Whay do peopel give their children 'unusual" names?

[seeker]

I am prepared to bet (unfortunately there is no way of testing my theory so I am on pretty safe ground) that the vast majority of children would much rather be one of 2 Toms or 3 Emilys in their year at school than the only Halcyon or Sequoia.

I also think that people are very disingenuous when they insist that they are choosing made up or off the wall names so that their children are the only one in their year. I have a Grace, who is one of 2 in a school of 1420 girls,and a Patrick, who is the only one in a school of 430 children. I don't know why people choose off the wall names, but uniqueness can't be the real reason.

OK obviously all children are unique, that was shorthand, sorry - I don't mean that having a unique name makes you unique in every way, or vice versa. Just that some people think that that particular kind of uniqueness is a nice thing to have.

And btw you can be called Catherine/Kathryn/Katharine or Graeme/Graham etc etc and still go through life spelling your name for everyone.

(My DS is not called Sequoia in case anyone's wondering)

I think that you should name your child because you like it-other opinions don't matter.
If I was having a baby I wouldn't come on to the naming thread and ask people if they liked it! Some will and some will be very negative. In RL I wouldn't dream of telling someone that I didn't like their choice but on here, if asked, I will be honest!
My personal dislike is anything made up,anything not spelt correctly, surnames as first names and the 1920's names that seem to be making a comeback like Elsie, Ivy,Ruby and Sidney but that is just me. I don't expect people to agree!
If the DC is outgoing and confident they can anything carry anything off-you should just bear in mind that the DC might be shy and retiring!

But you are making a pretty big choice on behalf of your child, snowleopard. I think that imposing your views on another person like this is a bit risky. OK, I know parents impose their views on their children in lots of ways, but all other things being equal, I don't think it's a good idea. I think they should be able to be themselves - giving them a name that means that people have made judgments about them before they've even met them strikes me as being unfair.

I have been looking into family history and there is a name that goes down the generations; now that I am an adult I would love it because it is unusual. When I told my mother she said 'you wouldn't have wanted it as a child' and sadly-to be completely honest-it would have been embarrassing as a DC, because I liked to blend into the background at that stage.

They may judge Grace or Patrick - but they WILL judge Sequioa. Why give them ammunition?

It seems to me that with so very many names (both common and rare) to choose from there should never be a need to make one up. I occasionally am asked if my parents made up my name and it pleases me to be able to say that it dates to the thirteenth century. In the same way dd likes to be able to say she was named after her great-grandmothes, or ds likes to say that he was named after a famous king of England. I would hate to have to say it was where I was conceived or it was the first thing my parents saw unless there was a cultural reason that that was so (my nephew has a middle name that means the day of the week he was born in Ghananian, a tradition in his mother's family, and that's cool, I think). I think the place for weird and wacky names is second names, which you can choose to embrace or ignore, or family nick names which can be dopped over time or adopted if you really like them. Of course now I live in the States I'm sure there will be more silly names than sensible ones so I guess I'll get used to it .

Hmm seeker did you even read my first post? As I said, we chose an extremely unusual, possibly unique name - but the short version is normal so DS can choose. I never said anything about "imposing my views" - I just meant that the parents' general values will probably rub off, that's pretty normal isn't it?

Also you are so convinced you are right that people with unusual names will be picked on and that it's so much fairer for a child to have a normal name. That's just your opinion and it only applies for people for whom standing out in any way and not being resolutely normal is a bad thing.

Anyway as hatrick says, every name tells a story and gives other people a preconception, for whatever reason. As I like unusual names, if I hear yet another new baby has been called Tom or Adam or Emily I prejudge on that as well. I think "oh no how boring" - just as you think "oh no how cruel" if you hear about a Sequoia.

Hopefully we can all rise above our preconceptions and transcend our names, of course. But you it's daft to OP whining about people's "disingenuous" reasons for choosing wacky names and then get shirty when someone takes you up on it.

"Whining"?
"Shirty"?

Where, precisely?

Did I say that I thought a child would be picked on for a "unique" name? I don't actually. Did I say I thought it was cruel? I didn't say that either!

And I agree that it's good to have a name that it's unlikely that anyone else in your class has. As I have said several times I think you can be original without going down the Halcyon route (I've got tired of typing Sequoia)

I think it is unwise to assume that because you are either wacky or conservative your child will wish to be the same. Once children are at school the influence of their peers should not be underestimated. I'm not talking about out and out teasing or bullying, more the sense of self they will develop, part of which is influenced by their peers. So it may matter more the area you live in and the school environment you choose. In some places being called Halycon may go completely unnoticed or be a positive thing, whilst in others it could make a child very uncomfortable. I think flexibility in names is important. In the same way I would avoid choosing a name that was very associated with any stereotype - ie one of the virtues, or something very butch or feminine. Children should be able to grow into their names, not be formed by them. However I suspect that as someone with a very unusual name I have stronger opinions on this than most!

"Did I say that I thought a child would be picked on for a "unique" name?"

yes, you did.

"they WILL judge Sequioa. Why give them ammunition?"

I didn't say they would be necessarily picked on by their peers. I said people would judge them. I was talking about adults and teachers and employers and people they meet all through life. When you choose a name for your baby, you are also naming an adult.

judging people is a way of picking on them. Adults make judgements on all sorts of ridiculous things. You can't make your child fantastic in everyones eyes because of the diversity of people. Lots of people will judge Sequoia as they consider it to be 'not quite our sort' but lots of people will think 'not another Emily, parents are boring so she will be too'. You can't win so pick a name you like.

one of mine has an unusual name

i gave it to him because i wanted to

its no more complex than that

yes he likes his names (hes no baby now)

no he doesnt get bullied over it

Judging is not the same as picking on.

I think it it extremely unlikely that anybody will meet an Emily and think "parents are boring, so she will be too"

But this thread is on the brink of getting unpleasant, so I will say good night.

test

well MY name is different and i embrace it!

I LOVE naming my children and DELIGHT in giving them unique names

it is RUBBISH the spelling argument

Fred/freddie/freddy
Milli/Milly/Millie

Why?

because we love them!

Well I thought DD's was unusual - Aaliyah but turns out there's 1 in my extended family (step cousin or something like that) One in the neighbours family and I'm sure I heard another one being mentioned by my family today! nevermind

when i was at school there was about 5 tracys in the class

now most kids don't want to be called

emily c
emily t
emily s
emily w
emily r

iykwim!

tbh it seems that kids get picked on or hate really boring names and really unsual names - just give them something in the middle!!

Hatrick - I have no idea. That's why I started the thread. But as I've said several times, it can't be because they want their child to be the only one in their year with that name. I can, without stopping to think, give you 10 names which would achieve that without also giving the child a lifetime of "Sorry, I didn't catch that?" "That's unusual!" "How do you spell that?""I've never heard that before!" Which I think would be at best mildly irritating and at worst deeply embarrassing. You can't be sure that your child is going to be the sort of confident, outgoing person who can carry off being called `Sequoia"

I had too-late worries about calling my dd Grace - it would be awful to be called Grace if you were the sort of person who can't see a cup without dropping it, and who trips over your own feet whenever you try to walk never mind dance. And she was an extraordinarily fat and ugly baby, so it wasn't looking good.
Fortunately she isn't now!