When I met my husband he had very recently split up with his ex. They had been together 5 years and his family adored her and she became close with my husbands sisters.
His ex girlfriend broke contact with the family as she found it painful, especially when he met me, and over time his family became friendlier towards me.
When I became pregnant we were thrilled and my husbands family appeared to be happy too, at the same time my husbands sister also became pregnant, and was due a bit before me.
A few weeks before our due dates we all attended a family party.My husbands ex was there with her new boyfriend. I’d like to add at the point my husbands ex-girlfriend is adorable and very respectful to me and my husband.
At the event the ex congratulated my mother-in-law on her up coming grandchildren, and my MIL was overhead (and later confirmed) saying “what can I say(about the baby)" and then “we like her but still love you” she was also heard making derogatory comments about me.
This was the first I knew my mil was unhappy about our baby, because she pretended to be as excited as we were. I didn’t let on I knew anything, but I was humiliated and devastated.
Two weeks after the wedding my sister in law gave birth to a baby girl, and called her the same name as the ex girlfriend. Going through the process myself I know how contentious the name choosing process is, and was shocked….people around us, including me, assumed the baby was named after the ex. Apparently it was just a name my sister-in-law loved. But it was embarrassing for me.
I have since also had a baby daughter, (given a unique name), and she is very much loved by the family, even if I am a clear outsider.... I have tried desperately to move on, but over time I have become more upset, angry and bitter.
Recently all the men in the family went out together and then (apparently spontaneously) the woman also got together, but my daughter and I wasn’t included… when I voiced my sadness, I was turned against with every excuse why they didn't include us.
It is clear they don’t like me, and I’m grown up enough to know this. And I’m happy to step away and let my DH and daughter have a relationship with his family without me. But I’m being told it’s in my head and that I’m imagining things. I’m now being made to feel unreasonable because I have pulled away from the family. But I feel much happier keeping away.
My husband is a very non confrontational person, so has never said anything much to defend me and his family would twist it all anyway. They always do.
I really would just like to know other peoples opinions. Should I move on? Am I being sensitive?