Using names my friends like too

[Namenerd21]

Hi all,

im currently 6 months pregnant and recently found out im having a girl. I told my friend and she immediately let me know she likes a certain name and that it was her grandmas name but she’s not sure if she wants kids. The problem is this name has always been one of my favourite name choices for a girl aswell. I did tell her I liked that name but not that it was one of my top choices. My other issue is that another close friend of mine has said she likes one of my other name ideas as well and she said if she ever has another child that she’s going to name her daughter that if she has a girl. She has said with quite a lot of certainty that her and her DH aren’t planning on having any more children but it’s not a very common name especially the way that I’d spell it. The other thing is that it was on a list of name ideas that I showed to her before she told me that’s what she would name her daughter if she ever has another girl. She has said in the past she wouldn’t care if I used the same or similar name to her DD (I wasn’t planning on doing this it’s just something she said when we were talking about this topic)so that’s reassuring but the fact she mentioned it and specifically said spelled with an E at the end makes me feel like I’m stealing it even though it was on the name list I showed her before she mentioned it to me. She probably didn’t notice and it’s just a coincidence but I don’t know if I should just use the names anyway if I like them especially since neither of them are planning to get pregnant currently

If you have a large circle of friends, it's quite likely that at least one friend will choose the same baby name as you. Since your friends aren't even pregnant, it's a non-issue.

I'd be pleased if a friend chose "my" baby names, especially as I'm not having any more myself!

You are currently pregnant, they are not. You are having a girl, they may end up with a boy even if they did happen to have another. Either you or they may move away at some point and lose touch. It happens. Given that neither of them are even planning another child, I really wouldn't give up a name you love on ifs buts and maybes.

You've given both the heads up that you like the same name they do so it will be no surprise to them if that's the name you pick in the end.

Ultimately, you pick whichever name you and your partner want. It might be the one friend 1 loves, it might be the one friend 2 loves, it might be a different name altogether which feels right for your little girl in the end. Don't rule anything out just because a friend may or (more likely) may not also want to use it one day though.

Also, I think selfishly a lot of us think "I hope they pick a nice name" whenever someone we know is due soon (even though it's ultimately nothing to do with us). I'm sure both friends would rather hear you've named your daughter something which they consider to be lovely (especially if neither of them are likely to ever get to use their favourite girls name themselves) than hear you've named her something they secretly think is dreadful!

You're pregnant, they're not. The only people who have input into a child's name are the parents.
Who knows if you'll still be friends with these people in 5, 10 or so years. Choose the name you want, don't worry about others.

Completely agree with this

Exactly. You might not be friends in a few years but your child is for life. You are allowed to pick a name you love

Genuinely, are there people who sit about discussing their favourite baby names with their friends, when they’re either not pregnant and not even sure whether they plan to have children, or finished their childbearing?

OP, it’s not clear what your actual issue is — is it that you feel your friends will be annoyed you stole ‘their’ name, or that they will go on to have daughters later on and give them the same name you will have given yours, so that there will be three Yasmines?

I think her issue is upsetting her friends and having them think she’s stolen a name.

And yes! Me and my closest friend talked baby names for years before either of us were pregnant! I still love discussing baby names (hence why I’m on this thread! 😉)

Op, I genuinely understand your concern. I wouldn’t rule out a name for that reason tho. If you’re really close to these friends, maybe talk to them and express how much you love the names and gauge how much of a problem you using it may cause in your friendship. They might be happy for you to use the name! I think a conversation is needed first and then you can asses how big of a deal it may be.