept it as a nickname.

DS is Xavier. Italian relative only ever calls his Za-vi-air instead of Zay-vee-ur. It's special in its own way

At 1 this is a non issue.
If it bothers HER when she is older she can choose her own nickname (not that Alexandra needs one as it is a great name) or correct people.

My name ends in a ‘e’ but it’s common in Spain and other countries for it to end in ‘a’ (I have lived in several European countries and went to a Spanish school), I answer to either the e or a version. I do an activity led my a Ukrainian teacher who always says the a version, it doesn’t bother me. Not sure if it ever bothered my mum that at times my name got changed.

My name has a different pronunciation in Arab countries. I used to work with students in UAE and I loved hearing their pronunciation. As long as you call her Alexandra at home, she'll be used to it.

Maybe you should introduce her to other people as Alex.

My name is German and very similar to an English version, I get called the English version all the time. The actual name has a sound that isn’t really used in the English language, so even when it’s said the way it’s spelt, people usually still don’t get it ‘right’.
It doesn’t bother me at all, it did when I was a moody teenager, though!