Can nicknames be avoided?

[KJChester]

Is it possible to avoid others calling your young child by a nickname/shortening? I know that nicknames can't be avoided if the child reaches a certain age and prefers one, but I'm only referring to when the child is a baby and toddler. We like the name Cassandra but not the nicknames Cassie and Sandra. There are also other names that we liked but won't consider because the common nicknames are awful. I really don't see the point of nicknames in general. They often are not as nice as the full name. (I know that what I'm referring to are technically called diminutives, but it's easier to say nicknames as everyone will know what I mean.)

I think it helps if you always refer to your baby around others as their full name.

We chose names that can’t be shortened and then when they were babies it felt too harsh for these tiny people so DH and I started adding a “y” on the end (think Sammy instead of Sam as an example). Anyway in both cases it stuck so we’ve done that to ourselves ha ha. They can drop the y when they want.

Most people would call her what you call her. Worst case can be avoided by saying her names Cassandra not Cassie. Or before anyone has a chance to nick name even before they’re born tell everyone that’s what you want

I think you'll have to be willing to tell people not to use the shortened forms. My husband dislikes the common shortening of his name, he'll mention briefly that he prefers "FullName" but doesn't like correcting people; I'm surprised at how many people persist with the abreviation. Only if you're comfortable repeatedly correcting people will you have everyone calling your daughter by the name you've chosen.

I call small children by the name that the parent introduces them as. I would find it mildly impolite to call a baby Cassie when the mum has introduced her as Cassandra.

We have a William and no one calls him Will (because we don’t). However, he’s only 4. I suspect when his older his friends might call him Will which wouldn’t particularly bother us. I think you can control it when they’re little. What if she prefers Cassie when she’s older? Would that still bother you?

No, diminutives can’t be avoided. You can insist as much as you want but nearly everyone I have ever met in 60 years has had their name, if it is more than one syllable, shortened by their family/friends.
Your daughter might buck the trend, but generally it will just happen.
In my opinion, best way to avoid it is that you choose the derivative first. One you can live with.

I don't like Cassie but would keep that opinion to myself. It wouldn't bother me because it's her name and would be her choice. It only bothers me when others decide for someone. Another poster mentioned that many still call her husband by the shortening of his name even after he has mentioned that he dislikes it. It would bother me if others didn't respect her preference (whether that's Cassandra, Cassie, Sandra, or something else entirely).

It's a 3 syllable name so it's likely to be shortened by friends, if you don't like any of the diminutives of Cassandra then I would avoid it. Cass is a cool name though!
I have a name that is almost always shortened with many options and I've always been known by the full name, at my own choice. But I guess when I was very young it was because my parents introduced me with the full name.

Short answer, no you can’t control every single person your daughter comes into contact with.

Cassandra is a great name but definitely has a dramatic/mature feel to it so don’t be surprised if people shorten it in her younger years.

I would choose a name you are happy with either way.

OP, you can tell people when she’s young, “Her name’s Cassandra, not Cassie”, and that’s fine when she’s little, but I guarantee she’ll be called some diminutive later on by her friends. If you manage to keep her name “whole” through KS1, you’ll be doing well: as a teenager, you won’t stand a chance. I call my son by a diminutive of his name; his friends call him by a different diminutive (Think Bob and Rob). Nothing I can do about it, especially as his wife refers to him by the other name!

I know someone whose legal name is Kassi (actual spelling). It's not short for anything. I've always thought that was a bit of an odd pick. After reading this thread, I'm now wondering if she ever gets called Kassandra by people who are unaware that she doesn't have the full form of the name.

I don’t think a Cassandra would routinely get called Cassie against her will. Neither are common enough for that, I don’t think. I know a Christopher (who prefers Christopher) and I think because Chris is SO common he does struggle with people assuming he’s a Chris. I think if you really like Cassandra then it’d be fine based on what you’ve said.

You can call your daughter Cassandra for the whole of her life.
Most family members will take your lead.

So it will only be Cassandra's own friends who use nick names and Cassandra will be able to have full veto of her name.

As others have said, you can only do this if you're comfortable correcting people if/when they shorten it. But it can be done.

I love the name Benjamin and the diminutive Benji but I know I don't have the confidence necessary to say "He's Benji, not Ben".

I would just say that what matters to you may well change once your baby is here and you've got to know them. You'll find things suitable then better than you anticipated or that new names etc emerge through affection and play.

My son has a name that is commonly shortened to 2 different names. We've always called him the proper name and so has everyone else.

Just be firm and point their name out to people right from the start.

When my DC were small I'd just correct people, so if someone said "Josh" I'd finish the name. They usually got the hint. If they didn't I'd just politely tell them "he's Joshua actually. Most of his friends started calling him Josh but he doesn't have s preference so will answer to either. Plus Squasie, Joshie, Schwa and sausage

I did the same with DS1, although his name gets shortened less often. He corrects people himself now, and if they persist then he ignores them.

Is it possible to avoid others calling your young child by a nickname/shortening? Not really.
You can insist on Cassandra and most people will comply, but Cass or Cassie are such obvious diminutives that you won't avoid them completely.

You look a bit like 'that' person when you correct them.

(I have a name with a similar sort of obvious diminutive. My parents insisted on the full name at all times. Only one person persisted with a diminutive.
As an adult, only the people who knew me as a child use the full name.)

If he’s a boy then as soon as he’s at secondary or on the football pitch he’ll end up with a nn. My cousin has a short traditional name which doesn’t have an obvious nickname but his surname ended “….pie” do he became known as Pie 🥧 🤦🏻‍♀️

My parents gave me a name that can't be shortened for this reason and I don't like my name and have no flexibility to use a diminutive.

Not true.

Most do, @imnotwhoyouthinkiam . Long names get shortened, short ones get lengthened, common ones get nicknames.

I named my daughter a name partly because it has a lot of ‘nickname’ possibilities and I thought we would eventually naturally start using one. She’s now 8 and still has the full name version with everyone because we never started using a nickname and neither did anyone else. I did once have to ask someone not to call her one nickname because it was the one that my mum specifically asked that we didn’t use when she was a baby, so I didn’t want that one to ‘stick.’ She sometimes writes a nickname on pictures she does at holiday clubs etc but when I ask her if she wants me to call her that name she says no - it’s just quicker to write! So yes it is definitely possible to keep the ‘proper’ name.

It's possible but even you had one person try to use one and your DD sometimes uses one. @Iloveagoodnap .

My children have long, “foreign” names. All have obvious shorter, more English-sounding diminutives. My older two (KS1) generally get called by their full names by everyone other than their English great grandparents. The youngest’s name is, apparently, a little bit more of a stretch for English speakers as most people automatically shorten it. I wasn’t expecting that as I didn’t feel it was more challenging and no one did it with the big siblings.

I think Cassandra would be fine, but would expect nicknames to start to creep in at school.

Er? How can my experience be “not true”? 😂😂😂