Struggling to get used to baby name.

[NameChangeButNot]

Hi All. Name changed but regular poster.

Our baby is a couple of weeks old and we're registering them tomorrow.

We chose a name that we'd both kept circling back to during pregnancy and are (were?) very happy with.

Now baby is here though I'm finding it hard to settle into their name, if that makes any sense. It doesn't seem to roll easily off my tongue and I'm largely using a totally unconnected pet name when talking to them or about them to DH.

We have an adult friend with the same name (who's tickled pink to have a little namesake) and at the moment when I hear our baby's name my first instinct is to think of them. This wasn't the case when we were choosing names.

I absolutely don't want to change it, DH loves the name, and so do I on paper. I'm just interested to know if anyone else found it took a little while for a baby name to feel right and the association between the name and the little person to really bed in?

For reference it's a very standard classic name. Not at all off the wall and no crazy spelling or pronunciation.

Thanks in advance.

I was exactly the same . Ds had to stay in hospital after he was born for a month . Every time I had to buzz into the ward and say I was “his name’s “ mum it felt odd, really odd . Then he “grew” into it and now I can’t imagined him as anything else. It suits him perfectly and I love it .

Have a middle name that is easy to use, then you can use that as a family name and have your beautiful first name too.

I think we called DS by his in utero nickname for weeks if not months after he was born.

both my babies were called “baby” a lot for a good while before the names bedded in. I still love both names. I think it’s really normal.

Yes I definitely had this. A friend chose the name I wanted for her baby a few months before and the whole house kept calling out baby his name by mistake! Took a little while and now he's totally his name. It's not my favourite name in the world but it's him, you know?

It takes a while to get used to a new baby having any name!! Especially if your baby has the same name as someone you know. Keep using the name, your baby will soon become the "default" owner of the name.

When referring to my newborn I kept going to call her a name that is liked pre pregnancy, but hadn’t even been a serious contender, rather than her actual name! After reading threads on here I was so worried I had name regret but I just needed to adjust and let her name become her. It’s perfect now and so completely her name!

Same!! My children have quite “grown up” names, which felt a bit much on a teeny baby. They’ve grown into them (and developed nicknames over time) and now I can’t imagine them being called anything else.

I remember it feeling really weird that DS had an actual name for weeks, if not months. Before he was born, he'd been a sort of abstract concept more than anything so it took me a while to realise he was an actual person! I also had this weird fear that I'd get his name wrong too or forget what it was so I just called him 'baby' for ages too.

Thank you SO much for the answers and reassurance. I no longer feel like I'm going to have a big wobble outside the registry office.

I'll keep using the name (and the pet name!) and hopefully soon it'll become default and second nature. Our friend with the same name also has an unconnected nickname, so I'll try and train myself to think of them only as that!

I bought a little money box with the baby's name on the other day and having that on display actually helps me to feel connected to it, so maybe I'll seek out a few more personalised bits too.

I loved writing down my baby’s full name in the beginning of story books, “This book belongs to…” I think it helped me connect the baby to his name at bedtime. Even though he was just referred to as “my wee mister” instead of his actual name for the first while. He’s 7 now and loves his name!

My DH chose my daughter’s name because I named our 2 sons, it just worked that way before anyone shouts, we both had names but when they were born my name suited them better. When I was expecting my daughter I said we would go with his name whatever.

it took me ages to get to like it, it was ok but not perfect I didn’t feel it suited her. She’s an adult now, and sometimes I think I wished we gone for something different, but then remember it wouldn’t work because she grew into her name and that who she is.

Yes, I was the same. I just felt silly referring to him by his name - he was 'the baby' for weeks, if not months, and then 'Spud' for ages during his Phil Mitchell phase. I didn't comfortably use his name until he started to be more of a person rather than a little pink limpet - once he started sitting up, babbling/signing and showing an interest and his own little personality, it was as if he'd grown into it, although DH and I will both occasionally say 'I'll just go and check if the baby's awake' and he's 17 and 6ft 1 now!

Thank you all. We registered yesterday so all official now, and I'll press on with using the name until I become used to it. You've all been so reassuring, the very best side of MN!

@NameChangeButNot I feel similarly! How did this go?

I am a supply teacher so I go into many schools and many classes and take hundreds of different registers. I would say in half the classes I have taught in, there is a child who is called something completely different to the name on the register (ie the name on their birth certificate). It is perfectly acceptable to have two different first names, a formal one and an informal one.

I still feel that one of the biggest decisions you can make in your life is to name your child. That I did it continues to blow my tiny mind.

Yes, it can take time to realise that this little thing is really here and really has a name if its own. But you will get there.