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What do you do when you can't find any names?

110 replies

Camia · 26/02/2025 07:35

I don't know if this quite belongs here so apologies if not. I'm not sure of a better place for it. I don't know what to do going forward. My partner and I are expecting our third baby and third boy soon and picking a name has been an absolute nightmare. Girl names we can agree on (so of course we have all boys lol), but neither of us have an easy time settling on boy names and really loving them and we have total opposite naming styles, and it's gotten worse with each baby. Our first was a little difficult but we got there by about 25 weeks. Our second involved a miserable amount of back and forth and frustration and finally got a first name at 39 weeks, and we picked his middle name while I was in labor. Now on #3 I feel like there's no way this poor child will ever get a name.

We literally can't even remotely agree on ANYTHING. Every single name one of us even sort of likes the other completely hates. I'm out of ideas. I've spent at least an hour or 2 every day, sometimes longer, searching for names just trying to find new name ideas we haven't seen before and ruled out, and I'm not exaggerating when I say it's been months since I've found anything new. I'm to the point of actively seeking out the rarest, wildest names I can possibly find just to find something new and they're still all ones we've already seen and said no to. I've tried finding a compromise between our naming styles and looking for names that fall somewhere in between, I've tried tweaking names one of us likes to make them more appealing to the other, I've tried catering to my partner's style and looking for names I can stand, I've lowered my own standards and gone from looking for names I love to just any name I think I could live with. He's tried to do the same with my naming style. We've tried just flat out making up a name. It's gotten us nowhere. We both agree that it's not fair to give just one of us more control over the first name, we both know we'd both end up unhappy over it knowing one of us never wanted that name. I'm beyond stressed and frustrated and the pregnancy hormones are not helping. I adore my older 2 boys' names even though they were hard to settle on, they're perfect for both of them, and I feel like the only option at this point is to give up and just pick any random name no matter how I feel about it and it breaks my heart to think of sticking my baby with a decision like that.

I might be being ridiculous from hormones and stress and sleep deprivation (the pregnancy insomnia has been terrible this time around) but I just don't know what to do. Do I just go with something my partner likes and hope it grows on me over the years? Do I try to convince him to do that and then live the rest of my life feeling horribly guilty about it? Do we just pick a name out of a hat and deal with whatever it ends up being?

OP posts:
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LadeedahYadaYada · 26/02/2025 14:51

call it "boy" or "girl"

Neurotoxic · 26/02/2025 15:03

Vesper
Azriel
Espen
Kyron
Uriah
Good luck!

Emanwenym · 26/02/2025 15:11

@TweedCoat , most of your names are classic names that don't suggest anything much about the parents. I'd probably be happy to use about half of them, and the ones I wouldn't would be because I know too many or they don't go with my surname. I wouldn't use many of the current top 20, because either I don't like them or I know far too many already.

OP's suggestions are not to my taste. The only one I think is OK is Tristan, but her DP's suggestions are far too weird.

MusicalChairsNameChange · 26/02/2025 15:29

Your partner's suggestions seem a bit Lord of the Rings to me. That made me wonder if perhaps Welsh names might be the way to go - unusual enough to suit his taste, but still real names:

Rhydian
Gwilym
Gethin
Aneirin
Gruffydd
Osian
Llywelyn
Owain
Elwyn

Emanwenym · 26/02/2025 15:32

MusicalChairsNameChange · 26/02/2025 15:29

Your partner's suggestions seem a bit Lord of the Rings to me. That made me wonder if perhaps Welsh names might be the way to go - unusual enough to suit his taste, but still real names:

Rhydian
Gwilym
Gethin
Aneirin
Gruffydd
Osian
Llywelyn
Owain
Elwyn

Elwyn isn't Welsh, and some of the others are, or have been, very popular in Wales.

MusicalChairsNameChange · 26/02/2025 15:36

Er...yes it is!

TwoRobins · 26/02/2025 15:50

Those names!!!

