A thought about unusual or made up names

[PeggySioux]

When we gave dd1 a highly unusual name, one of the (many) criticisms that were leveled at us by interfering and rude well meaning family members was "she can't ever have a serious job with that name" and "what if she wants to be a lawyer rather than a pole dancer?" and "the bank manager will laugh at her" (I promise I haven't made those up).

Well, arguably the most powerful woman in the world is called Condoleezza Rice. C'mon... Condoleezza? That's not even a name - it's made up from the Italian musical term con dolcezza meaning "with sweetness". And top it off with Rice?

Hmmm... yet I don't notice anyone refusing her a bank account. In fact, like her or loath her, you can't deny that she gets taken pretty seriously and has done okay for herself.

all of which is true.

fair enough.

But has she done well for herself because of her name, or despite her name, or was the name of no significance to a woman of her character, and was it actually her given name, or a name she has taken on in adulthood?

But what is your point?

I've no idea what the derivation of Condoleeza is. Could well be a proper name in some language I don't speak.

Yes, my point. My point is... I'm not sure really.

I suppose it backs up my theory that once you know someone as a name, you just associate that name with the person and it ceases to be unusual to you.

No one thinks my dd's name is unusual any more because it's just her name. Her friends will grow up always knowing it as a name, and they won't think it any different to the Isobels and Harriets that they know.

I'll think of a better point and get back to you...

You do have to tell us what name you gave your dd to illicit those comments from your family....

Well I would tell you but what if there's a bank manager reading and he laughs at it? A bank manager. Lawks!

I do think it's a worthwhile point to make though. Similarly, on another thread on here someone was a bit :eek: that my child will have a 6 syllable surname (two 3 syllables double-barrelled). It gave me pause for a moment, but then I thought about all the long Sri Lankan names I've seen, or the Mexican double-barrellers. Just because something isn't the cultural norm doesn't make it inherently wrong or without value. So at least now I'll have something to say when interfering well meaning rellies make their opinions known!

Oh no, def no bank managers on this site. Promise. Go on, tell. You can always get it deleted if any bank managers do join.

My firend made up a name for her little girl, it's a gorgeous name and actually has a meanign in latin. I loved it when I first heard it and it's not silly sounding like princess or jermajesty or anything, and it's spelt the way it sounds so not complicated at all imo.

I do think tho, if one is going to make up a name for ones child, if it is very out there, there may be a risk that later in life the child may find it a stumbling block, it's not unheard of for people to change their names at the first available oppurtunity eg celebrity children I think Mia Farrow named one of her children Satchel (who changed it when he was able to) etc.....

QS - (I still don't have a point) but in answer to your first question, I think that the name has no bearing. I think you will either succeed or not. I don't believe there are any adult Cocos or Banjos sitting sadly at home thinking "If only I'd been called Geoffery I'd be driving a Merc and holidaying in St Trop by now".

In fact, I think having a name that sticks out and that people remember can be a big social advantage.

very true..........and you know what, ok "made up" can be a bit . but "unusual"............well surely that is difficult to say in our multicultural world??

My DS's names are "unusual" where we live now, but are pretty common in the country they originate from.....

I get your point but I do think that there is a difference between names like Coco or Kitty and Jermajesty or Tiamarie.

Sorry to be snobby but there are made up names that suggest that the parents are individualists/hippietypes/bit wacky and there are names that suggest that the parents are more likely to be found in front of the tv drinking lager.

Compare River Phoenix and Princess Tiàamii.

I think that children with unusual names will face some predjudice in life, it is up to the parents to try to instill enough self confidence for the child to cope with it.

If the child constantly hears critisism from well meaning family members, this will have a large part of the his/her feelings towards his name.

Eeek! predjudice?

"I think that children with unusual names will face some predjudice in life, it is up to the parents to try to instill enough self confidence for the child to cope with it."

well that's my kids fucked then............

I freely admit to being a bit of a name snob, I think you can blight a child's life if you go for a really unfortunate choice and some ppl are just so desperate to be u-neek; for instance a Judas or a Lolita might just do it.

If there is an unusual name that leaps out I might wonder what that child is going to be like e.g is a Fantasia going to be a live-wire or was she named more in hope than expectation & is a shy wallflower? But you are right, on knowing someone with that name they come to inhabit it.

yes, while I can see it's annoying, I think your family are just trying to point out that a very unusual name can cause problems. It is unlikley that the bank manager will laugh, but I know people with unusual names who absolutely loathe them.

Well, we gave dd a very old, traditional name.... and the number of people who have asked 'Oh- did you make that up?' or 'Is that a boy's name?'

FFS!

It's more likely to be teachers and other associated educational staff who will laugh, not bank managers!

Whats the name then?

But do you not get fed up with seeing the horror in people's eyes when you introduce your DD?

I agree that an odd name ceases to be odd when you know the person whose name it is. The real problem is with those who DON'T know the person (ie bank manager, potential employer, teacher) who may well form prejudices based on the name (albeit unwittingly).

THing is though, someone will always be horrified by every name. Personally I can't stand Elizabeth or Stephanie, I really strongly dislike them both and I probably do display a little flicker of horror when I come across someone who's given their little daughter one of these names. Ultimately it doesn't matter what we all think, it's whether the parents and certainly the child are happy with their name.

/jerry's final thought

i have noticed a disproportionate number of made-up names on cards read out at cbeebies birthday time

I have to say that I am prejudiced against made up names, I can't help it-it is just the immediate reaction- and I do think they will be a handicap in life. There have been studies that show that markers of exam papers are influenced by the name on the paper.

When you say made-up names, do you mean literally brand-new words, like Mukargi or Fwaff? Or real words that just haven't been used as names before, like Lampshade or Tablecloth?

I have an unusual name. Not made up, just foreign. I never met anyone else with the same name until my mid-twenties.
I have spent my whole life having opening conversations along the lines of "I've not heard that before', "how do you pronounce that", "how do you spell that" etc etc.
It may have contributed to me always feeling an outsider, not one of the in-crowd and generally a bit wierd.