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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

using a popular name

51 replies

Allthe7s · 10/04/2023 00:26

myself and DW will be starting to TTC soon.

since being together we have had a boys name set, and we did have a girls name but in the 5 years we have been together it has climbed in popularity and now I'm having second thoughts.

My eldest DS has a super popular for his age name and looking back I wish I had chosen something else (although he is named after my grandfather I was gutted it was the most popular name for a few years around his birth)

would you still use a name that's very popular or do you prefer something a little different (or even something totally unusual!)

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Dassams · 10/04/2023 16:25

i won’t consider anything inside the top 1000 or anything climbing. I feel like choosing something popular defeats the whole object of the name. I have a popular name and I didn’t enjoy it growing up and don’t like it now.

There are lots of beautiful classic names outside the top 1000. My children have names that were used about 20 times in their birth years - the names are known and easy to spell but not used often. I still love them!

Peccary · 10/04/2023 17:02

I disliked having the most common name growing up so didn't choose anything in the top 100 for DD. There are a few of the top 10 names in her year but only one is repeated , there's so much more variety in names than when I was young

mathanxiety · 10/04/2023 17:12

I'd go for it. It's a name you love. Regardless of how many others have the same name, your daughter will always be your own little 'Sarah Jane'.

Among my DDs I have one with an uber popular name and one with a very unusual one. Both of them encountered one other girl with their name on the first day of school. I had an inkling that one DD would be 'Emily B' in school, but I never thought the DD with the unusual name would end up as 'Zinaida B'. There are no guarantees.

Not their actual names...

Dassams · 10/04/2023 17:28

Among my DDs I have one with an uber popular name and one with a very unusual one. Both of them encountered one other girl with their name on the first day of school

How 'very unusual' is your daughter's name? Do you know how often it has been used in her birth year?

mathanxiety · 10/04/2023 19:15

Dassams · 10/04/2023 17:28

Among my DDs I have one with an uber popular name and one with a very unusual one. Both of them encountered one other girl with their name on the first day of school

How 'very unusual' is your daughter's name? Do you know how often it has been used in her birth year?

It was in the high 600s out of the top 1000 names the year she was born, around 670 iirc. I'm in the US, so numbers of names are greater, but they are spread out more, geographically speaking.

Other DD's name was top ten for her year.

NCforsillyQ · 10/04/2023 19:42

Classic - yes I'd still use
Faddy / recently popular - I'd try to find an alternative.

So Elizabeth yes, Emilia no.

SingingSands · 10/04/2023 20:16

If you replaced "popular" with "beloved" would that change your view?

(Just my thoughts but as far as I know, no child has grown up traumatised because other kids have the same name as them. It's a problem created by adults - children generally take delight in finding a friend with the same name.)

Dassams · 10/04/2023 20:31

It's a problem created by adults - children generally take delight in finding a friend with the same name.

That's absolutely not my experience. I hated being Sarah H or little Sarah or photocopy Sarah at work....

I always wished my parents had put more effort finding a name for me!

RachelSq · 10/04/2023 20:44

I’m fairly obviously one of those that with a “popular at the time” name. I never cared, and never had another in any of my classes (out of sheer luck) although there were loads in clubs etc. I never cared.

We named our son a top 10 name (we’d picked it out years in advance when it was barely top 100) and I’ve never cared, although there was a bit of nervousness when he started school that he’d be one of many. Turns out he’s equally lucky and not a shared name in his class, or even the school!

I was pleased he didn’t have to have his surname tagged onto things, but it wouldn’t have bothered me if he did as I knew we’d picked a popular name. The parents of the more unusual names that ended up having duplicates in the class anyway still moan now years later - almost as if their top priority was individuality rather than a nice name they loved!

I’d say go for the name you like best!

LighterNights · 10/04/2023 20:52

I guess it also depends on your surname, we have a very unusual one, so went for a more traditional first name. I think John Smith is very different to John Birdwhistle (yes I did Google unusual surnames, lol, but I love Birdwhistle and wish I was called it)

Dassams · 10/04/2023 21:14

That's true. I know many Steve Smiths and Harry Jones! That must be very annoying...

Keha · 10/04/2023 21:17

I think popular names tend to be popular for a reason, because they're nice names. There are also benefits of it being easily recognised, spelt, pronounced and unlikely to get linked to a specific person or character. My DS has a popular name but it has been top 30 for years so I see it as classic/timeless. I might have been a bit more cautious about a name that suddenly flew up the rankings as sometimes they also become unpopular quite quickly and can therefore seem very much "of their time". I don't think this necessarily matters but I do think as people age there are names that are often very associated with certain generations and sometimes people might think them old fashioned/uncool in future. Ultimately if you like a name use it. I think it's more self assured to confidently use a popular name than search around for an acceptable unusual name just because it's unusual.

Keha · 10/04/2023 21:20

I have what was a common name in my generation and it never bothered me either.

IamnotwhouthinkIam · 10/04/2023 22:33

Generally I say use the name you love and forget about popularity- but I agree with those who say it matters less if a name is popular but still very timeless, rather than if it is suddenly popular and therefore more likely to be faddy. Think the James' and Elizabeth's of 50/60 years ago rather than the Kevin's and Tracey's.

