Middle name regret

[Mabil]

I regret giving my son the middle name James.

At the time because we were giving him an uncommon first name ( a sort of real old man name!) I thought it would be better to stick with a very classic middle name so his name wasn't too much overall. It is a family name but I've unfortunately since having him had a lot of trouble with family which probably hasn't helped.

Now I feel like his name is just so plain overall compared to his sister whose name just looks so beautiful all together.

I don't want to share his exact first name but think Clarence/ Percival/ Edmund
I fancied Wilfred as a middle name but thought it might be too much so used James instead but now regret it

James was a good choice. You're right that he might want to use it if his first name isn't to his taste. Apart from that, people don't even know other people's middle names so it really doesn't matter. One of my kids doesn't even have one.

Just out of curiosity, genuine…why don’t you want to share the exact first name? It’s not like it’s a unique identifier, I say this as someone who has a nephew (and an uncle in his 60s called Percival) called Percival. I doubt you will be able to figure out who based on the name (millions of them) even if I tell you Percival Ethan. Anyway if it is Percival, I think it’s cute, my uncle we call him uncle Percy and my nephew it’s just full Percival, so Percival James has a nice ring to it.

I'd only be regretting a middle name if I'd chosen something outlandish or made up. James is a classic name. I really like it.
It's a middle name - totally inconsequential in the scheme of anything.

I think the best thing about middle names is that no-one really cares. Is it about the name being connected with family, or did you feel pressured into choosing or not choosing something?

Remember that he can change his name or use any name or name combination in adulthood - I monitor a regular mandatory training course at work where people are automatically registered with their formal HR details, and there are some people in my team who are referred to differently day to day. Not just nicknames but completely different.

Just because then if you search his name it may come up in searches etc
If you search my daughter's first name and.middle name it brings up a Mumsnet baby names thread I did choosing her name! I didn't want him to find a more negative thread in the future

Aaahh I get you

For what it’s worth, I think James is a lovely name. I don’t use my middle name, even though I like it. It’s on some official stuff (birth certificate, NHS etc) but I don’t use it day to day. Very few people are aware I even have a middle name.

Middle names really aren’t used that much except on official forms, it’s not like you need to use it regularly it’s really not something you need to worry about.

Nobody uses the middle name.

Anyway James is an absolutely rock solid gorgeous, classic and traditional fabulous name.

James is classic. I wouldn't worry. My two are Elizabeth (after the Queen) and Thomas (another standard) He'll have the choice to include/exclude it anyway.

James is very popular as a middle name. Nobody other than you will connect it with a member of your family.

If the name is something like Englebert James Humperdinck then the James will help even the name out, and most people don't use their middle name anyway.

It's not really about the name is it?

James in fine.

I was expecting something creepy like rolf or Jimmy.. Or levi? Wayne? Dr Harold?

It could be so much worse

James is fine and given your description of his first name - he may thank you in the future of the option of James, rather than another 'over the top' name

It's a classic please don't worry

I think your rationale for picking James in the first place was sound so I would try not to keep revisiting it. It’s easier for a girl to carry off a really unusual name, he might be glad of a solid James in there! If he’s little enough you could always add in the Wilfred I suppose if this is going to bother you forever. Agree the family feud is likely colouring your thoughts on this though so don’t be too hasty.

if the child is under 12 months change it to Wilfred otherwise leave it. Wilfred isn't unusual and although I like James as a first name it's overused as a middle name.