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Original poster

Would you use this name in this circumstance?

35 replies

NameNC · 07/04/2024 09:47

Name changed because this is clearly pretty identifying.

DH and I are expecting a baby later in the year.

One of my favourite names for a boy has always been Evan, since I was in my early 20s.

I was married briefly to an awful Man with the surname Evans. I took his name as it was a vast improvement on my maiden name so I was Evans myself for about 8 years or so, before I married again.

Evan goes nicely with our surname and options for middle name, DH knows but doesn't have an issue with the similarity to my ex's / my old surname, but I worry that people who know my history would pick up on the connection and think it strange, or worse some kind of bizarre tribute?

We're really struggling to find a name we both love and this it feels like another one with a barrier to it, but I don't know if I've invented this barrier!

Thanks in advance!

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birkenstockbabe · 07/04/2024 09:51

Could you do Ivan instead?

user1492757084 · 07/04/2024 09:54

The fact that you post this means you will think of the surname connection. Don't use it.

Ewan
Owen
Vincent

ColleenDonaghy · 07/04/2024 09:57

No way, it'll definitely raise eyebrows. It's like you're naming your son after your awful ex husband!

BreakfastAtMimis · 07/04/2024 09:58

If I knew you I would think it was a weird choice, sorry.

Moreteaandchocolate · 07/04/2024 09:58

How about Euan instead?

The posts on here about baby name regret would make me think twice about using a name I had any doubts about, personally.

Flev · 07/04/2024 10:00

Would Ifan work? It's a similar sound but looks very different.

PlasticOno · 07/04/2024 10:01

No.

JamesPringle · 07/04/2024 10:03

I'd use it.

OurfriendsintheNE · 07/04/2024 10:05

I wouldn’t use it

Notreat · 07/04/2024 10:08

I disagree with PP. If you love the name use it. When he is growing up it's unlikely that anyone will make the connection or even know that you were married to an Evans. I have several friends in second marriages and I have no idea what their first husbands surname was.
Unless you have children with your first husband with the surname Evans and you have to keep in touch with him I would forget about it.

SkaneTos · 07/04/2024 10:31

Not a problem. Use the name Evan if you both like it.

SleepingStandingUp · 07/04/2024 10:43

Normally I'd say don't mention names to parents etc before baby is here, but with this one I would. Just mention it and gauge the reaction. Even if it's just to clear the discussion before he comes.

Or as pp suggested, what about Ivan? It's much cooler imo

Nicebloomers · 07/04/2024 11:22

I wouldn’t use it. Like a previous poster suggested Euan/ Ewan would be much less problematic and also a nicer name imo.

Bigearringsbigsmile · 07/04/2024 11:24

No definitely not

MidnightPatrol · 07/04/2024 11:56

I’d probably be wondering who the baby’s dad was TBH.

There are thousands of names you could choose from - surely you can find something else!

Original poster
NameNC · 07/04/2024 12:13

MidnightPatrol · 07/04/2024 11:56

I’d probably be wondering who the baby’s dad was TBH.

There are thousands of names you could choose from - surely you can find something else!

Thats a bit of a stretch (a bleakly hilarious one if you actually knew my ex / me in real life, as anyone who made the connection does) but point taken from responses overall.

I feel like we've been through ALL the names at this point and every time we come to one that we both like there's some barrier or other to it (doesn't work with our surname / common nickname doesn't work with our surname / some kind of association to it / someone we know that we wouldn't want to name after / the MN favourite 'far too popular')

It's starting to get me down a bit.

OP posts:
walkerscrispsarethenuts · 07/04/2024 12:16

Ethan?

Marcipex · 07/04/2024 12:22

I think it sounds as if you have feelings for your ex, or even as if he’s the father.
I mean, people might easily think that.

There must be something else…Euan, Eden, Iain.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 07/04/2024 12:24

I think the first time who knew your old name hear it they’d think twice but then move on. Use it

Original poster
NameNC · 07/04/2024 12:28

Marcipex · 07/04/2024 12:22

I think it sounds as if you have feelings for your ex, or even as if he’s the father.
I mean, people might easily think that.

There must be something else…Euan, Eden, Iain.

To clarify again, no. If that was suggested to any real world friends or family they'd laugh you out of the room, the idea is so patently absurd.

Thanks for the alternative suggestions but I've had a really positive association with the name Evan since long before I met my ex, and it's specific to the name so similar sounding / looking ones just don't have the same draw.

We will continue with our search.

OP posts:
ginasevern · 07/04/2024 12:37

I'd go for it. In years to come (and they go by quicker than you think) people won't know the connection or will have forgotten. They will also get used to your son just being "Evan" in his own right, if that makes sense.

StealthMama · 07/04/2024 15:27

I don't think it matters. I'd use it, it's a good name.

Anyone who does think it's weird can get over it, frankly.

RuthW · 07/04/2024 15:56

Just use it, it's fine

FlatWhite2 · 07/04/2024 16:32

I think it’s a bit strange from an outsiders perspective but like you say, your actual friends and family know the situation and would probably see it’s literally just that you liked the name and it has nothing to do with your ex. If you really love it go for it, at worst it’ll be a little strange to people you sort of know & they’ll get over it in 5 minutes. However if any part of you thinks you’ll regret it, try and put yourself off it.

SkaneTos · 07/04/2024 16:34

Use the name Evan.

You write this

  • One of my favourite names for a boy has always been Evan, since I was in my early 20s
  • Evan goes nicely with our surname and options for middle name
  • DH knows but doesn't have an issue with the similarity to my ex's / my old surname
  • I've had a really positive association with the name Evan since long before I met my ex

Use the name Evan. It's a great name.
If someone has an opinion about it, it says more about them than about you.