How to respond to name criticism? Older child

[changename87]

Hi,
Posting here as name related and I'm not sure how I should have responded.
Firstly my child is 12 .
She has what is perhaps to some considered slightly more upper class name. But honestly it's just a traditional name.
Think along the lines of Tabitha , Penelope , Harriet , Lucinda in style. ( I'm not putting the name for privacy)

So I work in a very middle class area public facing and we deal with families.
I have a colleague who today was making jokes about some of the posher parents who contact us and used my child's name as a typical posh name.
I did point out quickly that it was DD name.
But still she wouldn't let up on it. She was basically really rude to point others in office quickly jumped in saying how they had always liked said name.
I basically left it, just said it was a name I had always loved. and ignored her.

My DD has always loved her name. gets a lot of complements on it and although of course nobody likes all names nobody has ever been rude to my face.
I am now quite upset and no idea how to approach this. I will no doubt do or say anything at all. But quietly dislike this person going forward.
I also don't like colleagues daughters name myself ( think it's rather low class actually) but I would never in a million years comment.
This is a professional setting btw.
Anyone else had this? I'm not a hormonal new mum and I'm still upset!

Duplicate

Stop blaming your hormones. Your colleague was rude.

Don't take it personally, some names do generate an inference of class and are just used as an example. You and DD like it, colleague said it's posh, that's all.

Low class/ middle class names and middle class jobs, I’m glad I’m in Scotland as I never come across anyone talking about class.

She was rude to keep going on but we all like and dislike different names. It's not wrong of her to dislike your child's name and there's certainly no need for you to be upset by it.

You lost my sympathy when you described the colleague's child's name as "low class" - makes you just as bad as her.

I only hear it on MN.

If you don't like her taste then why does it matter that she doesn't like yours? I don't give a shiny shit if little Voodoo's mum thinks my kid's names are awful.

Tbh, if she’s given her child a name you dislike, you probably should be pleased that your child’s name is not to her taste. Take it as a compliment!

Wouldn’t bother me. My child has a name which gets used as a byword for a ‘type’ and I don’t care. You’re different people.
She shouldn’t have carried on after you said you’d used the name though.

Honestly just let it go. She was rude but why do you care so much?

Why do you care? She has different tastes to you, thankfully!

When someone on here hates my kids’ names I’m always relieved when I see what names they love, because i dislike those. So I wouldn’t want them to like my names!

Whatever you name your child, someone won’t like it and at some point they will be teased by someone for it.

Make yourself a decent cup of tea and let this go 🙌🏻

It possibly popped out of her mouth the way that unfortunate references to 'making me pull my hair out' come out of mine when I'm talking to someone bald, or 'blindingly obvious' in front of my visually impaired brother.

Foot, mouth.

I think you’re upset because she verbalised her classism. You may be keeping yours in your head but you are the same as her, in that you have specific ideas about class and the status of names. “Low” class is really offensive. No one is of lower importance than anyone else. It’s 2026, we shouldn’t be thinking this way and, when we do, we should challenge ourselves. I’m not saying I haven’t had unkind thoughts about people’s choices but I do like to stop and check myself. Change won’t happen, unless people start to question their own views. Asking myself, “Why do I think that?” is really useful.

You’re not wrong to be upset, as she was really rude. It’s always upsetting when someone takes the piss out of something that’s important to us. My kids’ names start with the same letter and, a few times over the years, people have commented about how tacky they think it is to give siblings names with the same initial. Not directed at me, so similar situation to you, and I was a bit annoyed but tried not to hold on to it. People will always have opinions and, as we are all different, everyone will be the target of someone else’s snobbery at one time or another. We can help by challenging our own snobberies, so at least we’re not the ones being unkind.

She doesn’t like your daughter’s name, you don’t like her kids name, you think her kid has a “low class” name and she thinks your kid has a posh twat name, who cares.

Don’t say anything, you don’t really need her to like it. Others will have seen she was not tactful and noted it.

You are making a mountain out of a mole hill.
Op, everyone loves different names, otherwise we would all have the same name!

You know the colleague was rude and so do other coworkers.

You admitted to not liking the rude person's child's name so surely you know that not liking a name is not a personal attack on the so named child.

She's tactless. Tactful people are popular and tactless people aren't.
Reminds me of a school mum running over to tell me another pregnant mum was worrying her ds would be born ginger. My dd is ginger as she knew as her dd had played with her. She then told me the same thing the next day. Weird.
Dd now 18 and has never been bullied over it. Always been popular. Young people don't care about red hair like this mum.

I agree op: I don't like them either.

I say so on these threads because I feel that is the whole point of name threads, but would never, ever say it to someone about their own child's name.

That's just super rude of her not to back off and apologise.

What you do? Don't stoop to her level. No action needed. Your DD's name sounds lovely IMO - I like all the examples you gave.

Ignore her OP. It would be different if she were slagging off your daughter’s name to her face, but she’s just got poor social skills and is a bit of a prat. It’s probably one of those situations where you majorly fuck up in something you say and can’t take it back, so you power through rather than having to give a grovelling apology. Don’t give it another thought.

Sorry OP, I’m going to need both names to make a judgement; her child’s and yours…

I await your response 🥰

Was understanding till you said her daughter has a low class name. No need.

Why are MN obsessed with class?

It doesn't matter if someone else doesn't like it. We had a Co worker name her child hunter which is awful it's literally an animal killer. I would never say to her. Just ignore her and go about your business