To think our surnames just sound odd double-barrelled

[Indierecord]

I know this isn’t a first name issue but I wasn’t which board to post this on.
Im getting married at the end of may (and plan to start TTC immediately after), I always thought when I got married I’d hyphenate my surname with his, and whilst engaged I’ve been thinking the same.
However whenever I say our surnames out loud together it sounds so odd!!! I don’t know if I’d rather just take his surname at this point (I’d love our whole family to have the same surname when the time comes).
Our surnames are Matthews and Townsend - can these ever sound good together? Should I just take his name? (I’m not that fussed on the feminist need not to, I don’t view it as ownership).

Why not on marriage go from Indierecord Louise Matthews to
Indierecord Matthews Townsend or Indierecord Louise Matthews Townsend

DC would be Oliver/Olivia Matthews Townsend.

Substitute actual name as applicable. Surname would be Townsend and Matthews a middle name.

No, dh felt the same way.

Ohh I do like this, I have two middle names so even if I drop the non-family one that might work.

Townsend Matthews sounds great. It flows really well and sounds better than either name individually.

I don’t get all this ‘it’s my Dad’s name’ malarkey. It’s my name. I didn’t choose any of my names, they are still my name. The sooner we embrace both parents names, the sooner we can stop all this ‘father’s name nonsense’.

I looked at my family tree and it turns out my family name was actually derived from a woman. The man husband changed his surname generations ago (maybe a more prestigious/wealthy family?).

Nobody ever uses their middle name, so whoever gets the short straw of their surname for a middle name, just prepare for it to be dropped!

Sorry but I think double barrelling those names sounds awful. It looks and sounds terrible. Please don't give your future children that double barrelled name....

If you're fine with taking his surname then why aren't you?

@Indierecord , I know someone who had her mother's maiden name as a middle name, and her husband had a surname as a middle name (or a hyphenated surname) and she did that.

I think she was something like Helen Gordon Roberts and her fiance Peter Morley Smith, and on marriage became Helen Morley Smith and he kept his name as it was.
Children are Ryan Morley Smith and Chloe Morley Smith

They use their full names which is why I can't remember if there's a hyphen

(all names changed so as not to out anyone but the names minus the middle name seem very ordinary. Townsend is not too common or too unusual)

Double-barrelled surnames now seem to imply that the parents aren't married.
You will be.

OP both your options sound fine, I slightly prefer Townsend Matthews but neither are so much of a mouthful that I'd write them off. There are so many threads like yours and I have yet to read a combo I think is unusable - often people just need to get used to it!

Think hard about using one name as a middle - nobody other than the parents even cares about middles so it's a bit wasted effort imo.

My DC has a double barrelled surname (no hyphen) and she's perfect welcome to drop one, either informally or officially, down the line if she likes. But she's nearly three and knows her full name (she also has a middle) and loves it!

Townsend-Matthews is great, go for that. Wish I have doubled mine.

This is so interesting, all of the people who know us in real life are saying hmm no but here it’s all go for it. I wonder if it just sounds particularly odd with our first names.

Stop listening to them!! It’s like when you talk about baby names before you give birth. Once you tell them the name, they will say it’s lovely.

It’s not an aesthetic decision, though! It’s a legal one. Keep your own name, give your children both your surnames. About half of DS’s class at school (he’s 11) use both parents’ surnames, regardless of marital status, and there are some ‘odd’ combinations (eg one long Irish language name, one long Nigerian), but it’s just a pair of surnames.

Matthews-Townend doesn't work, as the s at the end of your name doesn't flow well into the second part. Townsend-Matthews sounds fine, but would be a pain to write out on forms due to the length!

In your situation, if you're happy to change to just Townsend and think it goes well with your current baby name list I'd just do that as it will be so much easier. I understand why many women are reluctant to change names but, like you, I am not close to my birth father and was more than happy to get rid of that surname when I married. Besides, my husband's family are Italian and their surname is so much cooler than my bog standard common English birth surname. I don't regret changing my name and like that we (my husband, I and our two children) all have the same suname.

Sounds absolutely fine to me.

I kept my name and DS has a double barrelled name.

If you are actually not bothered about keeping your name then why would you? Especially if it’s causing a problem.
it’s not just about ownership though, there’s a lot more to it, but if it’s not something that bothers you that’s your choice. Fwiw though
Townsend-Matthews is absolutely fine and I can’t see a problem with it at all.

It’s because they know you and are used to knowing you with your current name(s).
It always sounds weird when people change their name, even if it’s a nice name.

I like Townsend-Matthews.

Townsend-Matthews is fine.

Matthews-Townsend doesn't work, it's hard to say.

You could both change names to something else entirely and become Mr & Mrs Featherstonhaugh or whatever?

Townsend-Matthews sounds better, and you avoid the possible future issue of any boy child accidentally having 'Matthew' mistaken as one of his middle names (trust me, similar scenario here and it happens).

I quite like Townsend-Matthews

Agree with all those saying Townsend-Matthews works much better than Matthews-Tonwnsend.

op - if you don’t feel a connection to Matthews then another alternative would be to make a double barrelled name with your mothers maiden name, and all use that? Or come up with a new surname for you all to use?

Townsend Mathews sounds fine.

Everyone I know with a double barrelled name ends up being called by their initials. So, Sarah TM, for example.