Not sure I chose the right baby name!

[CuriousGeorgie3]

10 weeks pp here and I’m starting to worry we chose the wrong baby name. We finally settled on a name at around 6 months pregnant and referred to DS by that name for around 2 months but I then started to have doubts. This name was Jonah. The main doubts I had was that it doesn’t sound right with our surname. I shared these doubts with DH and we started to discuss other names and ended up going into labour without a name set in stone.

We discussed trying out a few names for a few days before deciding on one, but I think the pressure got to us when everyone was asking for baby boys name so we ended up announcing his name the day after he was born before really trying any out. I’m reluctant to say the name because I know it’s a name that will likely get a few negative comments which probably won’t help the situation.

I do really like his name, but worry about the wearability of it on an adult which was always a doubt I had about this particular name. The opinions from family and friends have generally been really positive about his name, so it’s not like that has had any impact. I also find myself thinking should we have called him Jonah quite often, and I’m already thinking about using Jonah should we have another boy in the future.

Did any of you experience similar? Would you consider changing it?

Absolutely fab name op. Nobody uses his full name every time do they?

You dismissed Jonah for not going with your surname, which is a very valid consideration. Don't saddle your child with something awkward.

Do you like Joseph? Josiah? Do they go better with your surname?

Basically, you can change it if it definitely doesn't feel right, but I wouldn't go back to something you dismissed for a legitimate concern.

With regards to the 'wearability' of the current name into adulthood, we can only truly advise there if we know the actual name. What I will say though is that cutesy shortforms are really in right now so, if it's something ie/y, there will be loads of adults called those names by the time your child reaches adulthood. By then it will feel very normal.

There are many jobs where people introduce themselves by full name to clients. A bad combination can lead to embarrassment, which isn't fair to saddle a child with.

Obviously we don't know what the full name is to feed back whether it's ok or not, but if OP and their partner both feel it's not that's enough to rule it out imo as it definitely will be an issue for the child in the future if their full name sounds silly.

I have an 8 year old Jonah and while I can't comment on how it fits with your surname, I just wanted to say that we and he have never had anything but compliments on his name! It's my most favorite boys name and is, in my opinion, the perfect balance of unusual but not ridiculous or unheard of!

If you ruled out Jonah because it doesn’t go with your surname then I would not use it.
I agree with Boleyn that cutesy type names are common enough so will sound perfectly fine.

It’s very common to feel this way PP and it’s not always about the name itself. It can be a sign you have PNA or PND.
I felt this way with my daughter and spent months agonising over whether to change her name to one I’d loved in pregnancy.
Something kept holding me back from
changing her name, and in the end we decided to add that name as additional middle name.

3 years on, I love her name as does she, I still get pangs of what ifs, but I’m happy with the decision we made. When they’re small their name feels like such a big part of them but as they grow and develop into their own person it has less significance. They also make that name their own.

If you’re really unhappy with the name and your partner is onboard with changing it it’s a really simple process. It’s much more common than you’d think and although it will
feel like a really big deal, no one will care and everyone would soon forget it had even happened in day to day.

Does Jonah clash with your surname, or do they just not flow together perfectly?

I would change a first name that clashed or rhymed with the surname, however otherwise I wouldn’t worry too much. I have an awkward surname that only really sounds good with one-syllable names, but didn’t stop me choosing a longer first name for my DD.

Jonah is fine as a name for an adult, so no worries there. That said, you both ought to feel comfortable with your DS’s name and if you really want to change it to something else, maybe you should.

I don't my DD's initials, they aren't rude - just clunky. It doesn't matter too much. I let DH pick the name because I was too knackered to care. It's not my favourite name in the world. But it's fine and works.

@Augustisnearlydonesogoodbyesun , Most of the time you are only 'first name' to your family and close friends.

At school, names that are duplicated are Firstname Surname or Firstname Initial.

At work, most people are Firstname Surname. The only ones who aren't are the ones with unusual first names.
Even names that aren't particularly overused can sometimes be duplicated.
I work with 3 women with the same first name (e.g, Laura), and two of them have surnames that start with the same letter.
Some of the men have common names (e.g. Mark), but even though they're the only ones, they tend to be Firstname Surname.
If I see the first name only, I think 'Who's Mark? Oh, Mark Adams!'
(not actual name).

@CuriousGeorgie3 , if it is something like Jonah Jones, Jonah Ferrari (D'y'own a ferrari?), Jonah Brown or Jonah Attwood (D'y'own a rat ...) change it.
Keep an eye on your mental wellbeing as name regret can be a symptom of PPD.
It's easy to change a baby's name. You can get the birth certificate changed (but only once) up until the baby is 12 months old.

Apologies, I thought you had called him Jonah. Jonah is fine. If your DS has a cutesy name, he'll fit in just fine with the Alfies, Teddys, Archies, Evies, Ellies, etc in his age group.

If you gave him a little boy nick name like Teddy or Billy instead of Edward or William, you should change it.

He doesn't know his name. If you want to change it, do so. Other people will get over their surprise in about five minutes. It's not a big deal.

Jonah is nice but if it clashes with your surname then maybe you did the right thing.
Do you like Christopher, Moses, Simon or Thomas?

OP, I don’t personally agree with this and the ONS name stats would suggest many people don’t.
You don’t have to give a longer version of a name, particularly if you never intend to use it, but if you think that will help, go for it.

Completely valid opinion, but that’s all it is, someone else’s opinion.

@BettyBardMacDonald, just posting for another perspective as I know when I struggled with how I felt about DD name, comments like this would have really impacted me and fed into my anxiety.
I actually had the opposite, have a full name and felt should have given a shortened version based on others opinions and comments

Thank you all for your advice! Turns out the dilemma was taken out of my hands. My sister gave birth yesterday and used the name Jonah, so I can no longer change it to that even if I decided I wanted to. She was aware of my dilemma, but ultimately I chose a different name so can’t be annoyed!