Middle name- please talk some sense into me

[Amazinggrace89]

My daughter is 10. I really dislike her middle name to the point where I am obsessing over it. Logically I know there is nothing I can do about it now. I just wonder why on earth I ever chose it. Please talk some sense into me about how middle names don’t matter…

What is it?

You can ask your daughter permission to change it, but that would be on her.
Why do you hate it? Is it related to your ex?

Middle names don't matter. I ADORE my child's middle name (I wanted it as first name but husband vetoed) and I'm gutted that it's never mentioned!

Middle names don't matter. There you go. Hope that helps.

Middle names really don’t matter, definitely don’t worry about it! I’m sure you and your daughter will laugh about it in years to come!

Your DD is 10. What does she think of it?

How did you choose it? It is a family name or a name chosen by the parent who didn't choose the first name etc.?

It’s a name on my husbands side. I think I was so pleased he went with my first choice for her name that I nodded along. Although I could have chosen others…

Honestly, who cares about middle names? I could have thought harder about ours, but I didn't. And frankly I think it's the least of our and our children's worries!

Sorry - i mean you obviously do care, OP. But try to care a little less!

My middle name is Bertha.

Nobody knows, for obvious reasons.

I never even think about it.

My three children all have family names as their middle names. They are middle names because I don’t like them enough to be first names. I can count on one hand how many people outside our immediate family would even be able to tell you what their middle names are.

Middle names matter so little that when my cousin was born a year after me, my aunt gave her the same middle name as me. Because she forgot mine.

Then three years later when my sister was born, my mum gave her the same middle name as aunt's older daughter. Because she forgot cousin's middle name.

Our mums are very close, there was no drama over it, they just forgot their niece's middle names. And they're not very creative.

If it helps, my middle name combined with my first name sounds like a rude word. My parents aren’t from the UK so didn’t realise how it sounded in an English accent.

It used to bother me as a teenager but the only time I’ve ever thought about it as an adult is when I wondered whether anyone would laugh when my full name was used in our wedding ceremony (no one did). I don’t use it except on official paperwork where it’s compulsory. If anything, now it’s a funny story!

If I was really bothered by it I would have changed it by deed poll, or when I got married, but I have never bothered. So if your daughter’s middle name doesn’t form a rude word, I think it’s safe to say middle names don’t matter!

If she likes it then that’s all that matters. If she doesn’t, she could choose something and change it by deed poll. (Worth noting that you might like her choice even less than yours!)

Either way, in a few years time she’ll be an adult and have left home, and you’ll never actually have to see her middle name e.g. on her passport or letters addressed to her or give it when registering her for things etc, and can essentially let it out of your mind.

I don’t know a single one of my friend’s middle names and I honestly couldn’t care less about them. They are never used.

Don’t beat yourself up about it - it will be hidden for most of her life.

Thanks everyone. Such a weird thing to obsess over I know!!

I don't like my middle name, it is fairly trendy at the moment but when I was a child it was old lady. I don't use it, essentially. Very few people who know me as an adult know about it.

Definitely not something to lose sleep over OP! If it helps reassure you, I don't have a middle name - neither do my siblings or the majority of my cousins. Just not a thing in our family, never been a problem, I don't see the point of them.

My mum said the same. She regretted having my middle name as Jessica. I loved the name as I kid and wished it was my first name instead of my name but my mum always said it was my dad’s choice before he died so she kept it though she hated it

Are you feeling ok in yourself? It’s a strange thing to get hung up on 10 years after the fact.
There was a boy in our class whose middle name was Marilyn. If it’s not an odd name I think you’re fine.

I don’t think any of my friends know my middle name and I usually forget I even have one!

Imo middle names should be slightly bonkers and embarrassing, because otherwise what's the point?

Annoyingly the only middle name DH and I could agree on for DD is incredibly dull and not embarrassing at all 😂 (it does have an unusual spelling though, which I'm sure will annoy her as she gets older 😬)

How does she feel about it is the more important point.
I like my daughters middle name a lot, it flows nicely with her first name, but I would have liked a different name but her dad vetoed it. But she LOVES her name. So that’s all that matters.