Neutral Northern Ireland names

[Rabbitrescue]

Baby girl’s due date is coming soon and we have absolutely no name contenders!

We both prefer classic names - not very modern

I don’t know if I am overthinking it- but I think my difficulty is finding a name that suits our family identity. We are a mixed marriage, although my husband who was raised in Protestant faith has always had an Irish passport ( kept secret from his staunch parents) . I was raised in Catholic faith but have British passport- to give some indication of where our hearts lie. Child will be raised in Catholic faith

Considering names many of my husbands suggestions - I feel are ‘too English/ I am not that sophisticated/ don’t feel comfortable with. He would be better read/ more cultural than me. My husband also likes Irish names- but it is me holding back.
I think my own experiences; as a child ( knowing not to say your name outloud in a public place) and experiences as a working adult ( some service users reacting to my irish - assumed catholic name) puts me off.
I don’t want to deny faith/ heritage but on the other side - I don’t want child to ever feel fearful.
I know it’s a different world now

Perhaps this post seems ridiculous- but just reaching out for words of wisdom/ name suggestions as I am at a loss
Honestly don’t mean to offend

Would anyone be able to suggest names that have subtle Irish hints? I liked the name Cora ( but best friend has just named her baby that) as it’s simple, feels Irish but actually isn’t and is classic

Or names that are very neutral in Northern Ireland
for example - I know lots of men of different religious backgrounds called James.

Thanks in advance to anyone who takes time to rely

I think you’re massively overthinking things!! Just go with what you both like. I also live in Northern Ireland, even though we’re both technically Protestant we’re very neutral and gave our daughter an Irish name (Maeve). We’re in south Belfast so granted it’s a very mixed area but no matter where we’ve been nobody has batted an eyelid. I certainly don’t have any concerns of her being fearful of using it in the future. In my opinion things have massively moved on from those days

What about something like Caitlin, Cara, Fiona, Rosaline, Kiera or Nora? These are all Irish names but are mainstream and used widely across the UK regardless of religion.

I think you’re right - it does sound like I am overthinking. It’s not until more recently I realised I was ruling out the too English names- but also realised I was resisting Irish names due to my own experiences.
I know it’s different now. I think it’s just my own difficult experiences engrained in me 🙈
A few years ago one of my friends said to me she didn’t use Irish names for her children - as she had seen I was given such a hard time working with members of public when we were younger. I remember telling guilty in someways, and thinking that’s so sad that sectarianism nearly prevailed

Your right in years to come people will be less religious, less memories of the troubles themselves, less segregation ,so probably people wouldn’t bat an eyelid

Thanks

@BenZodiazapam thanks for suggestions
Will share with hubby
Didnt realise Cara, Nora or Rosaline were Irish. Nora is cute
Thanks for taking time

I get what you mean OP. My aunt gave quite neutral names to her first two children for the same reasons as you (in Derry), but her two youngest children were born after the Good Friday Agreement and she felt more confident to give them Irish names. But it's hard to know what to do! You should go for whatever you like and whatever you're comfortable with.

Names that I'd see as quite neutral:
Abigail, Anna, April, Aria, Ava, Cara, Cassie/Cassia, Caroline, Chloe, Elena, Ella, Elise, Emilia, Emily, Evanna, Freya, Grace, Hazel, Hannah, Holly, Isla, Isabel, Jasmine, Jessica, Juliet, Kate, Lara, Laila, Lily, Lola, Madeline, Olivia, Rosa, Rebecca, Robyn, Sarah, Zoe

(not sure how 'Irish' Evanna is - on one hand it's not really an Irish Irish name I don't think, but on the other it doesn't seem to be at all popular anywhere except Ireland. And even then it's not that popular! I've only met three ever)

Here's a list of the top baby names in Northern Ireland in 2021.

There's only about 10 in it that aren't totally neutral and/or considered very Irish or very English. https://www.britishbabynames.com/blog/top-names-in-northern-ireland/

Yes, you are over thinking.
People love to hear afresh culturally old names now, I think.

In Australia, due to being far away and people keeping letters about the troubles from their children, Irish people of differing denominations have been inter marrying happily for a couple of generations.

Many Biblical names have been used for millennia by many faiths...
Feel confident in peace and use any name you love.
These are all popular ..

Aoife
Catherine
Kate
Niamh
Bridget
Saoirse
Sarah
Anna
Roisin
Sinead
Eileen
Mary
Deirdre
Esther

Brian
Cahal
James
Christopher
Digby
Rory
Patrick
Oisin
Lachlan
Declan
Thomas
Gerard
Nicholas
Peter

@salamithumbs
thank you for all suggestions and for sharing your Aunts Story. Good to know I am not only one with same debate!
I will actually re- suggest Evanne with hubby. I actually really like the Irish familiarity but am more comfortable that it’s not actually an Irish name 🙈

Oscar
Oliver
Shay
Callum
Leo (maybe)
Liam (foot in both camps)

Fiona
Alannah
Sadie
Darina
Nola
Honora

I think you're over thinking things. Maeve, which is an Irish a name as you can get, has become extremely popular in the UK. My neighbours here in Meath are kids called Harry and Emily. People from all cultures choose different names and it has no bearing on your ethnicity.

