Delayed name regret - help!

[Bluebell01]

I’ve started recently obsessing worrying about my DD (9) and DS (7)’s names. I feel terrible about it, but it’s been really bothering me. I think their names are both quite lovely individually, but I don’t LOVE them and I feel like I’ve done them a disservice in giving them unimaginative and dated (not ‘old fashioned cool) names. Where we live in London, I worry they stand out in a sea of Islas, Freddies, Axels, Oscars etc. So silly, but I just can’t seem to let it go. I suffer from OCD, so conscious I’m obsessing out of proportion. They’re James (he’s become Jimmy) and Louisa (Lou). Tips to let it go, or some cruel to be kind advice?! x

Well it's too late for regrets now.

I’m not religious and not in AA, but I think the Serenity Prayer is very useful.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Do that! There’s also a really obvious issue. They aren’t your names so your opinion is meaningless. Do they identify with their names? Do they like them? My DD hates her long version and loves the short, so she uses that. No drama, her choice.

I think your children’s names are lovely, refreshing and timeless. Definitely let it go, the names belong to your children and it would be awful for them to pick up on your anxiety over it.

Their names are perfectly fine.

You said you worry they stand out, but are boring names.

I have literally never met anyone as an adult with a classic, nice name and thought ‘WOW what a boring name’ because you don’t really give a shit once they get out of the baby/toddler stage.

James and Louisa are great names. And more importantly it’s THEIR names, not yours. So for you to obsess over it, 7-9 years later, is your OCD talking and you need to remind yourself this whenever it pops into your head. You gave them lovely names.

I actually think James is quite a strong name. And in a world full of Oscars and Axels you meet fewer and fewer Jameses.

They're great, timeless and classless names so won't pigeon hole them in any way.

They are both lovely names. James is timeless and not boring at all

Also, this is just my personal feeling, but I have very good associations with the name James, have known a few good ones.

Nice names and definitely popular still so I wouldn’t worry. Do either of them have a problem with their names? They are not tiny children so it’s not entirely your decision at this point if you were to look at changing them.

Thank you SO much everyone for your words of total reason. They seem to love their names thank goodness (son loves various nicknames) - and totally right - they’re THEIR names. Not mine. I just have perpetual guilt about lots of things - not just this haha! And I would never dream of changing them of course at their age (that would be crazy!). I chose them because I loved them at the time and wanted classic names.

Thank you so much and feeling very silly!

Both names are currently popular and both are very nice, but if you ask them they might like to change them.

Orion and Kixee perhaps?

They’re both really lovely names. I have a friend who named her son James earlier this year, and everyone said how lovely and classic it is in amongst so many Arlos and Theos. Equally Louisa is really beautiful - reminds me of The Sound of Music and Little Women. Both good associations.

James and Louisa are a million times better than Axel.
You've given them classic names which have stood the test of time for a reason.

Honestly - it doesn’t matter whether you “love” the names or not. They’re their names now. That’s who they are and how they’ll see themselves. And, for what it’s worth, I think you’ve served them well with classic, timeless names that will serve them well as adults. I would say I feel similarly about my older child’s name, as I’m honest - but I’ve applied the same reasoning back myself!

You're crazy OP! James and Louisa are both fabulous names - my ds' middle name is James and Louisa was in my top 3 for dd. We went with something equally lovely but I still call her Louie/Lulu as a nickname for some reason.

Both timeless and very classy names and a million times better than edgy/trendy/pretentious names which are ten a penny in London

Honestly they’re such lovely names and very normal - definitely wouldn’t stand out as being odd or anything

They love them and at the end of the day that is far and away the most important thing! Stop over thinking OP, they are great names, not too common, not too out there.

I really don’t get the concept of “boring names”! And you children have classic but unusual names-perfect!

I think you’ve picked really well and those names won’t really date. An interesting name won’t really get you anywhere if you don’t have anything else to offer, but a weird name could probably hold you back. So I would definitely stop worrying.

Great names! They stand out but in a lovely way. So refreshing in an endless sea of Archies, Arlos, Freddies, Avas, Evies, Ellas and Olivias. Nothing wrong with those names they are just very popular.

They are lovely names, and " stand out in a sea of Islas, Freddies, Axels, Oscars etc. " seems to be what most people are looking for!

Gorgeous names...Louisa is a favourite of mine - so elegant, and James, and Jimmy, is just classy. Dont give it another thought...both will endure beautifully.

What beautiful names
they stand out in a great way
classic, well known but not overused. Nickname options and they go well together.

try and move on from it. Accept that those are their names and truthfully a name doesn’t define you

Both lovely names.
My 3 dc names are all in the top ten names and have been for last 20 years they were each one of several children with that name at school. None were intended as being popular choices they were named after people we know/admire. All three have said at one or another they would prefer a less popular name.