does the dad have to help pick my baby's name?

[maithkano]

hi guys my baby daddy is not in the picture and im trying to figure out names for my baby (a girl) and I dont want to ask him if he wants to help name her but I also dont want to regret it. do you think I should ask him his thoughts or just pick whatever I like?

You have all the responsibility (and all the joy) here. Don't involve him - it's entirely your choice.

If he’s not in the picture, if he wants nothing to do with the baby, then no, pick it yourself. If he wants to be involved with the baby but not you, maybe pick 2 you love and ask which he prefers, if he says none, then ignore him.

Pick what you like and make sure your daughter has your surname. You don’t have to ask his opinion.

And your surname obviously.

Don't ask him?

🙄

She's not just 'my' baby though is she. Takes two to tango and all of that.

Eh? Are you the OP?
Yeh it takes two to tango but only one gets left holding the result.
If he’s not in the picture and has no intention of providing support or care then you owe him fuck all. And the only thing you will regret is giving him any say over the decisions you make for your child when he inevitably disappears.

Your baby, your choice of name and absolutely your surname.

Bon chance!

Unless he’s going to be an active co-parent then fuck him - you pick the name.

Dont let him off financially though. Make sure you get a claim in.

He's made it clear he doesn't want to be involved, therefore he doesn't get an opinion on the name.

Why on earth would you regret not asking a man you're no longer involved with if he wants to name your baby? Are you under the impression that you need to consult him in order for him to pay child maintenance or something?

Your baby, your choice of name and absolutely your surname.

Baby daddy YABU. Try 'sperm donor' or 'manchild'

Please don't refer to him as 'baby daddy' it sounds so casual for something so serious.
If this were me a father not wanting anything to do with the child he helped make would get absolutely no say in anything do with my baby.
He isn't worthy to have a say in something as lovely as choosing a precious baby's name and no way would he be on the birth certificate either.

Choose a name that you like and give the baby your surname x

@OneRedFinch , Did you read the OP? Which part of 'not in the picture' do you not understand?

You’re growing the baby so you choose the name, this advice whether he is in the picture or not!
the only caveat- if he is a bastard who might pop up and throw some control your way later like my ex, then you might give dads surname as an extra middle name to avoid dad forcing you to double barrel it later

Why would you regret not asking a man who wasn’t in the picture what his thoughts on names were?

Have you asked him what car seat he thinks is safest or whether you should buy some glass bottles because some people think the plastic ones are not safe or how you are going to cool down the baby’s room if there is another heatwave? You are going to be bringing up this baby for the next two decades. There’s going to be countless decisions that you have to make.

No

the only caveat- if he is a bastard who might pop up and throw some control your way later like my ex, then you might give dads surname as an extra middle name to avoid dad forcing you to double barrel it later
He'll turn up playing nice to get parental leave, insist on his choice of name and his surname then disappear again.

You do what you think is right.
If I were you though the way you tell it there's no way I would ask the baby daddy if they had a preference because if they're not in baby's life now, why should they have that privilege?
BTW some men aren't bothered by a name, my DH had no preference with our three, he was very happy to agree with whatever I liked, but my DH doesn't have an ounce of control issues, that's just the way he is.