DH hates the name I want - Esme

[kerala]

He says it is pretentious and disputes it is a real name . He doesnt like my second choice either. He is a lovely man and usually gives in but he is sticking on this. He wants no. 3 below, I want 1 or 2, although I like 3 too.

Current choices are:

1. Esme Anna
2. Sylvia Mary
3. Elspeth Anna

Any thoughts?!

I think you have to find a name you both like. Would you really want him to "give in" and name is child a name he did not like? Would you "give in" in such circumstances?

There must be a name you both like. I love Anna and Sylvia is sweet.

My own personal opinion of Esme is similar to your DH's. But that is irrelevant, it is what you both feel that is important.

Well it has to be a joint decision really, doesn't it. If he really dislikes your first 2 options then unless you can gently persuade him then imo you have to discount them. We drew up a list of all the names we BOTH liked and then chose.

So if you both like name no 3 then go for that.

Esme is a real name, I remember having a friend Esme more then 20 years ago. But if he doesn't like it, then you have to take it off your list! You can't choose a name he hates - how would you feel if he chose a name you hate?

Elspeth is fine.

Esme is a real name, ~I was at school with one 20 years ago. Also, there's a novel "For Esme - With Love and Squalor" by JD Sallinger (he of Catcher in the Rye fame) written in the 1950s-ish.

But besides all that, shouldn't names have mutual agreement?

I know an Esme and she is beautiful and soooo cute!

Elspeth on the other hand is one of those unfashioned names that just sounds old fashioned and not pretty at all.

And Sylvia - she will be called Sylv and round here it sounds awful in a broad Essex Twang!

i love the name esme, my 7 week old is called ismay which comes from that name(my name and dd1s name start with e so didnt want anymore to)do agree though that you and your dh have to agree on it

You have to compromise, if he usually gives in and is sticking on this one then he really doesn't like it! Don't force it.Go for 3 which is similar and still has same second name. My 3 DSs have different names from the ones that I would have chosen on my own but I still like them. You will be surprised once they are here they seem to suit them better!

Really sorry but you have to agree!! My dh and I loathed the other one's choices for dds so neither of us had our first choice - that's life I'm afraid!

You have to agree on a name. Dh has vetoed at least 5 of my favourite names, but there are still some that we both like. I'd say you are doing quite well to agree on your third choice.

few very of us get to choose our favourite names for our babies. It's almost always a compromise.

No you have to compromise - why should he "give in"?

Esme is indeed lovely (I like it much, much better than your other choices) but you can't MAKE him like it!

Esme Squalor is a character in the Series Of Unfortunate Events books, obviously named after the JD Salinger book - just thought I'd drop that in!

Maybe you could persuade him to use it as a muddle name, although it wouldn't work with Elspeth.

"Muddle" name?!!!!!

Middle is what I meant!

Wow lovely list.

1. Esme Anna - I like Esme but I wouldn't put Anna after it. There will be an Esmeanna out there soon.

1. Sylvia Mary - This is beautiful. I really love this one. My son was to have been Sylvie Nina or Sylvia Pearl if he'd been a girl.

1. Elspeth Anna - I wouldn't choose this myself as Elspeth is a bit clunky but I really respect the name as a whole iykwim. Elsa would make a lovely nn for Elspeth. Anna 'pretties up' Eslpeth though.

I like Lois, Polly, Greta and Nancy and Margot which I see as being in tune with your taste. just a few more suggestions.

PS if Sylvia is the name you both like then it's an excellent compromise. It doesn't lack anything for being a compromise name.

Esme was my cat's name. Irrelevant but I don't like it for human beings (someone else suggested it to the cat when we first got her and it was the only one she reacted to). And agree the final 'e' against the initial 'a' of Anna is clumsy.

Sylvia is lovely but if you both like Elspeth, why not go for it? Some people think Elspeth is old-fashioned but older names are making a comeback - Ivy, Sydney, etc. etc. etc.

i love esme, and prefer it to sylvia or elspeth

Apologies but Esme is far from pretentious (very much in the other direction TBH) it's very popular in the area where my friend lives as a name for cats and dogs. Sylvia reminds me of my mothers older sister (bleached blonde, fag hanging permanently from bottom puckered lip, every other word an 'f'), and Elspeth is just wrong (very old maiden aunt).

I like Esme - but if dh doesn't then you really have to drop it - sorry. Names are usually a bit of a compromise - I still faintly regret the Rowan I never had but dp really didn't like it.

Elspeth is nice - but remember that Ellie is VERY popular so there'll be lots.

What about Isobel, or Imogen?

How about Sylvie? Nicer than Sylvia.
Love Esme, shame about him not agreeing.

i like esme best out of your list, but you cant call the baby something your dh hates!

i bet most people dont get to call their dc their very favourite name, you always have to compromise a bit!!

Thanks for the responses! Especially the suggestions to put into the mix.

Yes know really that I will have to leave Esme as DH entitled to his opinion and cant have him shouting a name he hates in the supermarket for the next 20 years.

May have to rethink Elspeth also as I do have a great aunt of that name and she is actually a very difficult and quite outrageous person (she married an eminent religious man and when he died wrote a book exposing him as gay which was shocking in those days apparently).

I will continue lobbying for Sylvia Mary as Sylvie for short is lovely but Sylv does conjure up quite a rough 60 year old with a cockney accent and smokers cough.

Your great aunt elspeth sounds a fab role model!

Oh my gosh Seeker - I am another one who regrets the Rowan I never had; but that's because I had two girls.

Isobel is lovely (I have one!).

I like Sylvie a lot (isn't she a fairy in The Magic Faraway tree?) but not Sylve or Sylvia.

Esme is beautiful

Anna is dull and Sylvia is a barmaid

and Elspeth is my old school librarian, nicknamed "Hellsbreath"