Loggerheads over baby names

[cc99xo]

Have you ever been at complete loggerheads over baby names with your DP? As in, absolutely no compromise on either side. How did you solve it?!

Me and my DP have completely different taste, I honestly don’t know how we’ll ever agree?

We’ve gone through practically a novel of (particularly) boys names and there’s not a single name we agree on - he despises my names and I also despise his 🙈

Girls names - he says doesn’t like any of mine but won’t even offer any suggestions just says “I don’t know what girls names I like” very helpful!?!

For boys in particular I love names such as Enzo, Teddy, Rocco, Luca - I guess more short, nickname type names and quite popular nowadays

He likes older names such as Victor and Michael - just names I absolutely do not like 😅

Any suggestions to how you compromised when it came to baby names?

You need to find an older name he likes that has a short, popular nickname that you like.

Edward or Theodore that can be shortened to Teddy?

Funnily enough, we discussed Theodore last night. He said he loves Theodore, I said fabulous because I love the name Teddy and I can use that as a nickname - but then he went in a huff saying how he doesn’t want to use Theodore if I’ll use the nickname Teddy as he hates Teddy 🙄

He genuinely is the least stubborn person I know but suddenly on this topic he is being painfully stubborn. I mean, the baby is already having his surname and a family middle name so I think he needs to be a bit more lenient

Do you have Italian heritage? The boys names you like have an Italian theme to them.
I like Michael. Its also one of the few names where I like shortened versions such ad Mike, Mick or Mikey.

He's already getting middle and last name so imo you should get to choose this one, give him 3 vetos and that's it.

Hugo comes to mind

@MrsMoastyToastyYes my fathers side is Italian although they’re just the names I genuinely like anyway 🥰

He says he wants his son to have a ‘strong’ name I’m sorry I just can’t look at my little newborn and think ‘Yep, that’s victor right there’ 😅

I'd also hate to have my child called Teddy. Or Victor, tbf.

You need to find a name you are both okay with, even if neither of you love it.

Alexander good strong traditional name with lots of nn potential, Alex, Lex, Xander.
Nathaniel nn Nate

He’s getting the middle and last and won’t compromise?

Tell him you can register the name alone (he can’t) and you will be giving the baby first, middle and last, all yours if he can’t start being a reasonable person.

BTW I would give the baby your last name anyway. Why his? You aren’t married.

I would be more concerned with the last name at this point, and give my baby my surname. Unless marriage is imminent.

We couldn't decide with DC1 yet the moment we saw him he looked like a certain name I suggested and DH loved it, so after months of arguing we both agreed instantly. I think he was so happy to be holding his son that he'd have said yes to any reasonable suggestion. You do have six weeks to decide after they're born too remember.

Even if, frankly. You can always change baby’s name after marriage.

How about
Arnold - Arnie
Alexander - Xander
Jenson - Sonny
Frederick - Freddie
Lawrence - Laurie
Vincent - Vinnie

Go with Theodore.

Sneak in Teddy when it's a done deal.

Pick your own girl name. Announce it when the baby is born. What's he going to do - argue in the delivery room?

The problem is he can't wrap his head around the fact there's going to be a baby. It's not real for him yet.

(Fwiw, I like his style of names more than yours but that's neither here nor there).

Say that he can choose the
first name if the baby has your choice of middle name and your last name.

Baby should have your surname OP.

WRT first names - DH and i struggled to agree on DD4s name. So we both sat and each wrote a loooong list of names we'd consent to in order of preference. When finished we swapped and read them out until a name popped up which was on both lists.

A few ideas

Theo
Max
Alfred nn Alfie
Joseph nn Joey
Albert nn Albie
Arthur nn Artie
Frederick nn Freddie
Robin nn Bobby
Jacob nn Jake
Rory
Toby
Luke
Reuben nn Roo
Milo
Jonah
Noah

We couldn’t agree so we decided whoever felt more strongly about girl names (you and my Dh) choose if we had a girl and the other decided if we had a boy (your dp and me). Luckily we had both and love all of their names.
Also worth remembering that they don’t need a name immediately so what feels right right now might not suit them when they are born.

I suspect that when he sees the tiny, tiny, scrunched up baby he will relent on a big, butch name because the two simply won’t go together

The baby should have YOUR surname.

Victor and Michael are both great.

You like Teddy, so Edward would really work all round, can be Eduardo in Italian (or French), too. It's a good strong name.

Also, you say DP not DH so DP's name doesn't get to be the surname automatically, you can call your baby whatever you like!

Baby should have your surname

How pregnant are you? If its early days I would take a break for a few weeks from discussing names. Write down names you like but don't speak them out loud. See if that helps

Sorry, I generally prefer your DP’s taste in names - as trendy names usually date badly. Plus babies won’t stay babies forever - not every 40 year old might appreciate having Teddy on his BC. I do really like Luca though, despite its trendiness (as it just sounds like the European version of traditional Luke? So I’m not sure why your DP dislikes it so much). And I do understand why you are drawn to Enzo and Rocco with your Italian heritage, though they aren’t my personal taste (although I love the full Lorenzo).

Your DP really needs to compromise, because it sounds like you are willing to, with names like Theodore but nicknamed Teddy. If he’s getting the surname and the middle name too! 😱, you just have to insist on this - hopefully he’ll come around once you have actually given birth 😡

Some ideas of traditional names with modern nicknames, as well as some Italian names that have a more traditional feel to me:

Matthew/Matteo (Teo) (love this, can see why it’s internationally popular)
Max/Maximo (Max just works everywhere)
Nicholas/Nicolo/Nico (Nico works everywhere too)
Dominic (Nico) (might be more to DP’s taste?)
Michael (Mica/Cal might be more modern nicknames for you?)
Edward/Edoardo (Edo/Teddy/Bear lots of cute nn’s for this)
Thomas/Tommaso (Tommy - traditional yet cute nn)
Joseph/Giuseppe (Joey - traditional yet cute nn).
Vincent/Vincenzo (Enzo) (might be a more traditional option for DP than just Enzo).

Although Michael pops up on the most hated boy names, I would use it over the nicknames Mike, Mick and Mikey. They are really awful shortenings. particularly Mikey which is horrendous.