Uncanny ability to ruin every name I ever liked?

[GoldenOldies]

What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I have nice things?

I don’t know where it comes from but every baby name I come across, I can ruin. Either with childish rhyming words (Puke Luke, Charlotte Harlot, Gaudy Audrey, etc) or through negative associations (Mia sounds like Mae, which was the name of a horrid neighbor I had, Emilia could be called Millie, and I know someone called Millie who is obnoxious). I’ve even ruined my OWN name before.

I don’t do it on purpose, it’s an automatic reaction in my brain. My children are doomed to never have names 🙈😭

Any psychologists out there who know why I do this?

Are you pregnant?

Not yet, TTC

Don’t worry about this then

You will find a name you love with no connotations

Once you name a child you just picture that baby when you think of the name. If you do have the negative rhyme suggest itself when name searching do not ever repeat it ti anyone because you will plant the idea in their mind.
Brains are wonderful things. Now I am older I find lines from poetry or songs leap into my mind when I hear a word or phrase to prompt it. Never ever happened when I was younger.
BTW did you mother tend to make associations when you were young?
Mine did eg Lydia teapot, Isabell necessary on a bicycle or Nellie Blye caught a fly, tied it to a string, let it go a little way then pulled it back agin. Quite nonsensical but sticks in one’s mind.

My dad does! He always has something negative to say about a name. He even says his own name is better suited for a dog, and has made rude nicknames out of every name he hears (that’s where I got Puke Luke and Charlotte the Harlot from)

He’s made nicknames out of his entire families names (including mine) that he thinks are just funny little things, but can be quite rude. Or he’ll hear a name and have a story about someone he knew/knew of with that name, and it’s always a horrible story.

I seem to have inherited his ability

It's Tawdry Audrey

Not the point but yeah that works too 😂

That's an old one, @GoldenOldies , goes back centuries and is from Saint Audrey

Would it get you anywhere if before telling your dad your choice of name, you ask him not to do this in case it ruins it for you?

If I asked, he’d try his best not to - but it’s like a reflex for him. He’d say something eventually

Do you have a partner Op? If so, do hey have any names they like?

Tell your DF to keep any comments to himself and if he says anything to his DGD about her name to make her feel bad you’ll teach her to call him Grandad such and such name! Try to change things to the positive eg SweetCharlotte, they don’t have to rhyme and not easy,I know.
I don’t think people realise what an influence for good, or for bad they can have on their children and grandchildren. I’m very interested in DNA and read everything I can find that’s easily accessible and it’s now believed that trauma etc can be passed down and that besides having emotional and mental effects it can also affect health eg the little understood inflammatory conditions such as fibromyalgia as well as neurodivergent conditions. So it’s very important we don’t add to the things beyond our control in nurturing our wee ones.
Good luck

He likes quite a few but I’ve been able to ruin most of them (in my head, I don’t say it out loud and ruin them for him).

He likes the likes of Charlotte, Mia, Caroline, Hazel, etc. For boys, he likes the classics Henry, James, Conor, Thomas, etc

My dad definitely plays a huge role in this. He’s always been the type to make “jokes” that he thinks are hilarious, but are actually quite insensitive. I wear glasses and he once came home from work after I’d just gotten a new pair and said “Hey, looking good, four eyes!”.

To him, it’s harmless banter but yeah, he definitely plants negative seeds. I can’t even be mad because it’s genuinely not on purpose, he just cant seem to help himself. He reminds me a bit of my autistic brother, who struggles to “read the room”. For example, I wore a sleeveless dress to a party when I was 16, and my brother casually said “you have bingo wings!”. Loudly. In front of our entire table of extended family and friends. To this day, I can’t wear sleeveless things. I’ve often wondered if my dad has autism too as it runs in the boys on his side.

I think my obsession with names and finding ones with zero rhymes or associations stems from a desire to save my child from being part of these “jokes”. Maybe even saving myself from the “haha I can’t believe you named your child this when it reminds me of A, B or C!”.

My MIL (she’s awesome though) also has this ability 🤣
we knew we’d finally got the name when it was one she just couldn’t ruin. You will find name.

And you don’t like them? Have you managed to put a song or a negative association against them all?

For all except Caroline, Conor & Henry, yeah.

And you don’t like them?

This is sounding a bit of obsessive OP considering your TTC!

I think you’re exactly the person that would benefit from seeing your baby before deciding a name. There’s no way you’d look down on your newborn and think of a silly name or story because even if there was one - you’d realise how utterly utterly irrelevant it was and if you love a name, and you partner does and you think it sits perfectly with your baby… you will name him or her that. And there won’t be silly songs in your mind. Trust me

I have OCD so yeah, it’s obsessive. I literally can’t think of anything else.

I know I should probably wait, but the idea of not having a list makes me anxious 🙈

My Dad ruined loads of names for me too haha! We couldn’t have Stella as it was a pint, Ruby as it was a curry, Polly as it was a parrot etc etc etc.