Does baby have to have husbands surname

[villet]

Hi my elder 2 kids have husbands surname but I have decided I don’t like it and don’t want to name the unborn one the same surname
What happens if we can’t agree ? Can he go to register office and name it anyway ? What if I go and name it what I want ?

also what happens if you don’t put husband on birth certificate

I don’t like being the baby carrier and other people get to have the name credit /pride

[prayerwarrior38]

Your married so u can go to the registry office alone. It's only unmarried couples where both parents have to go to register the baby.
I've never heard of this before so not sure what the registry officer will say if you choose to give the baby your surname rather than the father's- maybe in these situations they will require both.
Is there any other reason why you don't want the baby to have your husband's surname than simply taking a dislike to it?

Having the same surname sometimes gives a feeling of connectedness to your immediate family, if the baby doesn't have the surname like everyone else in the family, think about the impact this might have as they grow older.

[Torganer]

I don’t understand the above post, I can’t believe that the poster has never heard of a baby having it’s mother’s surname?! Traditionally the baby takes the mother’s name. It just used to be that the mother would take the husbands name in marriage. This doesn’t happen as much these days. You can give the baby any name you want, can even make up a new surname.

[Gettingbysomehow]

My DS has my name. I carried him, I gave birth to him, he has my surname.
What did his father do? Had an orgasm.basically and that was it.
I cant say his father was thrilled about it but that's too bad.

[Bobtheamazinggingerdog]

Either of you can register the baby alone if you're married. I really hope your relationship isn't so bad that you'd consider registering the baby behind his back and leaving him off? If so you've got bigger problems than a name (though the baby should definitely have your name if so)
Only you know if your husband is likely to be reasonable and accept your reasonable suggestion or unreasonable and be a dick about it.

[MirrorMirror1247]

I'm curious, why wouldn't you want your husband on the birth certificate? Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but as you're married, it would be assumed that your husband is the father, so he would go on there anyway, surely?

[WYorkshireRose]

If you're married or in a civil partnership then both parents will need to be named on the birth certificate. However, you don't both need to be present to register the birth, either of you can do that, with whatever name you choose.

[MyCircumference]

seems odd to want your recent baby to have a different surname to the siblings

[MyCircumference]

can you put both names on the birth certificate op

[WithOneLook]

There is too little information to go on here to really advise beyond 1. yes you can give the baby whatever name you like 2. Yes your husband can go and register the birth and give whatever name he likes. In that scenario it's basically down to whoever gets their first and if a complaint gets made it becomes a legal matter and messy at best.

Honestly though it depends on WHY your thinking of doing this. If it's simply a vanity thing on your part (I carried them etc etc) then you need to think about the best interests of the child as they will be different in name to their siblings. They will need an explanation, their siblings will need an explanation and pretty much everyone you meet will make their own assumptions. Think of the MH impact on both the new baby and the existing children.....(mummy loves the new baby more than me because it's got mummy's name and she gave me daddy's......sounds silly but it happens more than you'd think).

On the other hand there can be very valid reasons for not giving new baby Dads name, especially if the relationship is bad and/or criminal where the children are likely to be estranged from their father. It really does depend on the circumstances.

For what it's worth I'm not against children having Mums name (it's my personal preference and my daughter has mine) but I do think all the children should have the same unless very good reason.

[muchalover]

My GS has his mother's (my DD) name. It isn't her maiden name she didn't want her father's surname (my married name) and chose her own surname. She was married to GS father at the time but never took his name and kept her own.

The ILs were/are livid but DD is divorced now.

[Singleandproud]

You are married so both names will go on the birth certificate and DH has parental responsibility automatically

Surely a healthier option is to discuss a whole family name change via deed poll so you all match. Having one child with a different name is odd and likely to make them feel like they don't fit in the family unit as they get older

[Slipknotted]

Of course your baby doesn’t have to have your husband’s surname.

