Can someone explain the term ‘try hard’ in the context of baby names.

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As the title says. I’m reading the threads and someone always uses the term ‘try hard’ to give their opinion on a name. I genuinely don’t know what this means?

it seems to be a derogatory term or even a euphemism?

I get if you love, like, dislike a name. I also appreciate names considered classics or historically posh etc but try hard I just don’t understand.

just curious

Because it is a boy's name. That has randomly (because of a couple of celebrities) been used for girls and a few fools are now copying them. It could have been Brian or Mark or Darren or John but it happened to be James. All would be silly on a girl.

It's says more about the person that says it, than it does about the child's name.

If someone asked me to try hard to give an opinion on a name, I would make an effort to look up the meaning of it, see whether it goes well with the surname and check if the initials spell something funny (or dodgy), that sort of thing.

I don't see it like this at all. I read it as people trying really hard to come up with 'unique' baby names. Because the worse thing that could happen to them is choosing a name that lots of people like and is therefore is 'popular'. The horror of popularity!

They seemed to have failed to realise that by choosing a 'unique' name they are following the 'popular' trend of our time.

This phenomena has coined the term ' eccentric sheep' to refer to the parents.

I thought of it as trying to be unique when not needed. Spelling names unusually or wrongly.
Example Wynter Rose
Not my cup of tea but I dont really care what you call your child

I think they mean pretentious - which can mean too unusal but often has a huge class element to it - ie sneering at lower class names.

This is my understanding

Better beige than screaming look at me, inflicting an attention seeking name on an innocent child.

I suppose at this moment in time they are boys names but they might not be in the future? There's a definite trend of going for more gender neutral names around here.

I actually do know a real life Ptolemy. And a Horatio. I think those are a bit 'look at us, we are such fabulous unique parents' but tbf the parents involved in both those specific cases are a bit twattish. One of them for example, refuses to engage with the wife of another mutual friend because she's 'from the Colonies' (actual quote).

So, that's my association if I see those names mentioned.

No, it really is not.

It is going to cause various problems and will be the sort of name that people snigger at behind doors.

That is without taking all the gender bender stuff into account.

There will be a fair proportion who will think she is a transman (woman pretending to be a man) or if she is not particularly feminine in looks-maybe tall and large-a real man who happens to resemble a woman,

It's a thoughtless thing to do and usually because the parents are desperate to be a bit different. They can't see any other way of achieving it other than through the name they give their child.

It's almost always girls that are saddled with this shite.

Those same parents won't call their son, Brenda, Saffron or Debbie-Louise.

I think it’s a fairly recent thing that people try to convey something about themselves by what they name their child. We’re intellectual / free spirits / love rock music etc. I think that’s what makes some people raise an eyebrow. Most kids desperately rebel against their parents idea of who they are as soon as they’re old enough, so calling your kid something which reflects your own priorities or impression of yourself is kind of self centred or vain and indeed trying a bit too hard to declare “I’m massively clever and posh cos I’ve heard some Greek mythology”

Yes I think some people think frilly is a bit try-hard for girls but I rather like a frilly name - especially if it has a more austere/masculine sound married to a prettier ending, like Henrietta.

Though that's not a blanket rule: I did meet a Donalda which I wasn't keen on!

It is derogatory. Just ignore them.

Name your baby what you like. Just be mindful of them potentially getting made fun of or it being very common.

I was born in the 80’s and my name is very common. In kindergarten through 6th grade there was so many girls with the same name we had use our middle names.

To me it means trying so hard to be unique/ quirky/ different that it ends up sounding ridiculous.

Not only arseholes but not so high up the social tree as they think they are. I always imagine they are the sort who call their daughters Callendra and Persimmon and their sons Henry.

As people are not plaster saints and don't have wonderful good, non judgemental thoughts, it is what many, many people think.

We often take names for shorthand about a child's family, right or wrong and for that for reason many people will think exactly what you say in your first paragraph,

Should they do so?

No, they shouldn't but they will.

I think that it’s more middle class people trying to appear upper class, or at least ‘achingly cool’.

It's the desperate need to be unique, rather than just picking a name you both like. The ones that are particularly amusing are the ones where someone wants to use a name from another country because one of their great grandparents (who they never met) came from there - they've never visited that country, they don't speak the language, they don't follow any of the customs, but they want to honour their long dead relative. No you don't - you just think it will make you seem you have a more exotic background than you do.

I don't associate with people who snigger behind closed doors at peoples names, and I would judge that behaviour harshly in a professional environment.

I live in a poncy lefty liberal area I 100% wouldn't raise an eyebrow at a boy Saffron. There's a definite shift towards gender neutral names too for younger kids here too.

My son has a bit of an out there name and I admit it might be a problem in a rough school, it would have been in the school I went to, but I'm not going to send him to a shit secondary school.

Well, that's great but, to be fair, the term "behind closed doors" does rather suggest that you don't know what goes behind them.

It's super that you would not raise an eyebrow at a boy named Brenda, Saffron or Debbie Louise-it really is-but I am as sure as can be that for every one of you, there will be a hundred raised eyebrows.

@BerryTwister , When a baby is born no one knows what their capabilities might be. They might be an athlete with couch potato parents, or a mathematician with innumerate parents, or a musician with tone deaf parents, or a best selling author with illiterate parents. By giving them a specific type of name, it puts them in a perceived category, making it harder for them to fulfil their potential
Those outcomes are highly unlikely. Your chances of being successful in those careers will to a large degree depend on your genes and parental support.

@MysteryNameChange , James for a girl is not lovely. The name is a boy's name and hasn't been out of the top 100 in the past 120 years.

But why on earth shouldn’t those parents use a beautiful name from their grandparents’ culture??

Surely more name diversity is a good thing. A name like Matteo or Katja are much more interesting and memorable than Matt or Kate!!

I love beautiful names that are less common And I’m proud to have ‘tried hard’ naming my children!

@MysteryNameChange Aso, just to add-it's great too that you will be sending your son to a nice school where his name won't be a problem, although you concede it could be a problem in a "rough" or "shit secondary school"

BTW- a bit of judging going on there-none of us are immune.

However, are you sure that he isn't going to end up working with these "rough" types who went to " shit" schools or, heaven forfend, end up in prison.

You won't be able to keep him away from "rough" types all his life because he may not spend his life in what you refer to as a "poncey liberal area."

Now, see, that’s where we differ. To me, those names sound like the medication that’s prescribed to cure those medical conditions.