Feeling pressured and stressed - it’s hard to choose!

[BabyTime2]

I’m expecting my second daughter after Christmas. My first has an old name that I just KNEW was right, it felt like the one. I was so sure and everyone I told in pregnancy said they loved it (to my face!).

My H and I disagree on a few of what would have been my top choices, like Frida and Ida. Some names we both like are ruled out because of similarity in letter sounds to my daughter’s nickname - we don’t want it to end in ‘ie.’ We finally have a name that we both like, it was on the list for my first daughter, but I just don’t know if I LOVE it? It doesn’t help that everyone that’s asked has been lukewarm about it at best. The most common response is that it’s common. I know it shouldn’t matter with grandparents and friends think, but somehow it still does. The name is Iris.

Anyway, I’m feeling a bit pressured and stressed and finding it difficult to choose. Did anyone else find it harder to name their second child? Did you go with a name you weren’t sure was the one?

Sorry for the ramble. Thoughts and solidarity appreciated!

I have an Iris, so I’m biased but I obviously love it

I love Iris and it's not overly common either

I think people over think it now.
Iris is far from common. In fact, names are not that common anymore as there is now a huge variety of names around unlike say 60 years ago.
To have a truly unique name you would literally have to make something up and not use a proper name. Even parents who think they are being so different in calling their child X get a surprise when they encounter another X.
If you like Iris then use it.

Common as in low class or frequent?

I think it's neither tbh. I have primary and nursery aged kids and know no Iris which is a beautiful classic name.

Also, yes it’s risen in popularity definitely but I work with young children, all my friends have babies/young children and my children are all at school or nursery and I don’t know another. I don’t think you’re talking 3 in a class popular

Iris is nice and the flowers are beautiful. Use it

Iris is a great name but if you are unsure then I think you both need to keep thinking
Maybe see what suits her when she’s here?

Iris is a beautiful name. I would happily choose it.
But also, don't feel pressured and stressed to choose a name now. Ignore everyone asking you. You have 6 weeks to register the baby after birth! Names come more naturally when the baby is in your arms.

Iris is lovely and also a bit spiky in a good way

It is popular - if you go onto darkgreener you can see if it’s too popular for you

Ines / Inez
Annis
Lois
Carys
Frances
Aislinn
Ffion
Astrid
Astra
Aster

might be others

I think Iris is beautiful. It was in my top 10. But stop asking people. Once she's here they'll love her for her. It won't matter if her name is Blobby! She's your child- your choice x

I think it's a beautiful timeless name.

I like Iris but I'd say it's quite popular- teacher here!

Lois
Lola
Etta
Eliza

Is it actually popular though in reality?

It’s number 70 something in the UK girls names charts, depending on which site you use. My friends, who’s son has a top 5 name, were very keen to tell me how popular Iris is the other day 🤣

It isn’t so much about the actual name, more just a moan about feeling pressured!

I can’t tell if I’m not sure it’s the one because I’ve just overthought it massively, or if feeling like that means I should choose another one. There’s really not much else out there that H and I agree on though. Tricky!

I think meet your little one and feel which name it should be at the time. Try not to get knotted up in thought.
https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/livebirths/datasets/babynamesenglandandwalesbabynamesstatisticsgirls
Here is the link to the actual stats on popularity

@BabyTime2 , maybe your friend fancies the name for a future DD of her own.
It's not unpopular and it's not overused.

You have plenty of time, you don't need to worry about a name now. If you feel hassled to tell what you plan to call her, say something like you have a few names in mind and are waiting to meet her.

Or say 'We can't decide between Tiffany or Hepzibah' or something.

Iris is lovely, much nicer than Frida and Ida imo. As a pp said, wait until she’s here and then decide what feels right. Don’t let people make you feel pressured. We never shared any names we were thinking of for DC1 until they were born and will probably do the same again, no one else’s opinion matters.

If it helps, I have a preschooler and go to endless baby/toddler groups. I have never met an Iris.

Also it's a lovely name!

Iris is beautiful.

I had a great Aunt called Iris and her cousin was Ida.

Other girls in their families ..
Alice
Maisie
Mary Agnes
Dot
Frances
Birdie
Queenie
Thea
Eileen
Sis

What about other botanical names? I've seen some suggestions here, but not (for example) Ivy, which I love (but which may break your -ie requirement), or Violet. Having said all that, I love Iris.

I agree with other posters, you don't have to decide right now.

Wait until you have her and see what suits her.

Perhaps have a short list, three names perhaps, and try her with those? She might already know what her name is! 😏

I'm in a very similar situation right now with boy names! We have a daughter and her name was decided throughout most of pregnancy. She's 3.5 and we still absolutely love it.
We had another girl name too but I'm now 29 weeks pregnant with a boy. We seem to go round in circles with names, we have a list of 3 we sort of agree on but neither of us loves any of them.
So I'm mostly just here to relate!! I don't feel comfortable just waiting until he arrives, I'm not that type of person.

Fwiw, Iris is a beautiful name and while it might be having a resurgence of popularity I don't think it's too common at all.

But do you love it? I sense you may not actually feel like it's the one

I knew one Iris when I was at school (I'm 35), but have otherwise never come across any. And my friends are popping out babies all other the shop now. I think it's a stunning, classy name, and remember thinking the iris I knew was v.cool!