[Hibambinos]

Your baby would have different name to your older kids then? I don’t think that is nice at all. They are siblings and should all feel equal and part of the family.

[Pumpkindoodles]

My mind is blown that you and a pp have never heard of children taking the mums name.

it’s very odd though that you want the ‘credit’ for the baby, and are considering leaving your husband - presumably the father - off the certificate, or that you worry he would go behind your back. I’m assuming you’ve just not given us all the info here and you’re leaving him anyway.

[prayerwarrior38]

I WILL CLARIFY
Ofc I've heard of babies taking their mothers surname but when the couple are married this seems quite rare and traditionally the baby takes the father's name. Maybe I'm old skool

I agree there is something op is not conveying as they also want to opt to have father off birth certificate rather than simply stating they do not like the father's name

[Slipknotted]

@prayerwarrior38

I WILL CLARIFY
Ofc I've heard of babies taking their mothers surname but when the couple are married this seems quite rare and traditionally the baby takes the father's name. Maybe I'm old skool

I agree there is something op is not conveying as they also want to opt to have father off birth certificate rather than simply stating they do not like the father's name

I’m married, and DS has both our surnames but only uses mine. I think virtually everyone I know who is married with children of my generation (I’m 51) has children who use both patents’ surnames or just the mothers’.

[tabulahrasa]

You can name a baby any surname you feel like using.

Seems a bit weird to suddenly have an issue with the third child though... is it actually the furnace that’s a problem or is there a bigger issue?

[yellowlane]

You don't have to give your baby your dh's surname, however I find it strange that you'd rather that than all your children have the same surname. Also your dh not being on the BC is also strange. I take it your relationship with your dh isn't good?

[Apossum]

@tabulahrasa

You can name a baby any surname you feel like using.

Seems a bit weird to suddenly have an issue with the third child though... is it actually the furnace that’s a problem or is there a bigger issue?

This really. Of course a baby can be given whatever name you choose but it seems wrong to me to have your elder two with one surname and your youngest with another, it marks them out as different imo. As for talking about leaving your husband off the birth certificate, that’s pretty drastic, even in the hypothetical, what’s going on?

[Flittingaboutagain]

I don’t like being the baby carrier and other people get to have the name credit /pride

^ ours all have my name for this reason. They're not property, don't need to prove lineage etc but they have the name of the person who shared her body with them.

[Londonscallingme]

Our LB has a different surname to both of us (our names double barrelled) - you can give your kid any surname you like. Not sure about the issue of if the father disagrees though.

[SweetBirdsong]

@MirrorMirror1247

I'm curious, why wouldn't you want your husband on the birth certificate? Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but as you're married, it would be assumed that your husband is the father, so he would go on there anyway, surely?

Yeah this. This is all very strange. @villet why do you not want your husband's name on the birth certificate?! And it's odd to purposely not want his name for your new child, when the other 2 have it!

And also, it has never been tradition in western culture, as a pp said, to give the baby the mother's surname. Especially when the couple are married! Indeed most women give the baby the father's surname even when they're not married to him!

I would be horrified if my husband did what you are intending on doing OP, (took our baby and registered him/her, and left me off the birth certificate.) WTF? (and I would never do it to him.)

Also 'I don't like being the baby carrier and having someone else get all the credit' is a bizarre mindset, and people are agreeing too with this comment too!

I feel like I've stumbled into a parallel universe. I have never met anyone in real life who thinks like this. And I know a lot of people from different social classes, and different age groups.

[Mix56]

I think your DC, if the same father? Should have the same surname.

[Azerothi]

I always think that babies should have their mother's surname whatever that is at the time. I have never understood women wanting a different surname to their children, it's bizarre and very odd.

Nothing happens if you don't put the father on the birth certificate why should it?

[bonkersAlice]

@Mix56

I think your DC, if the same father? Should have the same surname.

Agree and people will assume that your husband isn't the father, which won't be lost on him.