Name regret what to do…

[NameIDK]

I have a 7m old baby boy called Ben.
Benjamin on the BC, but the trouble is I HATE the name Benjamin (but do like Ben). At the dr - the other day got Benjamin-ed multiple times. Cringing inside. It’s lesson in you should like all forms of a name and also I’m now mad at putting the long traditional name on BC when I had no intention of using it.
I know you can change names within a year without it being such a problem. For changing I feel it’s now or never as he’ll start recognising his name soon.
I wish I’d picked something more Scottish (we are Scottish).
I had a name wobble before at 1w old and also 5 m. My DH/my parents convinced me to stick. Basically every time I’m shattered I fixate on the name. Not PND - I’m happy otherwise. We were going to go with Euan and then late on in pregnancy I thought of Ben and we went with it.
I’m not sure what I’m asking…love for name Benjamin? Should I apply to change BC just to Ben - I am thinking this is maybe the best option? Should I change to Euan, Finlay or Ruaridh?
Also DC1 is Hamish - 3yo. The name change would be confusing for him.
When I had a wobble before, in the end I decided if I wasn’t sure and debating names rather than thinking I definitely want to change to X, then I probably shouldn’t t do it. But I’m still keep coming back to it. Help!

What is dad's opinion?

I can see why you want a more Scottish name when you have a Hamish already, but given he is now 7 months old, if you feel hugely strongly get the BC changed to just Ben. You can just register him at the GP and elsewhere with Ben and leave the BC alone too.

He also is not as keen on Benjamin, but not got such strong opinions, so wouldn’t bother to change it. He feels a little guilty because at a few hours old he said to me “so he’s called Ben then?” And then I didn’t answer for 10 seconds and said yes. I wish we’d just waited to announce the name!
My mum also says if you want to change it to whatever - Ben/Euan whatever then just do it.

I think Benjamin is a fabulous, classic name. Personally I prefer it to Ben, but both are lovely. You don’t need to change his birth certificate to update his name with GP surgery etc. Plenty of people go by a ‘known as’ name that differs somewhat from their legal first name. I think it would be preferable to have the option of using the ‘full’ first name of Benjamin (as opposed to Ben, which is more of a nickname) when he is applying for jobs or in other formal settings in the future. My feeling is that you’ve kept his options open and done the right thing by putting Benjamin rather than Ben on his birth certificate, even if he goes by Ben in day to day life.

Your call of course, just my thoughts.

If you want to change it, I wouldn't give it a second thought. Just go ahead.

Just put Ben on all his forms etc? My son has an abbreviated name - his full name is very rarely used. Usually at the airport because it’s on his passport. But on all forms for nhs, school, etc I only ever put the abbreviation.

Changing a name by deed poll is super easy though if you have the consent of the father so it is an option if you want to do it.

You hate the name Benjamin.
Your husband is not keen on the name Benjamin.

It's one thing to prefer the shorter version of the name, but you cringe when you hear your son being called the name on his birth certificate.

If you and your husband are in agreement, I think you should change the name to Ben.

I much prefer Euan, especially as a brother to Hamish!

Ben is a little dull/boring in comparison - Euan is more memorable imo.

Change it to Ben. Think it will be too confusing for his brother (and himself!) if you go completely different at this age.

Change the spelling to Beinn or Bheinn. It doesn't get more Scottish.

I think change it to a Scottish name. Ben in the birth certificate feels a bit light next to Hamish.
And you don't come across as being particularly attached to Ben anyway.
I love Ruaridh personally.

My DS is the shortened version of his name everywhere now (in and out of school) and it rarely comes up as an issue.

It's fairly normal to meet adult Ben's. My work involves people all over the UK and Ben, Joe, Alex, Tom, Chris etc. often come up (rarely the full name).

I have a Benjamin who we call Ben . Obviously I think both names are fab

Just leave it. You’ll get used to it.

I love Benjamin (much prefer it to Euan) but it seems to be a marmite name. Could you change it to Benedict? Or as PP suggested a more Scottish spelling of Ben? You can't get more Scottish than Ben Nevis!

But if he is still a baby, change it now, to a name you both love. He'll have it for life. A friend did this when her baby was 10 months old, so at an age where her own name was recognisable to her. They never regretted the change.

FWIW I do think Scottish boys names are some of the coolest names ever. Ruaridh, Alexander, Alisdair, Cameron, Lachlan

We did similar.

Called dc a long name for best with no intention of ever really using it. It seemed better at the time and went well with the middle name we chose.

It is now really jarring when that name is read out in formal settings as we have absolutely never used it and the shortened version feels like the real name. I should have formalised the shortening in the first year really.

But as the dc get older they will happily correct and introduce themselves by the short name and it is a v rare issue now.

I think I would stick with Ben or change the long name to Benedict or Benwell or something. Not sure I would change completely if you love Ben.

When he’s an adult he might prefer to have a formal name especially in a working environment.

Just leave it alone.

I have never understood why people put a longer name on the BC if actually they intend to call the child a shorter version. FFS just use the shorter version from the off. I know a Danny and a Dan (neither are Daniel), and a Ben (not Benjamin) - makes so much more sense and less confusing when they are young. Anyone can change their name to anything they want longer or shorter when they are older, so just go with what you want to call him for now!

Just change it to Ben, nobody will notice or care or find it confusing. Changing it to some other random name would be confusing and unnecessary though.

I agree with all the stick with it/longer name posts in theory, but I can’t stop thinking about it and really feel I need to do something.

@AnnoyingAlarm yes, this is exactly how I feel. The name is jarring.
@Purplecatshopaholic I know! I’m an idiot!

@ToKittyornottoKitty I think you’re right.

I am used to Ben now. If I changed it to Euan/Finlay/Scotty McScottish, I’m worried I might forget and call him Ben anyway.

Thanks for all the replies.

Benjamin is a nice name, but you hate it, your DH is also not keen. Your son should have a name that at least one of his parents loves! Change it now while he’s still so young. Euan is great! Ruaridh is awesome!

I have a friend with a Ben. Just Ben. He still gets called Benjamin all the time. She is constantly going "its just Ben actually" I once heard someone explain to her in an over patient voice that "Ben is short for Benjamin ".. like she didn't know her sons name

So even if you change it. You will get Benjamin. Sorry.

I adore the name Ben, it’s beautiful.
100% change away from Benjamin though, as pp said, it’s not like you just don’t use it, you hate it… so definitely change it while it’s so easy in first 12 months. So sad for him otherwise to grow up with his parents hating his full name (will be used at his wedding, graduation and other important moments, not nice to think parents are cringing). I would hate to think my parents hated my name… so absolutely change it to short version.

if you do want to change it to something completely different then I also think you could get used to that, everyone would adapt, but I wouldn’t change to Finley personally. They’re a dime a dozen and just nowhere near as special. Also don’t love Euan but I guess it’s about what you like!