Did you keep your name choice secret til birth?

[JuniperGem]

Currently 32 weeks pregnant with our first, and thought we had settled on a name choice for our DS. My plan was to keep our name choice a secret until he was born to avoid any reactions or opinions but my husband accidentally let it slip to our friends last night. (“when xxx is older…”) He didn’t even realise until I gave him a look and our friend said “So, xxx?”

He felt (feels) really bad about it and immediately moved on saying “Uhh… pretend I didn’t say that” while I tried to cover by saying we were trying out names and this was the current one but might not be the final one… but… it is. Or at least it was. I feel really upset about it this morning and almost feel like changing it, especially because our friends didn’t react or say anything complimentary about the name. Maybe they just tried to follow his wishes and ignore it as if he didn’t say a name but I just feel like our choice has been spoiled now by the way it happened… It doesn’t feel special any more, it feels tainted.

I’m probably overreacting due to hormones and it’s still a good name. I guess I’m just looking for emotional support as I don’t want to further make my husband feel bad or guiltier than he already does by telling him how upset I am that it’s no longer our secret to announce in the way I had wanted.

Did anyone else plan to keep their name a secret but it didn’t work out that way? Xx

Yes - but only because I didn’t want any negative reactions to put me off. But luckily it sounds like you didn’t get these - just “blah” which to be honest is probably what most people feel about other people’s names (outside of a baby name board, where you are more likely to find name obsessed people like me 🤣).

The only exceptions to that “ blah” reaction in RL might be to more uncommon names (where the reaction risks being a bit more marmite), or perhaps with a popular name that people love because it’s also the name of a friend/family member/their pet.

I’d stick with the name you love too (unless there’s some obvious teasing potential or something but that doesn’t sound like the case here) - you’ll get enough positive reactions to your baby themselves once they’re arrived.

I would honestly really try not to worry about this, when we settled on a name we honestly couldn't have given less of a shit as to what other people thought lol so we happily told everyone! I've seen people on mumsnet criticise my boy's name on a couple of baby names threads I've seen, people have strong opinions on diminutives not being proper names and I still don't care! We love his name but appreciate everyone has different tastes, it's such a personal choice. I've seen/read about names that I think are boring that are probably considered classic names but everyone is always going to have different opinions. Just stick with your name and don't worry about it at all!

Nope, didn't share the names at all really, I didn't want monogrammed stuff just in case we changed our minds (and we didn't know the sex with first baby).

My FIL told everyone in his local I was pregnant before my husband could tell his own friends (husbands friends were there at the pub) which got my back right up so we didn't share anything with him again.

Names are personal to you, and nobody else's opinion should matter. Not sharing early means nobody gets to have an opinion!!

I didn’t tell till DCs were born, it felt private and personal between me & husband. It was also before your were told the sex of the child before birth

I'd be pretty disappointed to get zero reaction.

What's the name? Is it pretty mainstream? Maybe it's a one that's nice but not that notable?

Yes.

My DH got to announce the name along with safe arrival and birth weight.

We didn't even have a name until she was born and we were in the hospital

Thanks to all the kind replies, I think it just threw me as we took so long to find any name we were both happy with and still not completely confident on it so the situation just added to my doubt and bad feelings around naming, along with feeling emotionally fragile during pregnancy anyway!

I think we will stick with it probably if it still feels right when he is born :)

To those who wrote unkind replies, what did you get out of spending the time writing those and insulting me - I had asked for emotional support and already admitted I was probably overreacting and hormonal? Have you never been pregnant and emotional? I hope you find better ways to spend your time in future.