Different pronounciations of same name

[Nc1204]

Im 33 weeks with our first baby, a little girl. One of our front runners for names is Talia but I'm from the South and husband is from the North so we, and our families, would naturally pronounce it differently.

(Think Southern v northern pronunciation of "bath")

Trying to decide whether this should be a deal breaker. I'm going back and forth between thinking it would piss me off every single time my in-laws pronounce it their way, or that I'm completely overthinking it and it would be a non-issue.

Anyone had a similar experience or just want to share an opinions??

It’s my cousin’s name and I pronounce it how her family pronounced it ‘Taaahlia’. Obviously she now says it for herself.
It depends how stubborn the family would be in terms of pronouncing it!

I think once she is here and you're used to hearing it said your way it will really jar when said differently

sounds like it is already pissing you off - choose another name.

In the North it will probs get shortens to Tally

I'm Northern and wouldn't pronounce it with an R in it. Nor would I say barth instead of bath or grarse instead of grass. It's not deliberately mispronouncing a name like Mee-gan or Meg-an for instance, it's just my way of saying the same name as you in my own accent. If it's annoying you now it's only going to get worse, I'd consider another name instead.

It depends how stubborn the family would be in terms of pronouncing it!

It's not about being stubborn, it's just accents and vowel sounds. I am Scottish and have an a in my name that I pronounce more like an e. I can't even make the noise English people make when they pronounce it but it doesn't upset me, that's just their accent. My SIL is italian and says a very long vowel sound for the a, that doesn't upset me either. My name is very common across Europe and people pronounce it differently everywhere, only an arse would insist it is said in their regional accent. In fact the only thing that annoys me is people trying to copy my accent when they say it.

To give a different perspective - I am from NI, so Talia would be pronounced with a short ‘a’ like in bath - rather than the longer ‘a’ as in baaath. If I was to try to pronounce it the way you do, it would sound so fake - like I was imitating your accent, because that long ‘a’ sound isn’t in any words I say - it’s completely unnatural to me.

I generally think that if you choose a pronunciation of a name that other people should go with what you choose (Nigh-O-Me vs Nay-O-Me vs Nay-omi etc) but I do think you have to take into account natural accents. We’ve had to do it. We have a DC with an ‘r’ in the middle of their name and as I speak with a rhotic accent, as do all those around us here in NI, we pronounce that ‘r’. My in-laws live in the south of England though and speak in a non-rhotic accent so they pronounce the name completely differently. It wouldn’t ever have entered my head to ask/make them pronounce it the “right” way - it would be totally fake for them. (And probably quite hard for them to do)

edited to add that I have cross-posted with other people who have said basically the same as me - so not really a different perspective after all!

I am from the north and don't know anybody who would pronounce it in the same way as we all say the a in bath because that isn't the name! Literally never heard the name pronounced that way in my life!

I dont think it would bother me, as it’s just an accent thing, not a mispronunciation as such. But I get why it might bother you, and so is there another name you like that would avoid that problem?

I have a friend called Dalia. She’s originally northern, so all her family pronounce it ‘Dallia’. She lives in the South now, so friends (and her husband!) pronounce it ‘Darlia’. She doesn’t care which she gets! She’s pretty chilled out though. I think if you’re more uptight about that sort of thing then you need to choose another name.

I am northern and I would say Taahlia. Its prettier than Tal-ia

I think you can teach your child to not care tbh. My name is always misspelled, I choose not to care about it. People often need a couple of goes at DS1’s name before they get it.

We have Talia down the road - Tally-a.

Is it 'Orla', @HOTTOGOisastupidsong? I can think of so many Irish/NI people who contemplated this and discarded it as the non-rhotic 'r' mangled it.

I agree, OP, I think it it's going to annoy you if it will be regularly pronounced differently because of relatives' natural accents, it might be best to think again.

I know I stopped considering names beginning with 'Th' when I thought about people pronouncing them as 'F' where we were living at the time.

I'd try and find another name.
It's bothering you already, and she's not even here yet.

My name has a similar A sound in the middle and some people pronounce it as a short A (preferred) and some with a long one. It has never bothered me.

The slight difference in pronunciation wouldn't bother me - its just part of life's rich pattern. But isn't Talia short for Natalia?

Does it matter? My nephew is an Alexander. My brother pronounces it differently to my SIL because he has a Southern "ah" sound and she has a Northern "a" sound. Neither are wrong.

The r in my name would be pronounced more in some accents than others. There are some where it sounds like an extra y in being inserted after the first letter. Again, none of these are wrong.

Tallulah?

Would you and your husband pronounce it the same way as each other?

If you like it said either way, then go for Talia.
You will hear it most that way your household says it .. and she will learn that pronunciation.

It depends on how much this will bother you.

Ds has a name that's pronounced differently in English and Danish (I amDanish) it's not hugely different similar to your 2 pronunciations. Having said no to several names as the difference is huge ( like Christian and Frederick) we went with Conrad
In English Con RaD. I'm Danish Conrad. Barely able to hear the D. No emphasis on the R

It hasn't bothered me and as he grew I found I used the Danish more as he woild hear that over friends yelling for him. He says he likes the 2 different versions too.

Surely your families and friends etc would just pronounce it the way that you initially pronounce it?

Name your kind what you want and accept people have different accents and may pronounce things differently.