Should I change my baby’s name?

[Koalie]

Helllp?
My son is due to start nursery in a couple of months - he is 8 months old at the moment. My husband and I had his name picked out for years before he was born because we both loved it. However, since we named him we’ve realised that it’s one of the top names in the country and we’re hearing it pop up EVERYWHERE around where we live. There are already 3 little boys with the same name at his nursery!!
I am seriously considering whether we should start calling him by a shortened version of his middle name which we also really like (but not as much) and ask the nursery to do the same before he starts being known by his real name to everyone. I am thinking of him - I would have hated to have the same name as others in my class at school and have to stick the first letter of my surname on the end so that everyone could differentiate.
Please could you all give me your thoughts? Am I being silly? What would you do?
X

He won't care until he's much older. Children usually have strong opinions about their name in teenage years, then, after that, he might not care anymore. He can also start to use middle name later in life, if he wish so.

Honestly... I'd much rather a common nice name than a 'rare' name that isn't so nice.

My brother has a v common name (at the time) and was known as his initials or different nn as so many at school, but now he's older there's not so many about and I'm sure is grateful to have a nice name.
In fact, he must love it as his son is called exactly the same.

You are being silly. His name is his name and you chose it for a reason.

There being others at his nursery with the same name is a coincidence, it happens and can happen to any name. Whilst it's statistically more likely to happen with a popular name, it's very possible for children to be the only one despite having a top 10 name and it's possible for names to be duplicated even if they're well out of the top 100. You can't guarantee these things so it's a total overreaction to want to change his name (which he knows, it's his identity) just because you've come across others. What happens if the new name gets duplicated at school? Will you change it again?

Chances are, he really won't care. I was one of a few at school and it did me absolutely no harm. In fact, I LIKE having a very normal name. It has never been a problem. It's not as identifiable online, for starters. Not everyone wants a name that makes them stand out so you can't predict what your son will want. His name is his name now though. Call him whatever nickname you want but I definitely wouldn't go as drastic as changing his name completely simply because you've come across others.

Funnily enough, the only duplicated name in my class next year is way out of the top 100 and I could sense that both mums were quite peed off when they realised but what can you do? You can never predict these things. Duplications are rarer these days than when we were at school, due to parents choosing from a much wider pool of names, but it will always happen occasionally and there really is no predicting which names it will be. On the flipside, I can think of loads of kids I've taught who have ended up being the only one in the whole school despite having a statistically common name. The top names only get a few thousand registrations a year now. Generally, they'll be well spread out across the country. The chances of 3 in a class are actually very slim and is just an unfortunate coincidence.

Leave his name, top names are top for a reason.

Definitely leave it! My son has a top 5 name and there were 3 of them in nursery but now he’s the only one with that name in the school, but there are two boys with the same unusual name in his class! It’s very hit and miss and you could change it then find he’s in a class with someone with that name, but not with the original one!

It really won't be as common as you think.

You are just attuned to it.

One of mine has a top 5 name. There were 3 of them at nursery but he’s the only one in his year at school.

Leave his name, if he wants to change it when he’s older he’s got the choice. Also when they’re at primary school they all refer to each other by their first and last name regardless anyway!

You are being daft.

It means you've picked a great name and other people share you excellent taste.

If your child doesn't like it when Omar he will pick a nickname.

Changing things now is a silly overreaction.

What's the name? We can say if it's really popular or just popular at your nursery.

My first was in ne of four in his class with his name, there was one at every park and playground. By the time he got to junior school there were none in his class and hardly any at all in his secondary school.

Don't worry about it, he's your lovely unique little boy, nothing changes that.

Don’t be daft, it’s popular because clearly other parents love it too. Nothing wrong with having a popular name.

Is it Theo, Alfie or Stanley?! 😁

Do any of those other children live with you?

No?

Then don't change his name. Who cares if other kids are called the same name.

Is it Arlo 🙄?

You’re looking at this through your own, adult perspective. Most children don’t actually mind having classmates and friends with the same name. Most children are just thrilled that they can go on holiday and find a keychain with their name on it in the gift shop - sucks to be you, Ozymandius. Your DS’s name is his name, and he also won’t be at school forever. Besides which, there’s no guarantee that there won’t coincidentally be another child with his rarer middle name in his class throughout his school career, and you’d be pretty deflated that you’d changed to something you liked less only to end up with exactly what you didn’t want anyway.