Your husband is DBU!

Emanwenym · 26/02/2025 15:53

It's used, or was about 75 years ago, but is not of Welsh origin. Alwyn, Edwyn and Oswyn aren't either.

Moier · 26/02/2025 16:00

Easy in my day.. we didn't know what we were having.
We decided if a boy he could pick the name.. if a girl me.
I won both times. Lol.
Why not draw lots?.

Moier · 26/02/2025 16:08

Well Ryzen is a digital processor

Moier · 26/02/2025 16:13

Zyren is Norse and can be girl or boy.
Ryzen is a digital processor.
Killua is a Japanese cartoon character. ..

Moier · 26/02/2025 16:20

Moreteaandchocolate · 26/02/2025 09:05

Your name ideas are all good, his are bonkers!

How about

Kyron
Cillian
Koby
Byron
Dawson
Bohdi
Boden
Calvin
Samson
Silas
Arlen
Heath
Emmett
Ivo
Jonas
Cyrus
Aston
Miller
Fabian
Amos
Jago
Travis
Reid
Jay
Lucian
Cian
Lachlan
Rufus
Nolan
Ashton
Magnus
Stefan
Sullivan
Harris
Cassian
Fraser
Ivan
Rhys
Angus
Hector
Hayden
Lennon
Damien
Lincoln
Aidanp
Ronan
Leonard
Marcus
Ezekiel
Callum
Micah
Zain
Flynn
Cole
Spencer
Rex
Casper
Cameron
Rudy
Lewis
Jason
Dexter
Archer
Rafferty
Joel
Evan
Isaiah
Joey
Rio
Asher
Abel
Parker
Zion
Aaron
Eric
Brodie
Cooper
Owen
Lenny
Dominic
Harley
Jonah
Levi
Vincent
Remi
Elliott
Otto
Luke
Wilfred
Ryan
Harvey
Jackson
Miles
Tobias
Jenson
Austin
Cody
Blake

All outside the top 100 boys names in the uk

Half of these are bonkers too lol.🤣

DalzielOrNoDalzielAndDontPascoe · 26/02/2025 16:30

LadeedahYadaYada · 26/02/2025 14:51

call it "boy" or "girl"

Like the family on Boy Girl Dog Cat Mouse Cheese on CBBC!!

RedOnyx · 26/02/2025 16:35

Camia · 26/02/2025 08:22

For reference my first son's name has hovered somewhere around the 700s in popularity ranking whenever I've looked, and my second son's name isn't in the top 1000 at all, but a different spelling of it is somewhere around the 500s if I remember correctly. So neither is a common name by any means but no one we've met has ever been surprised to hear either of them at all. I'd like to go for something similar for this baby, but my partner is wanting to lean a lot farther into unique names so that's one of the big things that's been hard to balance. I also tend to be drawn towards a little bit softer names and he likes stronger/harsher (not really the word I want to use but the closest I can think of right now) sounds.

My partner was the one to initially suggest my first's name and I suggested my second's, but neither of us really had a "final say", we were in full agreement that we both felt they were the right names.

Some of my suggestions for this baby have been Quinn, Soren, Evander, Tristan, and Roman. His have been (I might be ruining the spelling here but to the best of my memory) Killua, Ryzen, and Zyren.

Oh dear, your husband's names are truly awful in my opinion! Could Kilian be a compromise?

For my daughter we each made a list then swapped and the other person got to veto any they really hated, then both made arguments to cross off more from what was left until we got down to 10 we could both live with. We then both put those 10 in order from most to least favourite. Our number 1 got 10 points, then 9, 8, etc. So if my no. 1 was his no. 8 it got 12 points in total. That way we came up with a "favourite". It was actually on my list to start with as it happens but now we both absolutely love it.

I know you said you've spent lots of time looking but do you know this site: https://onomast.com/
There are a lot of names on there!

