Would you use a name, if you knew somebody by that name?

[YourAmberFawn]

Hypothetical question as I am no longer naming a baby (she is born and healthy and named!)

However the amount of names we veto’d because we once knew a friend of a friend with the name so it was associated with someone else to us 🤣

A girl I went to school with had a baby just before we found out the gender of ours, and she named her baby our number one boy name which had me in tears for days, until I found out my baby was a girl! (Hormones 😆)

However, my brother has the same name as my mums cousin (not even an honour thing as she doesn’t like her cousin) so Idk if it’s just a me thing lol

Would you use a name if you knew somebody with that name? How close is too close for you?

I wouldn’t use the same name as nieces and nephews but otherwise I totally would.

No I wouldn’t - names are meant to identify us as uniquely as possible, so I would look for another name I loved that wasn’t already used by a close friend and/or family member.

I wouldn’t use it if it was a fairly close family member or someone I see regularly. If it was a fairly commonly used name then I’d absolutely use it if I knew someone with the name. If it was a really rare name then it might be a bit more awkward to do that because it looks like you’re copying!

Names are not unique though. They are shatred by many people.
I probably would't use the same name as a nephew or niece but apart from that If I liked the name I would use it.
Friends, neighbours, work colleagues etc came and go anyway as we move on with our lives.

But many names, especially those outside the top 250, are only used 10- 50 times per year so the chances of meeting another is pretty unusual.

I specifically said ‘as uniquely as possible’

I did rule out a lot of names because of horrible girls at school, and the name my daughter ended up with was one that no one in my year had, and a girl in the year below and a university acquaintance shared but I didn't have strong feelings about either of those people.

As a teacher, with a teacher husband, I have said that I'm absolutely unwilling to name my children any name of a child i have already taught! This seemed to accidentally extend with our son to not naming him any name of anyone I'd ever met 🙈

Now I'm pregnant with number 2, I've carried this over. Our son's name is similar to one of my second cousins, but we're unlikely to ever see them and it is definitely not the same name. I prefer less popular names, so it doesn't really affect our naming choices that much.

Yes of course - how could you possibly avoid every single person you have ever known's name?

DS1 has the same name as my friend's boyfriend at the time (now an ex) - he isn't named after him, we just liked the name and didn't dislike the boyfriend enough to put us off, even though he later turned out to be a bit of an idiot.

Not sure if I knew anyone with DS2's name, though it's not a particularly unusual name. A couple of acquaintances' children maybe.

DS3 has the same name as a boy I went to primary school with, someone DH works with and my friend's husband. Again, not named after any of those people, just was a name we liked, and we didn't dislike any of the people enough to be put off the name! (I don't know the colleague but the other two are nice people).

DH is named after his dad 🤷‍♀️ he was adamant he didn't want to do this (causes issues with post apparently) and I wouldn't name a child the same as a sibling, aunt/uncle, grandparent or cousin.

Other than that I think anything is fair game.

No, but that's probably just because I just prefer names that you don't hear very often.

See the rational side of me is all ‘if you love the name use it, nobody owns a name’ etc etc.

The reality was I automatically vetoed the name of anyone we had any kind of ongoing contact with, and the names of any of their children too. I also didn’t especially want the names of any children I’d taught - though that wouldn’t have been an absolute deal breaker providing it was a nice child!

I was even put off one of our favourite names for a boy because someone I worked with used it for their son, even though I no longer worked with them and was never likely to see them again.

If we had had a boy I would probably have had to compromise, there were so few boy names we agreed on and the only ones we did were the one mentioned above or ones I’d taught more than once.

As it was we had a girl and chose my absolute favourite name - not particularly unusual but I had never met a single one before she was born, though we’ve come across one or two since.

I’m not sure how you would avoid the band of every single person you’d met, unless you have a very small family and a fairly small social circle?

I think this is an odd thing to stipulate. If you like a name why not use it? A chap I worked with had a baby with his wife and gave her the same name as me. I thought nothing of it and obviously neither did he. It's just a nice name. Then years later I bumped into another ex colleague. We had a very quick catch-up and turns out she was now a mum with a daughter with my name too.

I don't see why you'd restrict yourself in such a way. Obviously if the name had negative connotations you'd probably not consider it, but otherwise why not?

I was very much like this when naming my first child, even if i heard a name and it was a friend of a friends and I was unlikely to meet them. So she has a quite unusual name I wasn’t so fussy with the second and third I’d given up by then 😊

Our DS has the same name as an adult friend of mine and DH’s. Not connected or in honour of him, we just liked the (classic, popular) name and it was the only name among hundreds considered that we kept coming back to. Friend was tickled pink when we announced the birth and DS’s name.

We had this problem when I was due with DS2, we decided on Jacob, but then my neighbour, who is also a friend, named her baby boy Jacob, the hormonal devastation was real ! Everyone told me it would be fine but all the DC play out together and we pop in and out of each others for coffees and all I heard for days was "Jacob did this and Jacob did that and aww look at Jacob" I knew instantly I couldn't name my baby that anymore ! So I personally think it depends more on how regularly you see them rather than just family members. I have some family members I haven't seen for over 10 years ha.

Depends how close the person is and how unusual the name is.

Friends of ours wanted to name their son after his grandfather, which also happened to be our son's name. They asked if we'd mind if they gave their son the same name as ours, and of course we didn't. TBH I think if they'd announced the name without asking us, my first thought would have been "His grandfather will be delighted" and only then would it have occurred to me that it was our son's name. (Classic name of the William / James / George variety)

Going against the grain but I would use a name of close friends / family if it was a family name for myself / had sentimental value but that is the only reason.
otherwise I would tend to stay clear