Who cares. Schools sort this out. When some of my kids went through Isabelle and variants were the most common. Some of them had 4 in a class but that was fixed by teachers assigning - Isabella, Isabelle, Belle, Bella and with one of the years teachers also moving into Izzy. It all works out, and they will find their ‘known groove’ themselves in teenage/uni years, no need to solve it all for them.

Hahaha! People getting curious. His name is Leo ☺️ and his middle name Vincent so we could refer to him as ‘Vinnie’ (I didn’t mean to suggest we’d permanently change his name.)

Thank you all for your replies ! Definitely food for thought. I think maybe we will keep Vinnie in the back pocket for now and let him use it later if he decides to. X

I know of more babies and pre-schoolers named or known as Vincent/Vince/Vinnie than I do those called Leo. It’s pretty popular in my part of London and I’d suspect elsewhere, too.

Most children don’t actually mind having classmates and friends with the same name

Unfortunately that's not true. Some do care.

Your son is still under age one so his name could be changed easily.

So do I.

My DD doesn't have a common name. However there is another girl who is older than her and lives near by with the same name. I found out when my DD was about 6 months old and the girl toddled pass with her dad calling her name. They have since met up at a holiday club.

Point I'm making is even if you call him by his middle name there is likely to be another boy with the same name as a first name.

Honestly, it will be fine. My eldest son is Tom. Every second boy was called Tom when he was growing up, and he also has a very very common surname - he was at school with a boy with EXACTLY the same first and second name. He didn't care, nobody cared, and they all were known by nicknames or shortenings. They usually just laughed about it (the only exception was when the health clinic used to get the two Toms mixed up and we'd always have to check they had the 'right' Tom's records in front of them if we went to the doctor).

Leo is a lovely name 🙂 it’s popular for a reason!

My money was on Arlo! Just because that seems to be the top "I had no idea how popular it was when we chose it!" name right now lol

Leo is so much nicer than Vinnie! You prefer Leo, you will keep his name Leo on his birth certificate, so why on Earth would you call him Vinnie? Vinnie isn't even that unusual, vintage ie/y short forms all all the rage right now so there's every chance he won't go through life being the only Vinnie in his circle anyway.

The way I see it, we as parents initially choose a name but then it totally becomes the property of the child in terms of what they wish to be addressed as. We can guide them towards nicknames and short forms we like but ultimately it's up to them. Had you totally gone off Leo that might be slightly different, but I don't think you can really make a decision for your son that he wouldn't want to be one of many, as how do you know how he will feel about that? Young children generally don't care. In fact, most think it's cool to share a name with people as it's an indication to them that their name has universal approval, lots of people must like it to choose it. For every kid that likes having an unusual name, there'll be another who hates that their name makes them stand out as being different. They wonder why don't more people have their name? They question is it because it's not a nice name? We as parents choose something we love, but we genuinely have no idea whether our children will thank us for it or hold our choice against us!

Your son is called Leo. That's a huge part of his identity. The way I see it, the only one who gets to decide whether it's changed at some point in the future now is him. How would you feel if you discovered your parents changed your name at 8 months because they assumed you might prefer something different? It seems odd to be making such a decision for your child, who is as yet far too young to know how he feels. He'll let you know when he's old enough whether it bothers him to know other Leos or not. If it does, he can decide what he'd like to be known as himself.

Of course some care that their name is popular, but many won't. Just like some love having unusual names and others don't. Point is, we have no idea how our children will feel so can only make a decision based on what type of name we want them to have. Nobody can know which type of name their child will actually prefer.

Going unusual is all well and good, when originally choosing a name, but once a child is already named it seems strange to suddenly consider changing it in case they don't like it being popular. If it was that much of an issue, they wouldn't have chosen it. They did, and they still love it and prefer it to their alternative, so a change in these circumstances would be madness imo.

I have an uncommon but not rare first name. It’s never been in the top 100 names although it is much loved on MN name boards ATM. I hated never being able to find things with my name on them in the gift shop 😂 I hated never meeting someone with the same name! Until I went to secondary school and there was another one in my year, one in the year above and another one joined the school a few years later 😂

I also have an uncommon surname. There is someone with same first name and surname combination who lives a few streets from me and we go to the same gym, have the same PT, doctor, dentist…

One of my DC has a name that was in the top 5 when they were born. They’ve never been in a class with a child of the same first name.

You can never tell… Stick with the name you love!

I have a common name, there were several others with the same name in my year at school, honestly I never cared! And it's so easy having a common name which everyone can spell. Sounds a hassle using the middle name. If DS wants to use a different name when he's older, that should be his choice.