DalzielOrNoDalzielAndDontPascoe · 26/02/2025 16:35

potatodumpling · 26/02/2025 11:29

I was never any good at choosing names in advance, my third child just got called "the baby" for his first three weeks until we decided on a name. 😂

At least you did eventually choose a name. We used to know somebody who had a family member - a grown woman - whose actual given name was Baby!

DalzielOrNoDalzielAndDontPascoe · 26/02/2025 16:39

As a general rule, any name that dooesn't sound odd when you sing it immediately followed by 'Ah-aaaahhhh!" (as in Flash Gordon) would probably be a No from me.

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 26/02/2025 16:59

Your dhs is definitely being unreasonable, his name ideas are awful poor kid.

All the adults I know who have 'unique' names hate them and gave their own kids very (top 10) common names!!

You're the one carrying and birthing the baby so ultimately the name decision is yours imo.

RedOnyx · 26/02/2025 17:05

MusicalChairsNameChange · 26/02/2025 15:29

Your partner's suggestions seem a bit Lord of the Rings to me. That made me wonder if perhaps Welsh names might be the way to go - unusual enough to suit his taste, but still real names:

Rhydian
Gwilym
Gethin
Aneirin
Gruffydd
Osian
Llywelyn
Owain
Elwyn

Or Cornish
Jago
Caradok
Joris
Kelyn

salemcooper · 26/02/2025 17:15

Could you find a family name maybe or name him after a relative? At least then the name has "meaning" beyond being just a name that you both managed to agree on?

And congratulations!

mathanxiety · 26/02/2025 17:18

Camia · 26/02/2025 09:17

I seem to be going for Ns a lot with this baby. Not necessarily starting with N but N somewhere in the name. No particular reason but it is a pattern I've noticed. And I did like the Ry part of Ryzen, but looked at other Ri/Ry names (Riley, Ryder, Rylan/Ryland, etc) and none of them really jumped out at me

What about Rye or Rai? (pronounced the same)

Suggestions:
Rollo
Tycho
Urban
Nicodemus
Boaz
Naphtali
Japheth
Lazarus
Zacchaeus
Nehemiah
Finlo
Tadhg (pr like Tiger without the R)
Eamon (pr AY-mun)
Lughan (pr LOO-un)
Remus
Marat
Laszlo
Thibo
Nestor
Zoran
Lorcan
Tiernan
Isambard
Nazareth
Jericho
Zion
Somerled
Amaury
Gulliver
Thelonius
Severn
Trent
Grover
Thane
Cyprian
Conal (pr Cunnal)
Merrick
Cedar
Devereux
Loyal
Denali
Caius
Raftery
Justus
Timer
Aslan
Trey
Faust
Satchel
Ulysses
Loic
Van
Truman
Lennox
Jacoby
Jethro

mathanxiety · 26/02/2025 17:19

*Timer = Timur

user1471538283 · 26/02/2025 17:35

My DF named his sister and they were both so pleased so maybe you could ask your DC?

I named my DS and his DF chose his second name. Would that work?

heroinechic · 26/02/2025 17:42

I asked chat GPT based on your name suggestions and got:

  1. Asher
  2. Dorian
  3. Lennox
  4. Kai
  5. Atlas
  6. Griffin
  7. Jasper
  8. Silas
  9. Xander
10. Finn

And based on your husband's suggestions I got:

  1. Kian
  2. Zayne
  3. Zephyr
  4. Kyler
  5. Ryker
  6. Jaxon
  7. Zayden
  8. Kairo
  9. Zion
10. Raiden
ASuitableName · 26/02/2025 17:53

Cormoran
Senan
Cassius
Nathaniel

HumerousHumous · 26/02/2025 17:56

Sorry if this has been suggested but have your other boys got middle names? Often middle names are given when you know you can’t give a child two first names so you use one of the names you like as a middle name. Perhaps one of your sons’ middle names, if they have them, could be an option as you are finding it so hard?

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