River

[heffalumpwoozle]

Thoughts on the name River for a boy?

It's a favourite for both DH and me, but a bit worried family might think it's a bit 'out there' or effeminate. Family are quite traditional. I know I shouldn't care about their opinions but as I get closer to birth I'm finding I can't help it.

Alexander is our 'safe' option, we both also love it, but we're both arty/creative and River feels a bit more us.

That’s because it isn’t. But Mumsnet like their children to sound like an old people’s home filled with the names had had rightly been consigned to the dustbin of history, with a few classics scattered around.

Nothing popular, nothing modern.

Meanwhile those of us with kids or who work with young people hear all kinds of names and they just wash over you. If I think about a name for more than a second I’m going to think “poor you” more to a Mabel or Winifred than to a River.

No of course they don’t lose skills because of a name.

But it’s nice to feel like you are “ in your own skin” with a name. The more that skin is quite a statement of sorts, the more risk this is as an issue. Mum and Dad may feel very proud of their aristocratic heritage, but what if DS wants to blend in away from that a bit? It’s harder to go if you are called Peregrine Charles because that’s a statement of parental values up to a point.

I think it’s fair to say River is similarly “directing.” To me, River had parents who envisaged their son being arty or even a bit alternative and indeed you have said so.

That’s not a bad thing; it just might not be him.

Alexander can be formal Judge Alexander, easy-going Lex, sporty Alex, bookish Xander, individualist Zander or Zan. There just a lot of directions you can take it in which for me is an asset in a well-chosen name.

Alexander isn’t an old person’s name.

It’s a classic.

To me the name River has certain connotations, hippy, arty etc that I don't think I'd want to put on a child - what if they're a geeky computer nerd? I think it would be really jarring then. It's a name that you have to fit for it to work IMO.

Alexander would be better in that respect I think. River as a middle name is fine with the r's if it fits with your surname, it's not often that people reel off their middle names anyway.

Names might be changing and certainly go in and ouf of fashion but Jayden is an abomination of a name, Fox is ridiculous and Kit is a diminutive of Christopher.

I really like it. River Alexander is cool.

I really like River, and also Forrest, Heath and Rowan.

Alexander IMO is pretty dull. If you don’t go for River I think there could be something slightly more individual to pick.

I like it, but I'd associate with River Phoenix so that puts me off

Alexander is a great name.

To be fair though, River Phoenix died about three decades ago, so it’s only oldies like us that would make that association.

I love it.
I think it's a beautiful name.
I was a River Phoenix fan so people of my age (40s/50s) might think of it as a "hippy" name but it's become fairly normal now with plenty of people named River and no one bats an eyelid.
(Phoenix is also a popular name - but I personally don't like that so much as first name).
River Alexander is fantastic.
Go for it.

Why?

I guess the association with fatal drug overdose at a very young age is seen as a tragic one.

Fun fact: I think River Phoenix was originally River Bottom! Not quite the same ring to it! Presumably Bottom was not considered a good stage name …

I taught a 'Sultana' I wouldn't worry about meetings.

@Calliopespa yes - the drug overdose makes me just think of sadness and how tragic is was.
His childhood (growing up in a cult) was difficult and then he was in Hollywood as a child actor so I can slightly understand why he turned to drugs.
I don't think of the bad association - I think of it as a heartbreaking tragedy.
But that doesn't mean I think of the name River as a tragic name.
I think it's beautiful.

I love the idea for a name but it's an unusual sound - will widely be pronounced "Rivva", and shortened to "Riv".
Avon is a stronger sound with same meaning but more subtle. Shortens to Ave which feels solid.
River feels like a 70s - 90's name - for the kind of hippy family that the Phoenixes were. If your friends give their kids names like that, it would suit, but (as much as I love it) I think it's unclear what social group it goes with.

Sultana is a classic epic name.

Chavvy

You can't go wrong with Alexander. Much stronger and classic. River will sound naff in 10 years.

I do like River in slow horses but always think he's misnamed seeing as comes from a toff-y background

She was quite an epic young woman.

I like it.

I also met a Reed recently which I think is very different but kind of elegant, like a male version of Brooke.

For a girl would be perfect, not sure for a boy.

This^
I understand your desire for your child to stand out but not this way…

River is one of the main characters in slow horses - he’s a handsome spy played by Jack Lowden. I’m sure more people know him now than river Phoenix. Maybe watch series 1 op.

😂
Bit wet