Choosing the same name as an EX BFF

[mommyandmore]

DD number 2 ✨
Hello!
We have our second daughter on the way. I recently posted about names and got some great suggestions.

I really like the name Elisabeth - a strong name but lots of NN potential. The only problem is that my ex bestie who I no longer speak with but share some mutual pals, named her first this. Whilst I know you can't own a name I also don't want it getting back to her that I've also called her this ...not sure why really. Maybe the thought of her thinking I've copied her or something. Sadly she is this Petty. A part of me thinks it's nothing to do with her and the other keeps a niggle on this. I have loved this name for a long time and we seem to be struggling finding a name we both love, but didn't call my first this for this very reason. Can I have some honest opinions and thoughts on this please?

The other name DH likes and I do too is Florence NN Florrie 🥰

I'm happy for total honestly here...please don't try and protect my feelings 😂

If you really didn’t care you wouldn’t question your decision, would you? I think I would go with a different name.

It sounds like it would bother you, but only you can really say how much. I don't think it's a big deal personally, especially with such a classic name. It's not like it's super rare. And if she's an ex best friend, does her opinion on it really matter? However Florence is also a lovely name. Or you could use a variant like Eliza or Bethany depending on what you like in Elisabeth.

Elizabeth is a gorgeous name. No wonder you love it.
It is so common that everyone has a relative called Liz, Elizabeth, Beth etc.
I don't think your exfriend would think you stole the idea from her.

I think it would bother you. I think it might bother me. DH mentioned a name that I know my ex bf used for his son, we have a few mutual friends we were together 5 years. You might say BF/ Friend is different but I still don't think I would

To be totally honest I think your friend would be really annoyed if you use the same unusual spelling. I would hate an ex-bestie to choose exactly the same unusually spelled name as I had chosen. It's unnecessary with all the names in the world. Mutual friends would think this odd.

Florence is nicer

It's a very common name, I wouldn't give it a second thought. She's not in your life any more so what she thinks is irrelevant.

I think you have every right to use it. I also think however that your ex friend may well think you're copying/still hung up on her etc, and as you're not speaking you can't explain.

So I think you have to decide whether or not that bothers you enough to give up on the name. As she's out of your life hopefully what she thinks won't be relevant enough to bother you, but you need to be honest with yourself about how that will make you feel.

I have an Elisabeth and love it! I also liked Florence. What’s your DD1 called? We have similar taste in names so perhaps I could suggest some others that have similar tone to Elisabeth and go well with DD1?

I understand why you’re reluctant to use Elisabeth but I think you could use EliZabeth.

OP I think as it’s bothering you I wouldn’t go for it. Choose a variation of Elizabeth / Elisabeth for their ‘given’ name rather than a NN - I love Libby as a name in its own right or Beth …. They don’t have to be a shortening or NN for Elizabeth at all then.

@cantbecaught not sure how I managed to quote you above sorry !

Thank you! Our first is Orla 🥰