Choosing baby name

[Imlovemykids5]

I'm currently 28 weeks pregnant with baby number 5. I have 4 children to another ex partner and this is first baby with different partner. We have been on and off and when I found out I was pregnant he was excited and wanted to be involed but he has been on and off with his ex partner throughout are year "relationship" he came to first scan but he has missed early sexing scan, 20 week scan and also a growth scan. He doesn't bother with asked about the baby just seems concerned about the babies name as he wants to be involved with first name and have his last name. He has done nothing but let me down since are first scan and is more interested in me than the baby. He doesn't even want to come to the birth. Question is do u involve him in the name after so much let down before he's born and also not trusting he will be involved when baby is here. Any help would be great thanks

Well you’re clearly not in a relationship and he won’t be giving his last name to this child. You’ll be a single parent.

Why would you give the child his last name or him any input into the name when he's clearly not sticking around and has shown no interest?

Don't involve him in name. I wouldn't even name him as baby's daddy. Also, give baby your surname even if you plan to name him as father.

You choose the first name, give the baby your surname and don’t put him on the birth certificate.

You would be completely insane to let this man have any influence over your baby’s name.

You choose the first name, give the baby your surname and don’t put him on the birth certificate.

The person who will be caring for the child gets to decide the names

Last name, absolutely no way. The relationship isn't stable enough for him to expect you to let baby take his surname.

First name it depends I guess. If you have a firm name in mind, I'd be tempted to just say "this is what I am naming the baby". Tough if he doesn't like it, he's not committed enough to deserve a big say. If you are less decisive and have a few names in mind, I'd consider letting him pick a favourite. That way, he's having a say, but ultimately he's choosing from a list of names you like, rather than completely coming up with his own choice. Unless he happens to suggest something you really like I guess. That would be a lucky coincidence though.

Basically, you take ownership and accept that you are likely going to be a single parent, which ultimately may be the best thing for you both if he's messed you around so much already before baby is even here. Children need stability. It's all or nothing really. It's not nice for a child to grow up without a father in their life, but far preferable than having one who flits in and and and constantly let's them down.

Good luck

Thanks for your comments I really appreciate it. It's just difficult as first time had this as other children's dad has been brilliant. He had a chance to come this scan after letting me down last 2 scans and still didn't turn up. I know he's relying on me to let him stay at my house when iv had the baby to help out but I have said no as we are not in a relationship and he has his own place. Just seems more interested I'm getting his name in than actually being a father it's sad 😔 he never asked how the scans go just wants to spy on me and what I'm doing even tho we are not together he drains me asking questions about me and what I am doing and I dread speaking to him as he drains me. Feel like best option is to keep him out my life as it's lest stress and less disappointment to deal with rather do this alone.

DO NOT give your child his name or put him on the birth certificate. It will not end well. I wish I'd been given that advice xx

Don’t give the baby his name; make sure you register the birth alone and don’t even tell him you have an appointment to do it; and yes, choose a name you want and don’t involve him at all.

You remind me of me. I wish I’d not given my last child his father’s surname. If I could go back in time and change it, I would. Don’t be me.

I wouldn’t be putting him on the birth certificate or giving baby his last name either. He hasn’t been there for you or baby since the beginning.

Agree with everyone else. In fact I'd tell him you're not interested in speaking with him, block him, and stop all communication. If he tries to turn up tell him to leave you alone or you'll have to call the police.

If he wants a relationship with the child he can apply to the court, but it's unlikely he'll be bothered.

Sounds like he's pushing to get his name on the birth certificate to give him parental rights so he can keep a hold over you

No way, don’t involve him and give the baby your surname

Why are you still with him? He’s clearly got no interest in being with you and once the baby arrives you’ll be on your own! Im
cannot fathom why you wanted a baby with him!

At most, I would give the baby a second name associated with their father. The reasoning would be for the sake of my child wanting a connection later on.

Why are you having his baby? Why are you even considering his views??

Because the first 12 weeks he was involved and excited but as soon as he knew I didn't want to be in a relationship with him and I was happy being single parent he lost interest apart from picking the name

OP, if you don’t want to be in a relationship with him, then that’s the end of the matter. He doesn’t get to name your child, or hang around getting under your feet once you’ve had the baby. He’s shown he’s not interested : he doesn’t get to be there just for the “fun” bits of parenting. Let him go back to his ex-partner. Time to draw the line and move on.

It doesn't sound he is overkeen on the idea of a baby if you aren't even in a relationship with him any longer. It was unwise of you to get pregnant especially as you already have 4 children. So I think the baby name sounds the least if your worries.

This.

Just because I'm not in a relationship with the babies father and have 4 other children does not mean I shouldn't have another child this child will be lovely and cared for just as much as my other children with or with out the father. I was just asking for advice on if it was fair I picked name without the father nit to be told I shouldn't of got pregnant thanks for your opinion but certainly not needed

@Imlovemykids5 , this is first baby with different partner. but you don't have a partner, and you refer to this as first.
It's a bit late for @Viviennemary to make her comment, but she's probably saying what others are thinking.