I don’t think you’re over thinking things. My kids have very Proddy names and we went to the Andersonstown leisure centre. When I called out for my son you could have heard a pin drop. Sadly, it’s still a very real thing in NI. Add in some good old fashioned classism and it’s a nightmare.

Everyone likes to think of themselves as above all this kind of nonsense but unconscious bias runs deep.

Tamara

I love Nora

Yeah, it’s not dead, and won’t be yet awhile. I’m from south of the border, but spend a fair bit of time with friends in Armagh, and my ‘couldn’t be more Irish if it tried’ Irish-language first name still places me.

Most of @salamithumbs ’ names code as pretty Protestant to me, though.

I grew up in NI during the troubles. I had school friends who were Protestant called Maeve, Orla, Siobhan and Nuala. I wouldn't worry about it.

user123whathaveyou names I would reckon as mostly Catholic, as Benzo’s. I wonder if people commenting here are from NI or Ireland?

To some extent, unless you send them to an integrated school it’s a bit moot. The names you see at St Brides are not the names you get at Fullerton and the first question they’ll be asked after their name is where do you go to school 🙄

I think it’s obvious that user1492757084 doesn’t live anywhere near Northern Ireland if they are suggesting that Gerald, Saoirse, Patrick or Mary fit the bill for what the OP is looking for.

I'm guessing that it all depends where you live , where you intend to send your kids to school etc etc. Only you know your local area well enough to know what kind of reception irish names would receive. Or how irish you can go , there are irish lite names like Sean or Connor or you could go full hog and use saoirse ?
I'm in the Republic so it's totally different down here because irish names are very popular these days.

This was my experience but in reverse (Irish names, inadvertently going to the Strandtown during a bloody orange march).

On the playground, at school etc it's not going to be a problem as everyone will know that everyone's from the same area, same background etc, but out and about, you're always going to get assumptions from arseholes.

We have the same last name as a very well-known Irish terrorist so I gave the kids more neutral names. We nixed most of the very Irish ones due to our last name. I think you do need to take it in context of the whole thing. And also where you live. It's very different in Derry to Belfast, people are more chill IME the further west you live but the tiny pockets of anger that are left are really strong (I've lived in both).

Don't forget with the jobs situation there's a good chance they end up doing what me and most of my friends have done and moved to England/Australia/America at their first opportunity for work where all this stuff is meaningless.

For a girl, what about Emilia? Or Robyn? Or Faye? Something with warmth but not too obviously anything one way or another.

How about going for a Jewish name?

Miriam, Esther, Sarah, Eva, Niomi.

Or virtue names, Hope, Felicity, Sage, Joy, Blythe, Temperance.

Sorry I don't know if those count as 'too English'. I've lived my whole life in England, I went to school with a Philomena, an Oona and a couple of Kathleens and a handful or Marys.

Thanks @Bosca and @shockeditellyou - really good to know you understand my point of view! I was starting to doubt myself- I know there are parts of Belfast I would still not give my first name ( if ordering food for example) That’s going on advice of older friends local to that area and perhaps reinforced by murals - but maybe it’s outdated behaviour. Whats the worse that would happen

@Nomnomnom66 if I lived in England - I would not hesitate over choosing Irish names. It’s more a Northern Irish sensitivity. I get that Northern Ireland is not a unique situation- there are people all over debating between a name that links to their culture or one that is more neutral. My SIL loves Lithuanian names ( her background) but is debating going more neutral. And actually names are more diverse now.

@user1492757084 Its only now sitting reading comments that I am telling myself to apply logic- things have changed- realistically children aren’t spat at, have stones thrown at them or are chased through the wrong part of town - for their names or being in wrong school uniform. Even in last 15years working with members of public - things/ reactions to my name have changed. All my past experiences are not relevant anymore - it’s just a matter of my brain catching up. I have to admit I still feel conscientious calling out my nephews very Irish names in parks- which is silly nothing is going to happen. It’s just a learned feeling

Thanks all for responding - I know it’s a bit of controversial discussion. I know I am a bit ridiculous to be uncomfortable with using Irish names or English names 🙈

@Sherma thats lovely to know! I had a good friend at uni called Philomena but she said she hated it as everyone assumed she was Catholic lol 🙈

@shockeditellyou your right! It’s a very quick question from the older generation , although things are changing

@MaloneMeadow lovely to hear!
i think bias are gradually reducing and have realised my learning experience makes me more sensitive/ hyper-vigilant to issues!

After all the above messages- I understand my own point of view better 🙈
I think we will look for a name that is subtlety Irish

I have to admit I still feel conscientious calling out my nephews very Irish names in parks- which is silly nothing is going to happen. It’s just a learned feeling
Conscientious seems the wrong word there, but I agree about being aware of the names being called out.
I live somewhere multicultural, and the names I hear a lot of tend to be the OT names like Noah. The names that are closely linked to the ethicity tend to stand out.