Would use a name in this circumstance?

[QueSyrahSyrah]

First of all I know, nobody owns a name, etc. Just a bit unsure on this one.

DH and I are expecting our first baby next year, and have been discussing names (we're not going to find out the sex so this might all be a moot point anyway).

We've found a name that we both really, really like, but it happens to be the name of a friend's child. Thing is we've never met the child, they live some distance away with their Mum and the Dad (our friend) visits a couple of times a year, which we sometimes get the feeling is out of duty, not a desire to see them. That's a can of worms not for this thread.

So ultimately 'would you mind if we named our child the same name as the child you barely see' feels different to 'would you mind if we named our child the same name as your child'.

Any pearls of wisdom, hive mind?

I wouldn’t even run it by your friend, unless maybe it was a best friend and the two little ones will be around each other all of the time. But even then, it wouldn’t bother me. It would just validate my choice of name.

Definitely don't ask them. Yes of course it's fine to choose the same name

Thank you for the sense check. Added to the above we'd likely use a partial diminutive of the name day to day (just missing a syllable off) which I've never heard our friend use. He always says the name in full.

It wouldn’t bother me in the slightest, I’d just consider that we both had good taste in names 🙂

I loved the name Tabitha for a girl, but I ruled it out because one of my DH’s friends had a DD called Tabitha. 5 years on they no longer see one another, no reason, still pals, but don’t work in the same industry anymore, we moved to a new part of town, then they did, then COVID happened and they just drifted apart. Basically it wouldn’t have mattered one jot if we’d have used the name, so I regret it a bit.

Depends on the name. If the name is popular, then go ahead. If it's unusual and not much used, it will look like copying.
If it's Theodore and you'll be using Theo, both are so popular it doesn't matter.
If it's Percival, and you'll be using Percy, then maybe rethink.

My cousin, who I rarely see, had twins and called one of them the same name as my DS, who was around 8 at the time.

I genuinely did not care at all, I thought it was nice we had the same taste in names and congratulated her on her choice. I'm not sure whether she ever considered not using the name because of my DS, but I'm glad she went for it.

Thank you. I've just checked as I wasn't sure (I don't know any other children with the name) and this year it was in the UK top 100 but in the bottom half, so not absolutely everywhere but not unknown either I suppose.

I'd say it was OK to use it. If they like it and you like it, it's probably getting more popular.

Plenty of people name their child something 'unusual' only to find it's actually mega popular. e.g. Noah, Theo or Arlo

Unless the name is so unique like Huckleberry Finn then think no more.

I cannot tell you how many boys in our circle are named Freddy / Freddie. For example. And this is people who meet up regularly.

I was thinking of an unusual name and I know only 5 people with the name. 2 were in my year at school, one a year younger, one a couple of years younger still, and another the child of a friend. The name seemed to be very popular but only in a very localised area.

This is the sort of thing that can happen.

Something like in a 30 yr period, there are 5 girls registered as Tana (not the actual name), and they all have connections with the same tiny town.