What's more important - sentimentality or flow?

[Angelsrolltheireyes2]

We are due our second baby in the new year and have two top names to pick from once baby is here but I'm not sure what order to put the names in. The baby will have 2 middle names as their older sibling already does.

I know one of the middle names will certainly be an honour name with a lot of meaning to me and the other is a name DH and I both like but can't use as a first name. My daughter also has an honour name but to avoid her initials spelling a rude word, we put the honour name second. I've regretted this since then as her second middle name is the one that is left out and unused even though that is the one that is the most meaningful so want to avoid this with the next baby and would like to put the meaningful middle first. The trouble is that the end of the first name we have chosen and start of the honour middle name blend together and sound a bit odd. Think Leon Nigel iyswim.

What do you think is more important - having a full name that flows nicely (ie Leon Alfie Nigel) or having the important middle name in the front position (ie Leon Nigel Alfie)?

Just to add none of these are the names we are actually considering but they illustrate the point well - I don't want feedback on the names themselves!

I don’t think the order of the names has any significance on importance. Better to go with the way they flow.

Flow. I think sentimentality is more for you. The name itself is more for your child.

We went with flow, even though second middle name was more significant - I don’t think anyone differentiates between the order? I’ve only ever had my DC referred to as first name surname or first name both middle names surname. I’ve never had one be ‘dropped’.

Very very rarely will anyone say your child's full name ie first, middles and surname.

I'm only bothered about: do I love the first name that my child will be called by multiple times per day? Can enough people pronounce it and spell it ( or learn to easily)? Do we have a middle name or two that reflect their family/heritage? Does any of that sound rude when said or written or initialised, or when a diminutive is used?

I wouldn’t worry about flow because it’s very rare that someone will say all four names out loud. Flow is relevant for first & last names together but not middle IMO.

When you say your older child’s second middle name gets left out - when does this happen? As I have only ever seen forms that ask for all names or just first & last names - never seen one that only has space for one middle name?

Def avoid rude spellings of initials! Anything else just go with however you prefer it. The full name is so rarely said that flow isn’t significant and there’s no obvious pecking order. My kids both have 2 and I don’t recognise what you say about 1 being left out because no one says either unless it’s passport renewal time, but we did put DD’s in a specific order to avoid the initials spelling a word (nothing rude, just a bit silly).

Middle names usually get left out anyway. Initials are usually KB or whatever, not KGB, KGAB... I've only seen middle ones used when there have been multiples in the same group, and they've varied in terms of how many there were.
one colleague only used one middle initial but actually had three middle names
e.g. William Arthur Philip Louis Wales using WAW not WAPLW to avoid being mixed up with Wallis Windsor

Try saying both dc's names together. A dm here had Tom, Jack, Sam and Ella.. Not great said in order of age..

I would tend to put the honour name last as long as it doesn't spell something embarrassing . This is because I'd see their name as your chosen names and the honour name as an addition whether you particularly love it or not.

Thank you all for your thoughts, some really good points here!

Just to add there are no worries with rude spellings for baby 2, just flow. I only mentioned that as it was an issue with DC1 and how she ended up with 2 middles in the first place.

A couple of people asking about when it is left out and I suppose you're right I haven't had any specific circumstances yet with my DD where it is left out but in my job I deal with a lot of official forms and with character limits, the latter middle names are the ones that are often excluded. Writing it down sounds very silly though so it is possible I'm overthinking this and influenced by pregnancy hormones!! We've had a hard time picking a first name and I'm still not sold on either of our top two choices so I think maybe I'm transferring my doubts onto the middles as well haha.

More opinions welcome, I'm seeing this as a poll of sorts I suppose to see what the general consensus would be :)

My parents went for flow with my name 63 years go but called me by my second name. It's been a bloody nightmare all through school, work , drs, dentist etc etc. Don't do this to your child!

You almost never say the whole name so I’d just put the names you want to put first first, as long as there’s no issue with initials.

If it's important that the honour name is heard, I'd choose it as the first middle name even though I think flow is important. It's likely to only be her parents who will say both names out loud e.g. in mock formality and I expect you'll be sure to separate the names to avoid them running into each other. Something like Annabel Lucy could sound like Annabelucy but I think it matters less for a middle name than if the first and last names merge e.g. Anna Anderson becoming Annanderson.

My DDs are teenagers but very occasionally we call them both by their first and middle names e.g. Isla Josephine. Their middle names were chosen for significant reasons so it's nice to hear them every now and then.

I went with sentimentality. My son’s names are both short and start with the same letter, think like James Jerry Lastname. I considered adding a name between first and middle to improve flow, but ultimately didn’t. It’s totally grown on me and no longer sounds awkward to me at all.

I would go with sentimentality as it sounds like you regret not having the meaningful name first with your firstborn.

I also have two middle names and the second one is frequently dropped.

The flow of your example names isn't that bad.

Flow for me.
Although absolutely nobody will ever call her Aralia Joanna Augustus Jones. She will be A Jones or Aralia Jones at most.

I have 2 middle names and I always use use them on official forms etc and I insist organisations use them too, including banks. My view is as the names are on my birth certificate, that is my official, legal name and therefore all the elements should be included on official documentation. They're not short names either 7 letters, 8 letter and 5 letters with a 4 letter surname

Flow

Your daughter is the one who has to live with it and she will never know the person you are honouring.

But really all that matters is her first and surname sound good together. People never use middle names.

Also I’ve got 2 middle names and can’t recall ever not having space for both on the rare occasions they come up - official forms etc