We love Eleanor… BUT….

[LilyTuesday]

…. My mum HATES it. Which makes it lose its shine a bit.

If we love Eleanor, what names of a similar fashion would you suggest?

No middle name, 2 syllable surname beginning with S.

Thank you!

Based on your Mum’s suggested names (Giovanna, Temperance and Clementine!!!) her taste sounds fucking terrible so I’d take her objection as reassurance that you have chosen well.

Eleanor is a great name. Eleanor of Aquitaine was badass.

I have an Eleanor. When she was born my MIL absolutely threw her toys out of the pram over the name. I still don't know (or care) why. Over time she has warmed to the name. Also we genuinely care not one jot what she thinks and made that clear at the time. I wouldn't even entertain the idea of another name if you and your DH both love it. No-one should have that power over you 💕

This thread is bringing back memories/rage for me!!

If you love the name then stick with it- she is your child not your Mother's! ( Great choice by the way- I have an Eleanor!) to those who say it's an old lady name- my DD is 26! So not old

Maybe this is a good opportunity to stand up to your mum. Set the tone for a new stage in your relationship? If anyone else likes the name is neither here no there. It’s not their child.

Eleanor is a lovely name. I also really like Matilda which is from a similar age.

My mum gets very upset over middle names. And forgets that she and my father didn't name any of us with grandparent middle names 🤣 so why we would we?

Another ‘Mother of Eleanor’ reporting for duty here!

Obviously we like the name and, as mentioned, it is great for a child or adult (ours is now nearly 30), but I particularly like the association with two strong women, Eleanor of Aquitaine and Eleanor Roosevelt - who was a great one for the pithy comment.

The most apposite one here might be “Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you'll be criticised anyway.”

You might also be tempted to tell your mother that you hope your daughter will be inspired by her name to be strong and not pushed around - another Eleanor Roosevelt quote: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Wishing you much joy with your baby, whether she turns out to be an Eleanor or not!

OP, similar happened to me when I was pregnant with DD and made the mistake of thinking out loud about our preferred name. DM whinged and moaned, which was typical of her, and when word reached my DB in the UK he rang me at 2am Melbourne time to berate me. I shut them both down and told them not to contact me again until they were ready to apologise. It took two months but I stood my ground. Boundaries!

I could suggest alternatives to Eleanor, but I won't, because you and your DH have a right to name YOUR child as you wish. Eleanor is a beautiful name and suits all ages.

BTW my school bully was Eve, but I don't hate that name. She was just one kid, a long time ago.

Don't tell anyone IRL your name choices in advance- whatever you pick there will always be someone who doesn't like it and if they're foolish enough to tell you you'll have to live with knowing that. I wish I'd never discussed DD's name online either as there was a name DH and I liked but when I mentioned it online it got a bad response from some and it put me off a bit- now wish I had just gone for it (although the name we gave her instead is also lovely so no biggie).

Eleanor is a great name and your mum will come to like it too because it will be her DGD's name.

Grow a spine and use the name you want.

I’m sorry your Mum is hard work, must be so stressful. As many Pp have said this is your little girl. Your mum had her chance to name her little girl. She sounds so overbearing and needs to be told to back off a bit imo. Eleanor is such a pretty name and she’ll get over it eventually as you’ve said she has little nn/terms of endearment for all her grandchildren anyway so I’m sure she’d find something even if she couldn’t get over the fact that many moons ago she knew a bully named Eleanor 🙄

OP your mum thinks she has a say over your child's name because you have let her have a say. It's time to put boundaries in place and tell her to back off.

If you had come on and said this was your MIL acting like this and your DH was letting her everyone would be telling you you have a DH problem, well currently your DH has a DW problem. you need to stop letting your mum interfere with your family.

In your shoes I would call my daughter Eleanor Eleanor!

Eleanor as a middle name too just to hammer the point home to your mum!

Don't listen to your mum. Her suggestions are awful too.l would bet acquiescing on this will let you up for more battles ahead with your mother. Eleanor is a strong queen's name - google Eleanor of Aquitaine.

You have a dm problem.

Imagine if it was your mil that didn't like the name, and your dh was pandering to her?

Your baby (and dhs) you both choose the name

I agree with others stick with the name you like.

However if you are feeling swayed alternatives could be:
Elspeth
Gabriella
Eloise
Elise
Elizabeth
Arabella
Isobel

Honestly, Eleanor is a lovely name, but the shocking thing here is why you seem to be allowing a dictatorial parent to determine key elements of your life.

All four of our parents hated DS’s name, but the difference was that we only told them what it was after he was born, as a fair accompli. And frankly, given the names they gave their children, I can’t say it lost me any sleep…

It does seem like you have zero boundaries with her.

Eleanor was on our list for DD2 (we didn't go for it as a close friends child was Ellie)

Other names on the list included Helena, Phillipa and Martha.

We went for Louisa in the end. DD1 is Isla.

But. Definitely ignore your Mother if she's just being silly.

Its your baby, it doesn't matter if your mum likes the name or not. Only 2 people's opinions matter when it come to naming the baby, you and your dh.
If possible ignore what your mum has to say, not sure of your baby is here on not, if not just don't mention baby names again and when baby is born register her with the name you choose, once baby is named she won't have a choice but to call your child the name you have given her

Would it make it any better if you went for the spelling' Elinor' as in Jane Austen

It’s not her decision. I cannot understand choosing a name before baby is here safe and well, let alone telling anyone

Her choices are awful - this is your choice. Smile and ignore

It's not your mother's decision. It's obviously a well-liked name.

Giovanna - not unless italian and it might be very dated
Temperance - just no, Temper
Clementine - easy peeler
Darcey - already dated and I never liked it
Penny - like if short for Penelope

Nobody hates a name once it's attached to a dc they love. My mum didn't like dd2's name when it was an option of a few when pregnant however obviously now it's her name and the gc she loves and it suits her so she'd never think about not liking it. Eleanor is lovely