AIBU to use a name I don't love?

[RomaniIteDomum]

DS is 5 and is autistic with a severe speech delay.
I have a shortlist of five names for DC2 (a girl).

My top name (love) would be incredibly difficult for him to pronounce.

My second choice I like a lot but not as much as my top choice.

The difference is I know for certain DS can pronounce it.

Should I just get over the other name to include him in this as much as possible.

Use the name you love. Your second child is an individual in his/her own right and should be treated as special and independent from their sibling.

It's just impossible to make others grasp the full effect of autism unless they've experienced it firsthand. I mean, if I wave repeatedly in front of my sisters face often it won't elicit a reaction, which makes it tough for people truly unfamiliar with autism to truly comprehend the speech, social, and cognitive difficulties that come with it. Most people are more familiar with high functioning.

I think it's wonderful that you're considering a name that will be easier for your son to say - that's a very thoughtful decision. Also great that you have two lovely names to choose from 💗

If OP’s DH had a lisp but OP had always loved Sara, should she stick with Sara? Or pick something like Cara?

Having a name that a close family member can pronounce is special and important.

I don't see how the OP choosing a name that her daughter's sibling will actually be able to pronounce in any way means the baby won't be treated as an individual.

I would go with your second choice. A relative has a child called Arthur and she pronounces it 'Arfur', it's always made me baffled that she picked a name she couldn't actually say properly.

I know this is different but what would probably happen is that your son would find a way of saying the name that might be cute when she's a baby, but would inevitably stick and you would all end up calling her than anyway. So I'd just go with the name he can say in the first place.

She will be special and independent regardless of her name. Op isn't suggesting giving her DSs name.

I wouldn't expect someone who wouldn't say R to have a daughter called Aurora-Rose - it wouldn't mean Luna-Lily wouldn't still be an individual

I'm noticing this too.

It's not like he's a toddler who will eventually be able to pronounce choice 1.

He's severely speech delayed individual who is autistic and may or may not be able to pronounce it in the future, but can definitely say choice 2 now and in the future.

I don't hate choice 2. It's just not my first choice. DC2 will always be an individual.

OP is talking about choosing between 2 names that she and her dh really like. The 2nd choice, out of all possible names, is one that her ds can say. OP has not gone out of her way to shoehorn a name to fit her son's articulation!

You have to name your child the name you love. DB will find a name of his own to call her, and that will be a special bond between them.

Ok, go with the second choice then. Sounds like your mind is already made up so go for it!

You will all be happy with the second name.

I would go with the one your ds could say. I have an only child. I am unlikely to have any more children through choice. However, my child has speech issues, and I would 100% choose a name he could say over one he couldn't.

Another reason for this would be that I would also want a name that is easy to say in case the second child had similar difficulties with speech. I wouldn't want my child to struggle to say their own name. For this reason I would leave out names that had sounds that are common to struggle with.

I think it's different when people imagine a young child whose speech will develop and improve over time.

What are the choices?

Is there any shortening of the name you love that he can use?

Catriona and Skye.

I don't like the shortening to Cat anyway (know it's out of my control later on) but as I said up thread the few words he says have to be used in full.

Skye is beautiful! And some people will pronounce Catriona “Kat-ree-own-a” and some “Katrina”

One of my sons was named something I didn't really like but DH did. Like a previous poster, it does seem to suit him now.

As a multilingual family, I had to discount loads of names I loved because they didn't work in one of the other languages. In fact the ones I could choose from were very few!

As a pp said, I can't imagine my dc being anything other than their name. And mostly they don't have the problems I had with getting it pronounced (which gets quite tiresome after a while).

I say go for the name you know will work.

I would choose the name your son can say. Skye is a beautiful name.

Choose the name you love. A nickname is lovely for your son to use.

For both mine I chose names I liked but didn't love. Because of DH's heritage we needed to choose names that work in 3 languages! However your other child could just use a nickname?

My teens don’t call each other by their names - they have a long standing nickname for each other ( and us too!)

Think of a easy nickname to emulate your preferred name

Definitely the name your son will be able to pronounce. It's still a name you love.