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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Name etiquette (considering cousins)

26 replies

etiquettey · 06/10/2023 10:20

My sister has one DC and we are TTC a first. Sister wants more and probably quite soon. We seem to have very similar taste. She has planned out all the names she likes before she even had her DC and has always spoken about her two names for boys and two names for girls.

What’s the etiquette around it or does it not matter? Some of the names she likes are similar to the ones we do. Just an example, she loves Alex but we quite like Alice.

If our first DC was a girl and we named her Alice, maybe this would make it difficult for my sister if she had a DS to call him Alex because they’re such similar sounding names. Equally, we might have a boy and she might have a girl - meaning it’s all totally irrelevant!

I don’t want to tread on her toes even though nobody ‘owns’ a name. Is it really just first come first served or should you avoid a name if a relative has fleetingly mentioned liking it or a variation of it? :)

OP posts:

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Slipslidinginthefray · 06/10/2023 10:22

Those names aren’t even similar!
just name your baby what you want

BuffaloCauliflower · 06/10/2023 10:23

Alex and Alice aren’t similar. Don’t use the names she’s very expressly said she likes, that’s easy to avoid, apart from that you’re fine.

LastNightAPandaSavedMyLife · 06/10/2023 11:01

They aren’t similar. Just avoid the names she has chosen.

Gemstonebeach · 06/10/2023 11:06

I get what you mean. I really like Luke but my nephew is called Louie so I don’t think I would use it. But I think you only notice it when they are the first grandchildren/small family, I have cousins called Kate and Caitlin but there are 20 cousins so not as noticeable.

toastofthetown · 06/10/2023 11:11

Alex and Alice are similar to me. I have a friend called Alex, who is always having people mishear as Alice, even when she tries to emphasis the X sound. I don’t think it’s too close for cousins though, as long you wouldn’t mind if she chose Alex anyway.

Bells3032 · 06/10/2023 11:14

Alice and Alex are not too similar and since its your sister assuming they will have different surnames too so i don't think it was an issue. TBH my sister and i named our daughters very different names but their nicknames are actually quite similar sounding (we didn't realise til i was too late) we just find it funny.

But my grandfather was harry and he had a brother call harold and they survived!

InTheRainOnATrain · 06/10/2023 11:32

Eh? Those are 2 totally different names. If she wanted Alexander for a boy and you wanted Alexandra for a girl or Louis and Louise I might get it but not Alex and Alice. And no one is even pregnant right now? You are way overthinking it. I wouldn’t use the 4?specific names she’s said she likes but that’s it.

Nottheusualsuspect84 · 07/10/2023 05:55

My step brother is Lucas I always said I would love to name my son Luke but my 4 other brothers would definitely have an issue with me playing favourites.....
I wouldn't choose a name one of my siblings has used already and theres a lot of them I have 20 nephews and nieces I perhaps would of liked one or two of the names but it's not been an issue as I only have one child
Alex and Alice are not to similar

Loz2323 · 07/10/2023 06:00

Name your kid whatever you like, no one owns a name.

Maryh78 · 07/10/2023 07:05

I know sister's who both liked the same name so they both called their child it and the cousins have the same name! My sister has always said she loves Louie and we really liked it...she wasn't pregnant and I know no one owns a name but she said she would buy a dog and call it Louie if she never had a boy 😆 so I would never have used it as I knew how much she loved it and I didn't love it enough to fall out over it! But a boy Alex and girl Alice are totally different and I wouldn't worry about it!

Loopytiles · 07/10/2023 07:09

Wouldn’t use the actual names she has previously mentioned and known variations, eg Isabel / Isabella, since you seem to be saying your sister wouldn’t like it. Avoiding ‘similar’ sounding ones isn’t necessary.

Ilikeyourdecor · 07/10/2023 07:58

I'd avoid the four names she's chosen but otherwise choose what I want.

theduchessofspork · 07/10/2023 11:36

They aren’t similar!

I wouldn’t use one of her list of 4 but beyond that, do what you like

Madreof3 · 07/10/2023 11:57

I don’t think they are to similar for cousins at all. My sil called her daughter Mia which my other sil said she always wanted to call her child if she was a girl ,they aren’t sisters the one is my husbands sister the one who used the name and the other my brother in laws fiancé. Anyway I have a Millie she has a Mia and then came Maisie all with the same surname 🙈 my sister in law also chose the same middle name as my daughter. What can you do though - my point is yours aren’t so similer that there would be any issues

Jessbow · 07/10/2023 15:13

My friend Joan has 3 sons
James, Johnathan & Peter
Both Jonathan and peter have sons called jonathan

Joan has a son AND two grandsons called Jonathan- they seem to survive ok.
Johnathan , and Little John and Jono

emziecy · 07/10/2023 18:10

Christ on a fucking bike this really is such a non problem 🙄 Call your kid whatever you want and if you really think anyone vaguely relevant might have an issue with it then you could always oohh 1) actually have an adult conversation with them about it or 2) do what the fuck you want anyway and if they don't like it tell them to do one?

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 07/10/2023 18:53

I would say Alice and Alex are too similar for siblings but not for cousins so it’s fine.

also luke and Louis are fine.

RaeHitsEbSire · 07/10/2023 18:58

Why would it matter? They are cousins, not siblings.

MadridMadridMadrid · 07/10/2023 20:12

If your sister has four names that she has very consistently said she wants to use, I would avoid those four names. But I see absolutely no need to avoid calling your child Alice just because your sister wants to use Alex. They are two completely different names.

SparkyBlue · 07/10/2023 20:21

Alex and Alice aren't too similar at all I wouldn't worry about using Alice if I were you. I have a couple of cousins who actually have the same name.

RuthW · 07/10/2023 22:47

First to have the baby gets the name

Moveoverdarlin · 07/10/2023 22:53

Just avoid the four names she’s reserved. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. I don’t think you should worry about similar sounding names, that’s not a thing. I don’t think Alex and Alice are similar really. She could have a Lucy and you could name your child Luca.

Nellle · 07/10/2023 23:13

Alice and Alex are different names.

Merry05 · 08/10/2023 16:05

I have an Ayda, my husbands brother named their baby Ava. Honestly, no one was arsed in the slightest… there’s also 12 weeks between them

TeamGeriatric · 10/10/2023 12:28

I think Alice and Alex are fine for cousins. My sister used a name that rhymes with the name of my step-sisters daughter for her daughter, the girls are almost 7 years apart in age, let's say for examples sake, they are Molly and Polly, respectively. She did talk to our step-sister first. My Mum muddles the names of her granddaughters often, but she is 81, and she also manages to use their name for my daughter too and her name does not rhyme with theirs whatsoever. No-one else in the family ever gets confused by the names, or had an issue with them being too similar.

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