Surname?

[S12345678]

Me and the dad aren’t in a relationship. He wants the baby to have his last name and I hate my last name so wouldn’t necessarily want to pass it on. What complications could there be with the baby having his last name, I.e., trouble taking the baby abroad etc?

Could you double barrel the names? I wouldn't isn't to completely miss out my own name if you arent actually a couple any more

I don't have any advice, but I have noticed that many people on Mumsnet seem to have strong opinions on this subject, so hopefully you will get some helpful advice from them.

Change your own surname to one you like (e.g your Nan's maiden name)and give the baby that one.

Don't give the father's name or you will be Baby Smith's name and will get called Mrs Smith a lot. When Baby 2 comes along, you'll be with a different father so it will be another surname. You will need Baby1's dad's permission to change the name, and he'll probably say no.

Agree with JimNast

"Change your own surname to one you like (e.g your Nan's maiden name)and give the baby that one."

Don't give your baby the father's name, especially if you are no longer together. Before anyone says baby is 50% him, you are carrying the baby and you will do the vast bulk of all future care. So make sure baby has your name, current or new! He can change his name if he wants!

This is the way, if you really dislike your current surname. Rather this than giving your baby the surname of a man you aren't with. I'd hesitate to even name him on the birth certificate tbh.

Father’s surname can be the middle name. You and baby should share a surname.

I agree, I think you'd be better to pick something you like and give your child your new surname.

Will the father have 50% custody and be a fully equal, present and responsible parent figure? If yes, then I'd consider it if I really hated my name (don't think it would cause you any legal issues). But if not then no way would I let him give the baby his name.

A friend of mine in a similar position changed her name by deed poll to the Dad's surname and have the baby that name so they all 'matched'. Maybe an option if you hate your last name?

OP is not in a relationship with the father.

@JimNast So? The OP hates her name and doesn't want to give it to the baby, the Dad does want to give his name to the baby, it will no doubt be easier in the future for them all to have the same name. I really don't see what difference it makes that they're not in a relationship.

@CheeseWisely , because it would be weird.

Urgh, that comes across as so desperate if she's not in a relationship with the father.

I'd give the baby your surname 100%, and if you don't like it choose one you do like. Mother's maiden name, your middle name etc. I think it's ridiculous to choose to give your child a different surname when you're not with the father.

@ChildrenOfTheQuorn I think it would come across as more desperate if they were in a relationship.

In this case it was an amicable co-parent relationship, neither of them wanted a romantic relationship with the other, but both equally involved with the child and the same name all round made everything easier.

Since we have no idea what the OP's situation is aside from not being in a relationship, I made the suggestion 🤷🏻‍♀️

What @JimNast said 100%

New name for you and baby. Dad's surname or his choice of middle name maybe.
I definitely would think long and hard before having dad on the registration. You can always re-register to add him later if he is a present and good father to baby, but I wouldn't give him PR from the start.
As a registrar I'd strongly discourage giving a surname other than yours when registering either alone or as an unmarried couple. Can be a total nightmare if you want to change later.
So change of name deed for you now, and baby takes your name when registered.

I would give your baby your surname.

Whether that be a new name you choose for yourself, or current name.

And give baby the father’s name as a middle name.

If the baby is already born you use a new surname and take a few weeks to change yours.

Then if in future you get married or have a baby with someone else keep your own name and use the same naming pattern: Dad’s name as middle name, your surname. So all your children always share your name.

My children had their father's surname before we got married and never had any issues at all with it. Ultimately it's up to you, do you hate your surname that much, or could you pick a new one?

@SparklesandRainbows but you were presumably in a relationship with him at time of children's birth, which means it makes a lot more sense!

OP asked if there was any complications with having different surnames. I simply replied saying I didn't.. that's all I was referring too.

Ah, yeah, that makes sense.

Why would you carry your dc all that time and give birth to name it after the man who did the easy bit?

sorry I haven’t been on this for a while!

what are the implications and benefits to having the dad on the registration?

I think i will definitely end up giving baby my name and not her dads (:

An unmarried father can only be added to the birth certificate if he consents and turns up at the registry office to sign.

If he signs he will have full parental rights and responsibilities so will have a say in schooling, health care, access to the child, trips abroad, even where you live etc etc. So for example, he could apply to court to prevent you from moving house a significant distance away, even if it was for a job or to be nearer your family for support.

If he's not on the birth certificate (either by his choice or yours) he doesn't have automatic parental rights and responsibilities, although he can apply to be added to the BC even if you object. You can still claim maintenance if he's not on the birth certificate.

In either case you can use which ever surname you like - yours, his or something completely different.