Using name in same family of names

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My husband and I are expecting our first child later this year. We have always loved the name Seamie (we are irish). A number of years ago my brother in law and his wife (irish and american/irish) tragically lost their baby boy Jamie at birth. Both of these names come from the same family of names Seamus, Shay etc. We would ask them if they would mind us using the name Seamie but before we do I'd like to hear others opinions . We don't want to cause any bad feelings and of course wouldn't use it if they weren't OK with it. Do you think it's OK to even consider the name?

Yes 100% you can use the name! And to add, I think it's a beautiful name, I love it. Good choice.

It's not an entirely different name. I think you can use it , but speak to your brother and his wife first so they are forewarned.

I agree with @IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads .

No I think it’s too close…however, if you go with Seamus and then use it as a nickname.

I'm going to go against the other posters - no I don't think you can use this name and I would park it. It would be strange enough to have first cousins called Jamie and Seamie but I think it's too much to ask of them given their little boy died. You'll have your Seamie but they won't have their Jamie.

Pick another name.

I wouldn't do it because yes it is the same name and I just wouldn't name my baby after their dead cousin.

I think maybe you need to be Irish to understand the name similarities here?

As a Brit, I see and hear two totally different names

I’m Irish and think they’re too similar, sorry.
Different forms of the same name, but the bigger problem is they rhyme and so sound very similar.

The names actually rhyme @sel2223 so you could be right about that 😉

The names rhyme, and they're both basically "James".

OP, I'd ask, but I'd be prepared with a second name if they think it's too close or if they hesitate.

(I always associate the name with an Irish language school comic 'Seimi Sirriam'.)

Actually, scratch that - I think you should go back to the drawing board. Even if they're nice and polite and you go ahead, you'll always wonder if they were just too gobsmacked to say what they really felt.

I think it would probably cause them additional unnecessary pain. I would find another name.

Find another name. I think it would be fine for cousins, but far too difficult for them, given their child died.

Agree. If Jamie had lived then it would be fine but his death is going to be a terrible wound for them both. Do you really want to risk opening it up again?

It’s hard lines you’ve always liked it but IMO it’s not worth it. My SIL had a miscarriage, and had referred to the baby as their grandfather’s name. It’s unisex. I was actually pregnant first, her chosen name was a version of my husband’s name and we’d also always intended to use a version for our son - but that put it right off-limits forever after.

I wouldn’t ask her either cos I’d personally feel a right dickhead saying ‘no’ even if it broke my heart to hear it. I was worried she’d feel she had no choice but to say ‘go ahead’ and feel terrible.

There are loads of names. If Seamus or James or whatever is a family name you could maybe have Seamus as a middle name, at a push.

To an English person they've different names but after reading the Irish pov I wouldn't use it if I were you.

I don't think there's any way you could use it. They aren't just "from the sam family of names", even as an English person I know that they rhyme. It would be awful for them I think.

That's what I'm talking about, they don't rhyme in my accent (or I may be pronouncing them incorrectly?)

I read them as 'Jay-mee' and 'Sea-mee'

It’s Jaymee and Shaymee.
You’ve been mispronouncing Seamie.

Thought that might be the case, that's why I said I think I'd have to be Irish to understand.
Thanks for clarifying

No problem at all @sel2223.
Seamie (or Séimí) is a short version of Séamus (Shame-us), which is the Irish form of James.

I wouldn't use the name or ask them about using the name. IMO it's insensitive to ask because it puts pressure on them to agree (even if you say no pressure!) and in all likelihood it will cause them distress.

I know no one owns a name, and if their son was alive I'd be saying it's fine to use the name, but given the circumstances I'd find something else x

Thank you.

In this case, no, I wouldn't be using that name if I were the OP.

They sound far too similar OP - the "family of name" thing is irrelevant, it's how similar sounding they are when said out loud.

You will be naming your baby a name that everytime they hear it they're going to be reminded that their baby isn't there to share that moment - it's going to cause so much unnecessary additional pain.