While most kids love to find their names on fun gifts/souvenirs and are really unlikely to be one of several in a class these days (even with the most popular names), it might be more annoying when they are older if their name more easily identifies them as being from a particular background or age because it rose rapidly in popularity in the decade or two when they were born (who would have thought when parents named their little girls Karen years ago, they'd have to deal with stupid memes today? )

I gave my baby DS a top 30, very classic/timeless name and have no regrets . I love the name and while we've met a couple of older ones at groups, I haven't met any his age yet, which is born out by the statistics - check the ONS baby name data for the "popular" one you are thinking of using in your individual area (my DS's popular name was used by only a handful of babies in my area in 2021, as well as falling in the tables nationally too.)

Judgyjudgy · 10/04/2023 23:18

Dassams · 10/04/2023 20:31

It's a problem created by adults - children generally take delight in finding a friend with the same name.

That's absolutely not my experience. I hated being Sarah H or little Sarah or photocopy Sarah at work....

I always wished my parents had put more effort finding a name for me!

This is what I think. Always by something else, you can't just have your name

TokyoSushi · 10/04/2023 23:24

Both of my DC have names that are usually in the top 10. I don't mind at all. Surely they're in the top 10 because people like them?!

Dassams · 11/04/2023 07:53

I think popular names tend to be popular for a reason, because they're nice names.

At that point in time!

Names, clothes, songs becomes popular or fashionable and everyone loved them. Then they start to fall out of fashion and become dated.

DesertSnow · 11/04/2023 15:12

Very interesting to read everyone's opinions on this. I'm expecting my first baby and recently found out its a girl.

The name we want is top 10 and been climbing so have been wondering whether we should go for something more unusual. However, I think we're going to stick with it for a few reasons:

We love the name! At the end of the day, why should we do anything other than use the name we really like?
It's popular because it's a lovely name.
Our surname is unusual, so she won't be one of many Olivia Smith's. (Not the actual name we like). We also plan to give her a rarer middle name (which we love, but don't see as a first name).
DH is Brazilian and it's hard to find a name that works in Brazil as well as here that we both like.
Even if she is one of several of her name in her class at school, as she grows older, enters work etc. she is likely to mix with people of all ages and backgrounds, so name will probably be less common then. You're only at school for a short portion of your life, really.
We don't personally know anyone with the name. I read somewhere that around 700,000 babies are born in the UK a year - so say 350,000 or so are girls. Even the top name is given to only a small pool of children really. It's not like every other child will have the name.
We checked the ONS for babies born with that name in our local council area for 2021 and there were fewer than 10. That feels ok to us.
Frankly, if we didn't use the name and someone we know did, I think I would feel a pang of regret ('oh we nearly called ours that').
When it comes down to it, if we didn't go with the name we love, it would be down to external factors rather than us.

10. There are a couple of meaningful associations with the name for me (DH less bothered by this), but it is a small factor for me.

It's obviously a very personal choice and I totally understand and respect people wanting a rarer name and their reasoning, but just sharing some of the factors that helped me when thinking it all through.

DuchessOfSausage · 11/04/2023 19:39

5. Even if she is one of several of her name in her class at school, as she grows older, enters work etc. she is likely to mix with people of all ages and backgrounds, so name will probably be less common then. You're only at school for a short portion of your life, really.
The names are usually popular for a number of years, so in the workplace, there will be several women with the name, even if not the same age or team.
It's usually more noticeable with men in the workplace, as I think the common names are used more frequently.
Names that are duplicated in the workplaces I've worked in are ones like Sue, Sarah, Jo, Julie, Emma, Karen and Linda, and Dave, Paul, Mark, Steve, John and Ian.

Pardree · 11/04/2023 19:45

Depends on how popular. If it's Olivia or Isabelle I'd pick something else. There are 8 Izzy's/Bella's in dd's class and quite a lot of Livi's. Anything else, fine.

garlictwist · 11/04/2023 19:52

I was born early 80s and have a name which was unheard of at the time. I was the only one wherever I went and people always said "sorry, what?" When I said my name which as a shy child I hated.

It became very popular in the nineties which means there are lots of women with my name about ten years younger.

As a result I became one of three people with my name in my office. I quite liked being known as Name Initial. It was like being in a little club.

DuchessOfSausage · 11/04/2023 19:54

@Pardree , it's probably Isabelle/Isabella or Sophia/Sofia.

Cinpple · 11/04/2023 20:05

I have a really common for the 80s name, that maybe can be spelt with a G or a J... I don't love always being one of many that people know with that name.

But I think very unusual names tend to be either a bit pretentious or just ridiculous.

Obviously the sweet spot is known but not popular. Very hard to do that and often those are the names that become popular years later.

I also like the names that work for any generation, the classics - William, James, Charlotte, Anna. Not exciting but better than something that is trying hard to be unique.

Dassams · 11/04/2023 22:54

Obviously the sweet spot is known but not popular. Very hard to do that

Not hard at all - have a look at the names outside the top 100 or top 500. Lots of beautiful well known names that aren't overused!

Vintagecreamandcottagepie · 11/04/2023 22:59

I do not like out there names, so try hard and look at me. Poor child having to repeat and spell it over and over!

So many diverse names now that even the popular ones won't have loads of children with the same name in one class.

I think popular names are popular for a reason!

Our ds1 has a name consistently in the top 10, yet we've never come across another since having him...

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