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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Using Oliver when DH ex was Olivia?

19 replies

Birdbuggerup · 22/12/2023 06:05

Before DH and I met, he was engaged to a women called Olivia (usually known as Liv). They ended on good terms and whilst they are not close, they are friends on social media and exchange the odd text about mutual friends ‘just so you know, Jim and Pam are getting married!’ Etc

I’ve never met her due to us living away but understand she’s great and I’m happy there is no animosity between dh and liv, who shared a chunk of life together but ultimately grew apart.

we’re expect a baby boy next year, and I’ve always loved the name Oliver. DH quite likes it too and doesn’t think it’s odd given that ex fiancée is Olivia, particularly as he thinks of her as Liv.

I wonder, would it be strange? Would mutual acquaintances think this was a very bizarre choice? I can’t really decide. Any input welcome!

OP posts:

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ThePaperTrail · 22/12/2023 06:12

I think it's fine.

The baby's name would be shortened to 'Oli' rather than 'Liv', anyway, wouldn't it?

DelphiniumBlue · 22/12/2023 06:17

It sounds like you think it would be weird. You and DH are the only people whose opinions are relevant here.
But Oliver and Olivia are different names, and in any event they are common enough that no one would think the baby was named after her, although no one would think that if the baby had exactly the same name! Personally I think you are overthinking this, but if your instinct is that you shouldn’t use that name, go with your gut feeling. There are loads of names out there , choose something else if it really bothers you.

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 22/12/2023 06:17

You’re overthinking this!

oliver is lovely.

congratulations!

BoilingHotand50something · 22/12/2023 06:17

It’s fine but extremely popular and has been for years. Given you feel a bit awkward about it, I would probably choose something else.

Aria20 · 22/12/2023 06:40

The fact you are worrying about it enough to ask others, shows it is on your mind - it will niggle in the background. I personally wouldn't use it in this situation and we definitely discounted ex's names/shortened versions etc when naming our children.

I think you should pick something else. There are so many children called Oliver/Olivia anyway.

snowyflakes · 22/12/2023 12:41

I agree about it bothering you enough to ask suggests that you'll always have that association with the name Olivia:Oliver.

Also, Oliver has bees extremely popular and may well start to sound dated as it falls down the charts and out of fashion.

theduchessofspork · 22/12/2023 12:45

As long as it’s not bothering either of you it’s fine - they are both very popular names

Iamthatgenius · 22/12/2023 12:51

No I don't think there's a problem with this at all! They're not the same name. Plus she's just an ex, they're on friendly terms, there's no reason not to use it. It's not like she ruined his life!

Shpeech · 22/12/2023 12:54

I would go for something a little less common if you don't want three in his class. Also, the fact you are thinking about this and worrying, chose something else. There are a million names, don't chose something to remind you of his ex!

SOxon · 22/12/2023 13:33

if you want an O there is always

Oswald
Osbert
Osgood ( nobody’s perfect!)
Osborn/e
Osman
Oscar
Orlando
Otis
Otto
Owen

resm · 22/12/2023 14:42

I would stick with Oliver if you really love it. It’s a beautiful name and also not
uncommon so it mightn’t even occur to other people.

TroglodytesTroglodytes · 22/12/2023 21:01

Because Olivia and Oliver are so popular I don’t think it is an issue. If you were choosing a really obscure name that the ex had a feminine version of that would be different. In my neck of the woods every other boy is called Oliver/Olly.

peaceinourtime · 24/12/2023 14:41

It’s fine, the names just happened to start with the same four letters. They have completely different sound and he’s ex partner goes by Liv anyway, a completely different name.

NancyJoan · 27/12/2023 22:17

Really fine, and he’ll probably end up as an Ollie in any case.

ACynicalDad · 27/12/2023 22:19

The child would own their own name very quickly.

gemma19846 · 27/12/2023 23:07

Youve kind of answered your own question by thinking it might be weird. Its already in your mind. Choose another name. Oliver is very common, lots of much nicer boys names without thinking of DHs ex

74Violette · 28/12/2023 14:15

I think you should choose a different name. Oliver is lovely but there's certainly a chance that close friends and family of DH are going to think he's chosen it and maybe he is overly attached to his ex. It would be the wrong conclusion but I think there is a good chance they might think that.
Like others have mentioned, Oliver is a very popular name too, so something a little more unusual would be a better option and he can be the only one in the classroom.

Thursday5pmisginoclock · 28/12/2023 15:29

IMHO be a bit more creative as the name is so damn common! I loved either Oliver or Olivia as baby names growing up as they were rare names for kids of the 80s, but I decided against them for my kids as they are top 1/2/3 nowadays! Nothing worse than being called “XXX B” or “small XXX” etc. there are 3 x Max’s at my sons nursery, a name I almost chose and it is so confusing!

Catlord · 30/12/2023 06:45

I think totally fine, Liv sounds like an amicable presence in your DP's past who would probably just be vaguely happy to hear about a little namesake and Oliver is a name you've liked for ages and is popular and different enough that it doesn't need to be influenced either way by her carrying it.

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