Should I change his name?

[PinkProsecco1]

To those of you who have changed a babies name - when did you know it was the right thing to do?

Since the day we’ve named my son I’ve always been hung up on the fact we didn’t use his name we used whilst I was pregnant. This was mainly due to it not sounding right with our surname. It wasn’t anything that would cause him to be bullied or anything, it just could sound like two different words if said quickly together. I find myself not wanting to say his name to people who I don’t know. I’m not entirely sure why, both our families love his name and we both really liked it whilst I was pregnant. I’ve only had one negative comment which is that it’s a dog name.

My son is now 9 months old and I still have these thoughts almost daily. I’m starting to panic that I only have three months left if I do want to change his name, but I’m also worried that if I change it I might regret it. Those who have changed the name - did you ever regret it?

I just don’t know what to do.

Thank you for your response. In general I feel really good! It’s my second and I suffered with PPD with my first but luckily haven’t this time round. I was conscious that name regret can be a symptom though, which is why I’ve waited this long but the feelings just don’t seem to be changing.

I haven’t approached my husband about it in all honesty, but I know he would be on board with whatever I wanted. The only reason we changed from the original name (the one I regret not using) is because I was having doubts whilst pregnant. But I just wish I’d never voiced those doubts and we’d stuck with it because pretty much as soon as he was born I wish we’d used it, but we’d already started using the other name.

Could you give an example of why it wouldn't go with the surname using different names?

Dog's name: Rufus, Jack, Alfie, Archie, Toby, Teddy, Fido, Rover, Gnasher?

How well it flows with your surname matters more if it’s a popular name, as he’s more likely to end up being name + surname in school if there’s more than one of them in the class / year group. If it’s an unusual name then he might only rarely use his full name and it won’t matter much day to day. In which case, if your husband is on board then try using the other name for a few days and see how it feels?

I would change it. You have this feeling for a reason and I’m in a similar place, my daughter is now a little older (11 months) and I’ve requested the paper work. I feel like I’ll regret it if I don’t.
I haven’t felt like it was right since registering her and I think it’s because we went for something other than the name I thought she’d always be and it’s not one of her middle names either. even if you put the name you wanted as a middle name it’ll be an option without the need for deed poll.

my midwife changed her sons name at 8 months and my health visitor had this feeling with her son and still does, he’s 21!!
It can be a challenging enough time and you’re asked to name your baby when you’re tired and your hormones are everywhere. Be kind to yourself!

I didn't ever regret the change. It made me feel instantly happier (it had caused postnatal depression, which immediately went away after the change..). But i had wanted to use his (new) name for years. DH wasn't so struck which is why we settled on a compromise name, which I ended up, like you, feeling uncomfortable when I told people. In hindsight, we both now feel that if one parent has loved a name for years and it means a lot to them, it is better than going with a name we both just like the sound of. The previous name is also from a different country origin to our own, so I had different issues with it, that I felt were relevant, for our son's sake. It just wasn't him. He was 6 months when we started to call him the new name, to see if it felt right to both of us (i didn't want to rush into it if DH didn't get on with the name). Then at 11 months we made the official change on his birth certificate.

Max?

(Yes, very stupid, but i've heard a very stupid person say this is a dog's name before!)

@WhiteOrca , it's a nice name for a boy or dog.

Where I live it's all cockerpoo type dogs with names like Alfie and Bella.I'd be reluctant to use those names for a child mainly cos I don't like the names.

Thanks so much for the responses! So the name when said with our surname quickly sounds like two different words. These aren’t the names but an example would be Jonah Peers (sounds like Joan appears).

Our boys current name isn’t one of the names that have been mentioned, but is in a similar category to Toby, Alfie, Max. It’s not quite as “doggy” as Rover or Gnasher!

I feel like silly things are putting me off changing it, like we announced his birth in a personalised romper and that wouldn't be his name if we changed it. But ultimately that’s one picture, whereas he will be use the name for the rest of his life so think I need to focus more on that…

I think it depends on the words that it sounds like it’s morphed into. Could you break the name up with a smaller name so that doesn’t happen? - like Jay or Lee, so for your example, Jonah-Lee. Although you do sounds like you are desperate to change it, I don’t think I would want to change it to a name that sounded like other words incase they are bullied for it.

Sorry I’ve completely misread your post!
If the name already sounds like 2 different words, then I would change it definitely.
As he grows up it will probably annoy him as much as it does you because other children will pick up on it.

This is a clear sign I should be asleep, I’ve now realised actually my original reply was right and I actually misread your post the second time! I’m so sorry. Just ignore all of my replies is probably best 🤦‍♀️

I think you should change it

I didn't even know you could within a certain time frame so thats good

You've had a really long time to get used to it and clearly it doesn't suit him and you know you don't like it

So yes go ahead and change it.

What about in future declaration of old name all the time. Is this delays visa, work , study and travel

@msks , if you change the name before 12 months old, that isn't an issue, as the Birth Certificate shows the old name and the new name.

If you change it via deed poll, you supply the deed poll along with the birth certificate. A passport is usually enough as proof of ID anyway.

In terms of travel to USA and Canada, they ask have been used any other name since birth? . Then you have to declare. Is passport will be enough for travel or birth certificate too? . In future when they apply for dbs, universities is this can cause delays?

It's a field usually. 'Name at birth (if different)'.

I've filled in countless forms over the years, and just fill it in.
Sometimes I am asked for birth cert., proof of name change, passport.

Depending on why the name was changed the proof will be something like the deed poll or marriage cert.
It shouldn't cause a delay.

It might if for example, you were changing your child from Osama bin Laden Jr to Harry James Taylor.

I will change only her forename.

Do you mean that the staff that need proof if idenity anyway ,new passport will do the job. However, because you declared name change , they will ask you to send the birth certificate along side? . Is it the same situation while travelling, do you need to carry birth certificate too?

@msks , how old is your daughter now?
Is she older than 12 months?

She is 10 months now

She is 10 months now. Traveled to Egypt home country. Also we travelled to canada, USA using the old name

Have you already changed the name on the birth certificate?

We almost took the decision and get the paperwork but I didn’t proceed as I am too anxious about the consequences for her. So I am gathering more information as still two month left

But surely any name would sound like two words because he will have the same surname?

if you want to change the BC, do it now. Do not delay. Get it done before she is 12 months old, then get the passport updated.

If she had dual nationality, then it's more complicated.

If you or the father have dual nationality, then it's complicated.

Visas and security forms tend to treat dual nationality as 'suspicious'.