Naming a boy the same as my ex??

[waltzingintomonday]

I can't decide if it's weird or not to name a boy the same name as my ex? For avoidance of doubt, I'm 33 and broke up with said ex when I was 18, so I know it's a lifetime ago but is it odd?? He was my first/only love until I met my husband aged 22, so I don't know if people (parents, school friends etc) would read into it?! It's a pretty standard name, which I love, but think it might be off limits...! I might be overthinking though. Please help!

Can't imagine your dh being that chuffed....

I don’t think I’d do it.

Just go for it! It's the name you love.

Life is too short!

What’s the name?

If it’s something like Jack, James or William, I wouldn’t think anything of it.

If it was more like Sholto or something, I’d rethink.

I wouldn’t.

I actually had a theory about this when I was younger. I wanted my first child to be named after my first crush (at 6 years old). I asked some friends about this and they sheepishly said they did the same with their own child's name.

I think you'll find this is more common than you'd have thought.

imagine your husband naming your daughter the same name as his first love

Hell no it's weird

I think the fact he was your only other serious relationship rather than just a relationship will make this odder yes. Did he break up with you? That probably will make it seem even more like you might still have a torch for him!

I wouldn't, that's just asking for your ex to be discussed with your family and I'd hate that.

Let alone what your DH might think.

If you're comfortable with it though then that's absolutely fine.

It would be a bit weird and I say that as someone who loves ones of my exs names , I dated the guy 16 years ago but it would be a bit strange. If he gave his daughter my name I'd be a bit weirded out

@FirstFallopians it's in the top 100, lower half so common but not everywhere...!
@Barleysugar86 this is what I'm worried about! I haven't seen him since we were in sixth form though, and can guarantee any torch has definitely been extinguished.

Thinking it might be a hard pass based on these responses, glad I haven't raised it with DH yet 😂

I did this, but the name was also shared with a deceased relative so I was honouring them, not the ex.

It's just a name. It'd be weird to name your child specifically in your ex's honour, but if you just like the name and it's not about a connection with the ex then I'd go for it.

Of all the names.......just pick another.

I suppose if it’s James or something.. but it’s slightly odd you can’t think of anything else.

Ha, I did this. We’d broken up at 18 and I had my DS at 30. But apparently I’m in the clear according to other posters as his name was/is James.

I did get one raised eyebrow from an old school mate when I introduced my son but other than that it’s common enough that nobody has said anything.

I wouldn't. As PP have said how would you feel if he did it? Supposing a relative jokes about it in a kind if "you still holding a torch for Jack then" type way. Not worth it.

I did. I always loved the name and the father of my children didn't mind, but it is a classic name eg. Thomas, William

I'd role reverse it to decide. Would you be happy if your partner named your baby, the same as his first love?

No I'd find another name!

Why on earth would you do that, so disrespectful to call your Husbands Son after your ex. Do you really want to hurt your Husband ?

What if you bump into him with your husband and child? That would be so awkward for your husband.

There are literally thousands of names to choose. There's no need to use an Ex's name. Don't do it.

I think you need to discuss it with your husband first. If he is ok with it and also loves the name then I would use it!

Can the name be shortened and you would use a nickname most of the time? Then there isn't that obvious association with your ex. However, I think over time the association would dissappear and it would just be your sons name.

If you really want to broach the subject with your husband, if I was your husband I would hand you divorce papers. May sound extreme but unless it's something very common but even then it's just a no, I'd be thinking you never got over your ex and every time you say your sons name I'd be wondering why